{"id":3730,"date":"2007-10-24T14:25:41","date_gmt":"2007-10-24T19:25:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theanchoressonline.com\/2007\/10\/24\/maureen-dowds-best-column-ever\/"},"modified":"2017-03-17T14:56:05","modified_gmt":"2017-03-17T14:56:05","slug":"maureen-dowds-best-column-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2007\/10\/24\/maureen-dowds-best-column-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"Maureen Dowds best column, ever! – UPDATED"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

It\u2019s guest-written by Stephen Colbert<\/a>, who takes shots at everyone he can. My favorite:<\/p>\n

Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:<\/em><\/p>\n

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn\u2019t have to think about. It\u2019s all George Bush\u2019s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.<\/p>\n

There. Now I\u2019ve written Frank Rich\u2019s column too.<\/p>\n

So why I am writing Miss Dowd\u2019s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates. For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can\u2019t remember if I\u2019m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she\u2019s actually easy to beat, or if I\u2019m supposed to be scared of her because she\u2019s legitimately scary.
\n[\u2026]
\nAnd Fred Thompson. In my opinion \u201cLaw & Order\u201d never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Really funny stuff is usually funny because it is dead-on true.<\/p>\n

While Colbert, ala Pat Paulsen<\/a> (it really is 1968 all over again, isn\u2019t it?) is contemplating a run for the White House, he gives us his positions:<\/p>\n

Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: \u201cAfter Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.\u201d On gender: \u201cThe sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.\u201d On race: \u201cWhile skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.\u201d On the elderly: \u201cThey look like lizards.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I couldn\u2019t write about Ms. Dowd for a few years because she was behind a wall. I got out of the habit of reading her. I may have to start, again, and that\u2019s never pretty<\/a>, but I\u2019ll try to be more gentle, this year. She gets thumbs up and props from me for this one.<\/p>\n

UPDATE: <\/strong> Colbert\u2019s penchant for reality blurring \u201ctruthiness\u201d is confounding the feds<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s guest-written by Stephen Colbert, who takes shots at everyone he can. My favorite: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business: Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn\u2019t have to think about. It\u2019s all George Bush\u2019s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[83,251],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3730","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-election-2008","category-the-fourth-estate"],"yoast_head":"\nMaureen Dowds best column, ever! - UPDATED<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's guest-written by Stephen Colbert, who takes shots at everyone he can. 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