Every Sperm is Sacred<\/a> Modern Medicine Catches up to Ancient Knowledge<\/a> The Dangerous Prayer of Blessing<\/a> EVERY SPERM IS SACRED?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Got an interesting email from another blogger,<\/strong> a fairly new Catholic, who is having a little trouble believing something. He writes:<\/p>\n \u2026some people on my blog suggested that every ejaculation had to hit the target, so to speak\u2026.meaning, umm, no completed oral tasks, for example.<\/em><\/p>\n I am quite sure hardly anyone knows about the \u201cevery sperm is sacred\u201d rule or thinks it is still valid \u2013 I hadn\u2019t known that some insist every sperm had to umm \u201chit the target\u201d \u2013 certainly no one in RCIA mentioned that \u2013 it would have sent people running. Are there any other Christians who\u2019d demand every sperm find its way? I never knew that Monty Python song was correct !<\/p>\n I can\u2019t believe the Church today would get into such over-regulation?<\/p>\n I am sharing this with you<\/strong> because I am sure this fellow is not the only one confused out there. I am surely no spokesperson for the church, for that matter, I\u2019m not even an \u201cexpert,\u201d in this subject. I am only a Catholic laywoman who has thought long and hard about all of this \u2013 as many of us Catholic laywomen have! :-) As such, I can tell you what my own understanding is, and it may help some who just dismiss the stance of the Church as utter nonsense.<\/p>\n The teaching, first off, is not \u2013 specifically \u2013 \u201cevery sperm is sacred,\u201d although, it must be said, when you\u2019re talking sperm and ova you are talking about essences \u2013 our essential selves, which are derived from the deepest parts of our beings, and you are talking about the material which was designed specifically<\/em> for the purpose of assisting God in the creation of humanity. God loves us into being \u2013 we are begotten. Our creation is no accident, but the Love of God made manifest, and the \u201ctools\u201d or \u201cmaterials\u201d that He uses for that creation \u2013 committed love and the mysterious and miraculous products of that love \u2013 do, simply by their designation as \u201ctools of God\u201d demand a certain respect and recognition, because they are a great deal more than the equivalent of nasal mucous or earwax. They are the essentials of human creation, and therefore they are of staggering value and import. In THAT sense, yes, every sperm is<\/em> sacred.<\/p>\n Buddhists understand this, and so do Taoists.<\/strong> They, particularly Taoists, will go out of their way not to \u201cwaste\u201d their seed or their sexual energy, because they understand how powerful it is, what a pure force is contained within that material, and within that energy. Mystics from pretty much all traditions will tell you that the energy and product of one\u2019s sexuality, if treated with respect and conservation, contributes to their overall mental and spiritual well-being. Somehow, when the wisdom comes from the East, people go, \u201cooooh, wise and mystical!\u201d When the same wisdom comes from the West, they say, \u201cooooh, repressive, obsessive and mean!\u201d<\/p>\n If you are only going to consider sperm and egg as by-products of humanity and human sexuality, you\u2019re never going to understand what it is the church is trying to say. If you accept that they are more than mere by-products but literally these \u201cDivine Materials,\u201d then the teaching becomes much more understandable.<\/p>\n As to the teaching that every sex act must \u201chit the target,\u201d (that\u2019s a rather, errr, colorful way to put it), it simply means that every sex act, if it is truly to be respectful of God\u2019s design and creation, must be opened to the possibility<\/em> of new life, to God and to His will as to whether or not new life will be created. If the couple is NOT open to that possibility, if they take steps to suppress that possibility, then they have \u2013 essentially \u2013 excluded God from the act.<\/p>\n It is, really, kind of an ultimate surrender, an ultimate trust. For Christians who routinely say, \u201cThy Will Be Done,\u201d it is where the rubber meets the road.<\/em> No pun intended.<\/p>\n This is how I related it to a Protestant emailer<\/strong> who was rationalizing the use of birth control as something that \u201cif God really wants to, he can overcome (the pill or the condom) because he is God.