{"id":19346,"date":"2010-06-17T13:41:27","date_gmt":"2010-06-17T17:41:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firstthings.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/?p=19346"},"modified":"2017-03-10T16:09:40","modified_gmt":"2017-03-10T16:09:40","slug":"busybodies-intrude-on-childhood-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2010\/06\/17\/busybodies-intrude-on-childhood-friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"Busybodies intrude on childhood friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wonder if \u201cenlightened experts\u201d<\/strong> ever had childhoods<\/a>,<\/p>\n

\n. . . increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?
\n\u2026
\n\u201cI think it is kids\u2019 preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults \u2014 teachers and counselors \u2014 we try to encourage them not to do that,\u201d said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. \u201cWe try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cParents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,\u201d she continued. \u201cWe say he doesn\u2019t need a best friend.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Unreal. Read the article. The schools and \u201cexperts\u201d are intrusive and unnatural. And sad.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t about what\u2019s good for the children;<\/strong> it is about being better able to control adults by stripping from them any training in intimacy and interpersonal trust. Don\u2019t let two people get together and separate themselves from the pack, or they might do something subversive, like\u2026think differently.<\/em><\/p>\n

This move against \u201cbest friends\u201d is ultimately about preventing individuals from nurturing and expanding their individuality. It is about training our future adults to be unable to exist outside of the pack, the collective. The schools want you to think this is about potential bullying and the sadness of some children feeling \u201cexcluded.\u201d But that is not what this is about.<\/p>\n

As a kid I was the target of \u201cthe pack;\u201d I know more than I care to about schoolyard bullies, and I can tell you that the best antidote to them was having a good friend. One good friend who shares your interests and ideas and sense of humor can erase the negative effects of the conform-or-die \u201cpack\u201d with which one cannot identify, \u201cthe pack\u201d that cannot comprehend why one would not wish to join them and will not tolerate resistance.<\/p>\n

Meatballs<\/em> is a very silly movie<\/strong> with a very important, kind (and apparently subversive) core message: if you can make one good friend<\/em>, you\u2019re doing very well. That group identities have certain undeniable values, but our intimate relationships are what keep us grounded, and help us to discover and more completely be<\/em> who we are.<\/p>\n

I am so glad my kids<\/strong> are not in the public schools, anymore, but if they were still little, this latest bit of nonsense would be yet another reason to consider homeschooling<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes I wonder if \u201cenlightened experts\u201d ever had childhoods, . . . increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend? \u2026 \u201cI think it is kids\u2019 preference to pair up and have that one best friend. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,51,75],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bloodless-coup","category-christians-in-exile","category-education"],"yoast_head":"\nBusybodies intrude on childhood friendship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sometimes I wonder if "enlightened experts" ever had childhoods, . . . increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2010\/06\/17\/busybodies-intrude-on-childhood-friendship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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