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{"id":182,"date":"2005-01-22T02:00:31","date_gmt":"2005-01-22T02:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theanchoressonline.com\/archives\/2005\/01\/22\/eleanor-eleanor-eleanor\/"},"modified":"2015-03-13T20:49:05","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T20:49:05","slug":"eleanor-eleanor-eleanor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2005\/01\/22\/eleanor-eleanor-eleanor\/","title":{"rendered":"Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor…."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026<\/span>Take your dress down from over your face!<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Some may have noticed that I am a little tough on Maureen Dowd, but truly, like Hamlet, I am cruel only to be kind\u2026she is so joyless, and I want her to get happy; I do have compassion for the gal and I really would like to see her reclaim her deteriorating writing skills.
<\/span>
But this Clift<\/em> woman\u2026egad! She aspires to Dowd-ish venom but hasn\u2019t quite the nerve for it; rather, she takes Chicken-Little-esque hand-wringing to new levels with every column. One reads her and gets an image of a woman gasping for air with every tap of the space bar. She\u2019s like a cross between Miss Havisham and little Brandon de Wilde at the end of \u201cShane\u201d\u2026one imagines her straggling about her digs wearing a faded \u201cClinton-Gore\u201d tee shirt, dragging a bit of toilet paper on her heel and moaning, \u201cBill, come back! Come back!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There are many things we take for granted, like the 40-hour week, clean air and clean water, that are the result of congressional initiatives to overcome the powers of the state. Over the last two decades, as the courts have become more conservative\u2026wrrrrack! wrrrrack! The sky is falling\u2026the sky is falling\u2026I\u2019m melting\u2026I\u2019m mellllllting!<\/em>
<\/em><\/span>
Eleanor. Girl<\/em>friend.<\/span> This is something I know we\u2019re never supposed to say to anyone, but I must say it to you, and please take it in the generous spirit in which it is meant: Take a relaxing bath. Have a strengthening brandy. Read some cheap bodice-ripper of a novel and then break open your piggy bank, find some pectorally-gifted young man and HAVE YOURSELF A WEEKEND!<\/span>
<\/span><\/span>
I guarantee you \u2013 things will look better on Monday. <\/span>
<\/span>
And if they don\u2019t\u2026repeat as necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"