\u201d He wrote:<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the thing \u2026 I don\u2019t agree that using a condom or spermicide \u201cactively precludes\u201d God\u2019s involvement in your life. As I said earlier, a condom or a spermicide is a paltry obstacle to the One who spoke the Heavens into existence. He can and has intervened in that way many times.<\/em><\/p>\n Yes, I understand his point. But that is a fast bit of rationalization \u2013 I know because when I was younger, I subscribed to pretty much the same notion. \u201cYou\u2019re God, you can do anything, so if you really want me to have a baby, you\u2019ll make that happen even if I\u2019m using a spermicide, a condom and<\/em> taking the pill\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n All true\u2026but that\u2019s not surrendering. It is barricading oneself in but with an overall view of \u201cwell, if the fortress is breached, I\u2019ll sign the treaty!\u201d<\/p>\n Surrender \u2013 \u201cnot my will but thine be done\u201d \u2013 is the ultimate goal. It comes with an open door, not a barricade, or it is not surrender, at all.<\/strong><\/p>\n Yes, it\u2019s a difficult thing to communicate to people. Some accept it\u2026some don\u2019t. I don\u2019t judge anyone, because I\u2019ve walked the whole walk, myself.<\/p>\n What one must keep in mind is that what the church is putting forth is an IDEAL.<\/strong> And that\u2019s part of the job of the church, to teach and inform us as to what the ideals are, and in this case, the ideal<\/em> is that we humans remain open to the will of God, in all circumstances.<\/p>\n That\u2019s a tall order, and one that we cannot possibly meet without Grace. But the church does understand that we, in our imperfect humanity and willfulness, will very likely not meet that ideal \u2013 it tells us that there is no way we can even begin to meet the ideal if we are not at least trying<\/em> to, if we\u2019re not asking God\u2019s help and grace in doing so.<\/p>\n Nevertheless, if the church did not put forth the IDEAL, it would be terribly, sinfully remiss in its teaching, because it would basically be telling people not to bother to strive for perfection in our openness to God\u2019s will because \u201cit\u2019s not possible.\u201d A fatalist message is never a good one, particularly when Jesus tells us in the Gospel that \u201c\u2026with God nothing is impossible.\u201d (Mark 10:27)<\/a><\/p>\n One of the jobs of the church is to help us find our openness to God<\/strong> \u2013 to help us to maintain that openness to His will, so that we might reach our own best and highest spiritual potential, because we are not called to dwell in darkness but to live in the light, and in holiness. We are called to holiness: \u201cBe holy as my Father in heaven is Holy.\u201d Holiness is not something that we can compartmentalize. If we are holy, it is a permeation of our entire being, and our holiness will be reflected in all that we do, in our every action and choice, and the path to holiness begins with an openness to God, in whom we live and move and have our being. If holiness is our quest, there can then be no limits to our openness.<\/p>\n This is not a difficult thing to understand, at all. It is difficult in practice, but the church is not here to baby us along and make the roads wide and smooth. Christ told us the way is narrow, and not easy. What was it Chesterton said, \u201cThe Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.\u201d<\/em> Quite right.<\/p>\n So, you see \u2013 the church has no choice but to teach this truth, even in a season of sneering disregard and mockery. The truth is we are not all little gods but offshoots and creatures of the One God, who wishes to bring us back to him. The Way back has been made known, and the church has the duty to keep pushing us along the road, knowing we would rather take the easy way, knowing we\u2019ll look for shortcuts, knowing we will sometimes step off the path and say, \u201cit\u2019s too hard\u2026\u201d The church has no choice \u2013 she must teach it.<\/p>\n How we receive this information and how we apply it to our lives depends entirely on our own choices, on our own determination of whether or not the quest for holiness is worth the giving up of our own sensibilities and our own feeling of control.<\/p>\n But control is often an illusion.