{"id":45647,"date":"2013-07-02T21:54:44","date_gmt":"2013-07-02T21:54:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/?p=45647"},"modified":"2015-07-24T15:54:25","modified_gmt":"2015-07-24T15:54:25","slug":"only-bad-guys-hate-babies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2013\/07\/02\/only-bad-guys-hate-babies\/","title":{"rendered":"“Only Bad Guys Hate Babies”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>
\nMy image, 1986<\/em><\/p>\n

And with that, Simcha Fisher speaks truth<\/a>:
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had a woman hold a door for my double stroller and hiss, \u201cYou have too many children.\u201d My friends have been lectured in their church parking lots about their irresponsible breeding behavior. They\u2019ve been glared at for the high crime of bringing children into a supermarket. People get up and change seats with a groan of disgust when we come into a waiting room, as if the pretty little toddler in sandals and a sundress is covered in oozing sores.<\/p>\n

{\u2026] In a way, the distaste children is easy to deal with. It\u2019s so obvious that only bad guys hate babies. But what tears my heart is the people who reach out in wonder and astonishment at a baby, as if she\u2019s a novelty, something lovely and exotic, a precious, aberrant artifact that they\u2019re drawn to and long for, but cannot understand. A baby is a sweet hallucination, something you enjoy before coming to your senses and getting back to your real life.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cOnly bad guys hate babies.\u201d<\/strong> Succinct. To the point.<\/p>\n

In the NY Times last Sunday, between the Magazine and the paper, I read not one, not two but three pieces that either took passing snipes at people who dared to bring their children out in public or acknowledged that they\u2019re aware of this baby-hating mood. I remember it was three because my husband and I discussed the casually recurring theme. In one particularly off-putting piece \u2014 meant, I think<\/em> to be funny (and failing) \u2014 a woman learning to ride a bike writes<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Learning to ride a bike in a public park means anyone can see you. This was plenty insulting, but I took special offense at the sleep-deprived puffy couples with squawking newborns openly delighting in our discomfort. These wan goons I derided sotto voce<\/em> for bringing their squealing offspring to brunch or for clogging up the sidewalk were momentarily cooler than I, and that was unbearable.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ugh, ugh, ugh.<\/strong> So ugly, so neurotically self-involved and weird. <\/p>\n

Then this story, in the Real Estate section, where a mother is so casual about the social disdain shown her daughter<\/a> we must believe she gets a lot of it: <\/p>\n

The couple are enjoying the neighborhood more than they expected. \u201cI didn\u2019t realize how many great restaurants are on Fifth Avenue . . Those restaurants are child-friendly, too. \u201cI can walk into a really nice restaurant with my 4-year-old daughter and not feel everyone\u2019s chest tighten,\u201d Ms. Fontes said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So, yes, Simcha is relating a truth<\/strong>; increasingly people feel entitled to publicly demonstrate their hatreds, not just for people who think differently (\u201cenemies of the human race!\u201d<\/a>), or on political issues (\u201cI hope your daughter gets raped!\u201d<\/a>); they feel okay about hating little kids. <\/p>\n

Active baby-hating is not a sign of a healthy society.<\/p>\n

But whoever said we were that?<\/a><\/p>\n

Related:
\nMore (and rather terrifying)<\/strong> child-hate-as-feature in the New York Times.<\/a><\/p>\n

The blood runs cold. Break it down to its essentials, and it\u2019s \u201cYeah, I could have had the kid and we\u2019d have still been fine, but what\u2019s the difference? This way I wasn\u2019t inconvenienced.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My image, 1986 And with that, Simcha Fisher speaks truth: I\u2019ve had a woman hold a door for my double stroller and hiss, \u201cYou have too many children.\u201d My friends have been lectured in their church parking lots about their irresponsible breeding behavior. They\u2019ve been glared at for the high crime of bringing children into […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":112,"featured_media":45648,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[305,347,4916,1388],"class_list":["post-45647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-babies","tag-culture-of-death","tag-culture-of-life","tag-hating-kids"],"yoast_head":"\n"Only Bad Guys Hate Babies"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My image, 1986 And with that, Simcha Fisher speaks truth: I've had a woman hold a door for my double stroller and hiss, "You have too many children." 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