{"id":18435,"date":"2010-05-12T21:31:41","date_gmt":"2010-05-13T01:31:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firstthings.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/?p=18435"},"modified":"2017-03-10T16:33:40","modified_gmt":"2017-03-10T16:33:40","slug":"the-new-celibates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2010\/05\/12\/the-new-celibates\/","title":{"rendered":"The New Celibates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/p>\n

How ironic that in a year<\/strong> where religious, and especially priestly, celibacy has been put under a microscope<\/a>, debated and often excoriated, the secular hipsters in New York City are discovering the power that comes with celibacy<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\u201cI had man whiplash,\u201d [Julia Allison] says. \u201cI needed to put my neck in a brace.\u201d<\/p>\n

She issued a proclamation, writing on her Web site last week, \u201cI decided to codify my unofficial gut reaction of \u2018I really don\u2019t feel like dating\u2019 into an official \u2018No Dating, No Sex\u2019 stance, at least for the next month, and perhaps beyond that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019s at the point, she says, where she doesn\u2019t want to seek intimacy without the potential for a serious relationship. \u201cI\u2019ve always been against the New York version of fast-food sex. Believe me, come on, please, I\u2019ve slept with guys I don\u2019t love before, but I\u2019ve frankly reached the age where I don\u2019t want to do that anymore. I\u2019ve dipped my toes in those waters, and it\u2019s cold.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n


\nI have heard of artists whose policy<\/strong> it is to forego sexual activity of any kind while they are in the middle of a project; they feel their work is stronger for having sublimated their sexual energy into it. Some Buddhists and Taoists I have studied and worked with have spoken of the need to keep sexual energy focused and restrained\u2013reined in, if you like and not allowed to wreck havoc on one\u2019s own being\u2013if its power is to be respected and perfectly utilized in life.<\/p>\n

In our society, people who have decided to put sex in perspective in their lives have been looked at as walking freak shows. Tim Tebow is a case in point<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Get accused twice of rape (Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh), repeatedly abuse your wife (Michael Pittman, Tampa Bay), regularly strangle and drown hapless dogs (Michael Vick, Atlanta)? Ah, well, boys will be boys, it is society\u2019s fault \u2014 and besides, women and dogs don\u2019t wear Super Bowl rings. But pray, work with the poor, and refuse to engage in casual sex \u2014 there\u2019s something seriously wrong with you. Or, as one Sports Illustrated writer put it, you are a certified \u201cwackdo.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Of course, I\u2019ve been sounding this cry for a while<\/a>:<\/p>\n

. . .the Orgasm is the new Idol. It is the Alpha and Omega of their human experience.<\/p>\n

This is not simply the reactionary rant of a conservative. Way back when I was a liberal, I thought way too much emphasis was being placed on sex, sexuality and the almighty O. I remember nursing my elder son and flipping on the tv , only to find a women\u2019s talk show carrying on about how orgasms brought meaning to their lives, raised their consciousness, made them the equal of men, yadda yaddda . . . Sex is great. It is also sacred. And holy. We\u2019re not taught that, anymore.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Now, clearly, some are wondering<\/strong> if maybe this a lesson they want to learn, after all. Perhaps the people who most vociferously denigrate others who attempt limited (or lifelong) celibacy are people who are too afraid to try it for themselves. As one woman in the Post article says: \u201cI considered celibacy . . . But I think it\u2019s harder to not have sex than to have sex.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes, it is altogether easier<\/em> to go with the flow. Chesterton said, \u201cA dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Increasingly, the popular culture seems a dead thing<\/strong>. Perhaps that is why some are going counter-cultural. Let\u2019s listen to what these young women have to say about reclaiming sexuality, and what that does to the ability to focus, and to love.<\/p>\n

Related<\/strong>:
\nCassy Fiano: <\/strong>has more thoughts<\/a>
\nBookworm:<\/strong> Football, faith and media<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How ironic that in a year where religious, and especially priestly, celibacy has been put under a microscope, debated and often excoriated, the secular hipsters in New York City are discovering the power that comes with celibacy: \u201cI had man whiplash,\u201d [Julia Allison] says. \u201cI needed to put my neck in a brace.\u201d She issued […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,11,43,45,51,69,99,104,234],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-remaking-ourselves","category-alternative-energy","category-catholic-vocations","category-celibacy","category-christians-in-exile","category-dominican-order","category-faith-perspective","category-feminism","category-sexuality"],"yoast_head":"\nThe New Celibates<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How 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