<\/strong> How many people do you know who used the pill, used a condom, were diligent in their birth control and STILL got pregnant? It happens all the time. Because the products of our human sexuality contain enormous power \u2013 power too many of us simply do not appreciate. And God will do what He will, sometimes, whether you\u2019re open to it or not\u2026in hopes that you WILL become open, and more open, to his loving gifts.<\/p>\n If you look in scripture you will never see a baby referred to as anything but a blessing from God. But we live in an age where things are topsy turvy, and we often mistake our blessings for chains and our chains for blessings.<\/p>\n ALL OF THIS supposes fertility, of course.<\/strong> The church understands and respects nature \u2013 sooner or later fertility ends, that does not mean sex ends. One of the common misunderstandings is that \u201cthe church says sex must always and only be about procreation, and if it\u2019s not possible, then sex is a sin.\u201d This is nonsense. Sex is the gift and privilege of married couples, both pleasurable and procreative. When fertility has come to an end, when the possibility of new life is no longer there, that means the procreation part has ended, not the pleasure. And please remember, folks\u2026what I am trying to communicate here is what I have come to understand through my reading and talking with priests, etc. I\u2019m no expert. I do have a catechism, somewhere\u2026I\u2019ll have to dig it out! :-)<\/p>\n Update:<\/strong> I\u2019d like to point out that I am in no way suggesting that people should simply \u201cdo their own thing because the ideal is too hard.\u201d I am not saying \u201cwink, wink, the church teaches this but you aren\u2019t expected to listen!\u201d<\/p>\n Quite the contrary, I have tried to make the point that simply because this ideal is difficult is no reason NOT to ask for the Grace to be able to achieve it, and that Jesus himself tells us nothing is impossible with God\u2019s help. If anyone does not comprehend my saying that, I would respectfully ask them to re-read what I have written.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t believe I have to spell that out, but I guess I do.<\/p>\n Hmmm\u2026here\u2019s a can o\u2019 worms I shoulda kept closed! ;-) ***<\/p>\n MODERN MEDICINE CATCHES UP TO ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) the constitution of a mother while pregnant will have lifelong effects upon her child.<\/p>\n For example, a mother who is severely depressed or experiencing extreme sadness during her pregnancy may suffer some lung ailments: Sadness effects the energy and tonality of the lungs. Ergo, her child may end up having problems with asthma.<\/p>\n Interestingly, Western Medicine is beginning to find the same correlation the Chinese had discovered<\/a> so long ago.<\/p>\n Mothers who suffer from major depression or anxiety disorders are more likely to have children with asthma and other allergy-based conditions, according to a US study. The association was only found for biological children, supporting a \u201cshared genetic liability\u201d theory.<\/em><\/p>\n Ramin Mojtabai, a psychiatrist from Columbia University in New York, US, assessed the relationship between parental psychopathology and childhood allergy in more than 9000 parent-child pairs from the 1999 US National Health Interview Survey. Most of the parents were biologically related to their children, but 554 of the pairs were non-biological.<\/p>\n [\u2026]<\/p>\n Mojtabai says it is unclear why the children of mothers with depression had a higher risk of allergic disorders, but he speculates that it might be related to mitochondria \u2013 which are inherited through the maternal line \u2013 as mutations in mitochondrial DNA have been reported in both atopic and other skin disorders and in bipolar mood disorder. \u201cOr it could be to do with genetic imprinting \u2013 how some genes are expressed when received from one gender, but not the other,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n \u201cOther studies have shown a shared genetic risk for allergy and mood disorders in twins, and that people with depression are themselves more likely to suffer from asthma, although we didn\u2019t find any strong evidence for that,\u201d Mojtabai adds. <\/p>\n I love finding stories like this. Western Medicine is wonderful, and I would not try to live without it \u2013 it is the hardware of the science of human wellness, health and recovery. But sometimes I think Chinese medicine (and some folk medicine) is the software of that same science. (Prayer, of course, should suffuse and accompany both.)