{"id":4112,"date":"2008-04-07T21:44:05","date_gmt":"2008-04-08T02:44:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theanchoressonline.com\/2008\/04\/07\/does-forgiving-help-us-to-keep-going\/"},"modified":"2017-03-16T23:51:37","modified_gmt":"2017-03-16T23:51:37","slug":"does-forgiving-help-us-to-keep-going","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2008\/04\/07\/does-forgiving-help-us-to-keep-going\/","title":{"rendered":"Does forgiving help us to keep going?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Do you remember this terrible story, wherein a couple lost five of their children<\/a> in a collision?<\/p>\n

Deacon Greg links to an inspiring conclusion to that terrible story<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\nNow, more than two years after the accident, Mr. Helm has been acquitted on charges of vehicular homicide. Mr. Schrock says he has accepted that he may never know exactly what happened or why. He also says he has a friend he did not have before, Mr. Helm.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe primary bond there is the accident,\u201d Mr. Schrock said. \u201cWe\u2019re both injured by that, physically and mentally.\u201d
\n[\u2026]
\nFriendship under such circumstances is complicated, Mr. Schrock said, like pretty much everything else that has happened since the accident. For him, the challenge has been to forgive Mr. Helm without expecting resolution, and to build a friendship regardless of the forces working against it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This reminds me of a story here on Long Island, where a teenager who was goofing around, stupidly, threw a frozen turkey at a moving car and nearly destroyed a woman\u2019s face, and how that turned out<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Surgeons, who rebuilt her face using metal plates and screws, said the impact might have caused lasting brain damage. But prosecutors say that Ms. Ruvolo\u2019s recovery has been remarkable and that she is once again back at work and living on her own.<\/p>\n

Accompanied by several friends and relatives, Ms. Ruvolo, a 44-year-old office manager, came to court wearing a black pantsuit and a gold cross on a chain for her first face-to-face meeting with Mr. Cushing.<\/p>\n

Stopping to speak to her on his way out of the courtroom, Mr. Cushing choked on an apology and began to cry. For an intensely emotional few minutes, Ms. Ruvolo alternately embraced him tightly, stroked his face and patted his back as he sobbed uncontrollably.<\/p>\n

Many of the two dozen people in court \u2013 prosecutors, court officers and reporters \u2013 choked back tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m so sorry, I\u2019m so sorry,\u201d Mr. Cushing said over and over again. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean it.\u201d Most of their exchange was whispered, but at one point Ms. Ruvolo\u2019s advice to him was just barely audible.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s O.K., it\u2019s O.K.,\u201d she said. \u201cI just want you to make your life the best it can be.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And we saw this sort of heroic forgiveness among the Amish<\/a> after their children were slaughtered.<\/p>\n

I was at Adoration earlier today and wondering about saints and heroes, and whether it is \u201ceasier\u201d sometimes to be a \u201chero\u201d when things are clearly one or the other \u2013 good or bad, black or white \u2013 than when things are ambiguous and blurred as so much is, in our age. And I wondered too whether it\u2019s easier to be merciful, when a hurt against you is huge and very, very clear, when it is a \u201churt\u201d that you know is going to be with you every day for the rest of your life\u2026maybe when it\u2019s that crystaline \u2013 so obvious that you don\u2019t need Oprah or Dr. Phil to tell you you\u2019ve been hurt \u2013 you have to forgive or you can\u2019t move on, either. Maybe if you can\u2019t forgive\u2026you kill your own spirit.<\/p>\n

I hope I never have to find that out for sure.<\/p>\n

Related: <\/strong> The Mystery of Forgiveness<\/a>
\nMea Culpa has its values<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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