<\/p>\n Although Western medicine is relatively young (150 years or so) and the other medicines are ancient, they both have value, and I\u2019m always amused when someone pooh-poohs an Eastern remedy that has been around for thousands of years, simply because it is NOT a new Western treatment. Many people don\u2019t realize that well before the discovery of penicillin, Oriental doctors were making compounds of mold and deeply green leaves (chorophyll) to fight infection. So when I find stories like this, which have even the barest suggestion of bringing West and East together, I like to highlight it.<\/p>\n I can tell you that I was robust and hearty with my first pregnancy and my elder son is never sick. I was much less so with Buster (threw up for 9 straight months, almost from the moment he was conceived until the very morning of his delivery) and he has seemed, from the start, to have a more delicate constitution and more penetrable immune system. That\u2019s a mere anecdote, I know, but it is interesting, when reading Chinese Medicine, to think back to all the times you have experienced great sadness or grief or stress in your life, only to have it followed by upper respiratory situations. Knowing what I know about the Chinese theories of sadness and the lungs, it was not a great surprise to me to find that 12 weeks or so after the death of my brother (while on vacation, when my body was finally starting to relax) my lungs and immune system were so amenable to laying me out with pneumonia. My husband, too, was hacking away, although he managed not to go all the way into the bark-wheeze-and-gag which made 7 days at sea so much fun!<\/p>\n Interesting stuff. The Web that Has No Weaver<\/a> is a particularly good book if you\u2019re looking for accessible reading on Chinese Medicine.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n THE DANGEROUS PRAYER OF BLESSING<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n This blessing is dangerous<\/strong> because it takes you (and me) out of the equation and dares to allow God to work what and as He will. I read it first from an emailer who got it here<\/a>, via here<\/a><\/p>\n This \u2018blessing\u2019 was prayed over Henri Nouwen by his spiritual mentor:<\/p>\n May all your expectations be frustrated. That sounds like a terrible prayer<\/strong> if you are praying it, for example, for a dying loved one, for parents of a sick child. But is it, really? In fact, it sums up the whole idea of \u201cnot my will, but thine be done\u2026\u201d it is precisely what Jesus taught us, but we forget that. We\u2019re so into \u201cfeel good\u201d Christianity and \u201cExpect a Miracle\u201d thinking (and there is much to feel good about, in Christianity, and many miracles to expect) that we forget the hard truth \u2013 that beneath all of that we\u2019re supposed to be disposed toward surrender, we\u2019re supposed to be getting out of the Creator\u2019s way (and our own) so that He may increase as we decrease.<\/em> We pray \u201cthy will be done\u2026\u201d but I think many times we don\u2019t mean it. We say it because we know we \u201cshould,\u201d but it\u2019s bittersweet. \u201cOkay, Lord, you\u2019re going to do it your way, so I\u2019ll acquiesce\u2026but, please, please, can\u2019t you do it my way? Think about it, Lord! My way is pretty good, too, isn\u2019t it? And you want me to be happy, don\u2019t you? Get back to me, Lord! Love ya! Mean it! Call me!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Okay, I\u2019m indulging in a little silliness, but only because this is such an un-silly prayer, an un-silly topic.<\/p>\n The reason I am thinking about this prayer, and about the sort of surrender my sister and her family are tearfully making<\/a>, is because of this \u201cI want what I want when I want it\u201d mindset I am seeing in stories like this one<\/a>:<\/p>\n A sperm donor passed an extremely rare and dangerous genetic ailment to five children born to four couples, doctors reported Friday in a case that exposes a gap in the screening process.<\/em><\/p>\n No, you don\u2019t have to go the sperm-donor route in order to pass a genetic illness on to your children; it happens to couples all the time. But this brings up the whole idea of \u201cwanting what you want, when you want it\u201d and being completely unwilling to simply accept the gift of your own basic circumstance. And I am about to become very unpopular, but I hope you\u2019ll stay with me a little, before blasting me.<\/p>\n By basic circumstance, I mean this:<\/strong> A child-loving couple finds they are infertile. This is an agonizing situation, to be sure. But while they pursue every and all possible means to have \u201ctheir own\u201d baby, or one that is \u201cmostly\u201d their own, do they ever stop to think, \u201cLord, what are you trying to show me\u2026is it your will that I not<\/em> have children, is there a path I am supposed<\/em> to be treading, that is not this one?\u201d<\/p>\n We rarely stop to think that way. In a noisy world full of possibilities and sciences \u2013 most of them good \u2013 the idea of not having what you want is almost unthinkable. Of course<\/em> we should all have precisely<\/em> what we want. That\u2019s why God gave us science, right?<\/p>\n Well, maybe\u2026but maybe not. Maybe that couple was supposed to adopt a kid who ended up unadopted. Maybe they were never supposed to have kids at all \u2013 they were supposed, instead, to rescue dogs, or put enormous time into volunteer work.<\/p>\n Or, maybe they were supposed to have kids, precisely as they had them \u2013 but I\u2019m just putting it out there \u2013 do we ever stop to think that the stuff we\u2019re being given to deal with we are meant to actually deal<\/em> with, live<\/em> through, emerge<\/em> from in a changed and beautific way?<\/p>\n How about another scenario<\/strong> \u2013 and this one will really tick some off \u2013 you\u2019re gay. You\u2019re a human being, with a human sexuality and a human sex drive, but you\u2019re gay. The church in which you\u2019ve been raised says, \u201cokay, so, you\u2019re gay. No sin in that, but as such, you may not marry \u2013 because marriage is the province of men and women whose coming together assists in the continuation and revitalization of all creation \u2013 therefore, since you may not marry, you are called to the same celibacy as any unmarried person. One gift has been denied you, but if you pay attention you will be shown your gift, and your calling \u2013 perhaps you are called to be a necessary other\u2026do you accept the calling? Do you accept this dangerous blessing?\u201d The answer, of course, is \u201cno, hell<\/em> no, screw<\/em> this, screw<\/em> the church, screw<\/em> this crazy idea of my having some sort of otherness<\/em> or calling<\/em> I\u2019m here, I\u2019m queer, get used to it, and don\u2019t give me any crap about thinking differently or you\u2019re a freaking homophobe and I will take you down\u2026\u201d<\/em> But I know there are some gay folk out there \u2013 there must be \u2013 who read a book like Dietrich Bonhoeffer\u2019s The Cost of Discipleship<\/em> and think\u2026maybe I am called to more than a gay pride parade, a DVD collection of Will and Grace and allegience to my almighty orgasm. Maybe there is something else I am supposed to be doing, that I am not? Maybe I am too much in the world, and there is mystery to which I have not surrendered?<\/p>\n We all think we\u2019re supposed to hear \u201cyes\u201d all the time.<\/strong> And \u201cyes\u201d feels so much better than \u201cno.\u201d Although, for most of us, we can look back on our lives and find a few times when the \u201cyes\u201d we wanted so badly would have been better off a \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n I am not proposing that the whole world take a look at the cards in their hand and \u201cfold.\u201d To surrender is not to fold. It is to play the hand you\u2019ve been dealt \u2013 to take it as far as you can, in faith and obedience (there\u2019s a word you never hear anymore\u2026) Tough to do\u2026it goes against our every instinct.<\/strong> And yet, this is what Christ lived out for us. His trial, torture and death were NOT what his followers had in mind. It did not meet their expectations. It thwarted all their plans and turned their desires into nothingness. And they had no choice, they had to just deal with it, accept it, live through it. And on the third day, Christ rose, and the entire world was made new, due to that surrender \u2013 due to playing a hand no one really wanted to see dealt, faithfully, and to completion.<\/p>\n There is a lesson Fr. Nouwen taught:<\/p>\n First Christ takes us as we are. We are \u2013 historically \u2013 a stiff-necked people. And we more and more refuse to be broken, to allow ourselves to be given out.<\/p>\n I have an idea buzzing in my head \u2013 I\u2019m not ready to articulate it; it is for another post, possibly a multi-parter \u2013 but I\u2019m thinking of another group demanding \u201cwhat it wants, when it wants it,\u201d my friends who have taken the uncompromising stand on illegal immigrants, the stand that says \u201cship them all out, no amnesty, not even for folks who have been here a long time and been productive\u2026and by the way, Bush sucks. He sucks about everything, now, because he didn\u2019t say yes to us.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n And damn you, Moses,<\/strong> leading us out of slavery and into the desert. When we were slaves in Egypt, at least we had melons and meat. You suck, Moses \u2013 we can\u2019t see the sense in what you\u2019re doing and we don\u2019t like it. You\u2019re slow of tongue, you\u2019re stupid, you\u2019re letting us down, you\u2019re breaking faith and you should put someone else in charge. You\u2019ve only given us 75% of what we want! Yeah, the Red Sea parting was nice, but what have you done for us lately? And you\u2019ve been too long on that freaking mountain, too. Let\u2019s melt some gold! Aint I rough enough, ooh baby Ill never be your beast of burden<\/p>\n The beast upon which we ride \u2013 individually and collectively \u2013 is so enormous<\/strong> we cannot see its beginning or its end. We cannot really describe it. Were we to dismount, we would find it looks nothing like what we imagined \u2013 we might not even recognise it as our<\/em> beast of burden. And yet, we are all so very sure about what it is, exactly, and where it is taking us.<\/p>\n I expect a lot of people to completely misunderstand this post\u2026mostly because I\u2019ve probably written it poorly, expressed myself without enough clarity. That is my fault, and I apologize for falling short and lacking the lucidity it might demand. I just put it out there as food for thought.<\/p>\n Mick Jagger said it much better:<\/strong> You can\u2019t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Every Sperm is Sacred Originally posted August 04, 2005 Modern Medicine Catches up to Ancient Knowledge Originally posted June 11, 2005 The Dangerous Prayer of Blessing Originally posted May 20, 2006 EVERY SPERM IS SACRED? Got an interesting email from another blogger, a fairly new Catholic, who is having a little trouble believing something. He […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,62,167,209],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-catholicism","category-culture-of-lifedeath","category-medical","category-prayer"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nOriginally posted August 04, 2005<\/em><\/p>\n
\nOriginally posted June 11, 2005<\/p>\n
\nOriginally posted May 20, 2006<\/p>\n
\nRelated:<\/strong> Self-Respect is not prudery<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nMay all your plans be thwarted.
\nMay all your desires be withered into nothingness.
\nThat you may experience the powerlessness and the poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God the Father, the Son and the Spirit.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n<\/em><\/p>\n
\nSometimes you have to play aggressively and even radically. No child born should have to \u201csurrender\u201d to racist treatment because they were dealt a skin shade others may not appreciate. No gay man or woman should have to submit to violence or public scorn and disrespect because they were dealt homosexuality. But perhaps part of our whole human experience is meant to contain a moment wherein we say, \u201cokay, God, you dealt me this hand. I don\u2019t particularly appreciate it \u2013 it\u2019s not the hand I would have chosen. Therefore, I\u2019ll let you play it, I\u2019ll follow your lead and trust that it will not come up a stinker. <\/em><\/p>\n
\nHe blesses us.
\nThen He breaks us.
\nAnd gives us to the world to bless.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n
\nYeah, all your sickness
\nI can suck it up
\nThrow it all at me
\nI can shrug it off
\nTheres one thing baby
\nThat I dont understand
\nYou keep on telling me
\nI aint your kind of man<\/em><\/p>\n
\nAint I tough enough
\nAint I rich enough, in love enough
\nOoh! ooh! please<\/p>\n