{"id":10578,"date":"2013-07-18T11:30:11","date_gmt":"2013-07-18T15:30:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=10578"},"modified":"2017-01-26T18:29:44","modified_gmt":"2017-01-26T23:29:44","slug":"how-to-tell-if-your-child-is-completely-unexceptional","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2013\/07\/how-to-tell-if-your-child-is-completely-unexceptional.html","title":{"rendered":"How To Tell If Your Child Is Completely Unexceptional…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 Twenty nine and unemployed. Check. Living in parent\u2019s basement. Check. Over inflated sense of self importance. Check. Enabling parent. Double check. <\/p>\n

Remember that scene in the movie The Incredibles<\/em> when Dash tells his mom that when everyone is special no one is<\/a>? The point is later reiterated by the villain who proclaims \u201cWhen everyone\u2019s super, no one is\u201d. <\/p>\n

Yeah\u2026 being labeled as \u201cgifted\u201d now-a-days is kinda like that. <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Meet indignant father, Nick, who defensively claims his unemployed, living at home in the basement, 29 year old son is \u2018gifted\u2019. Nick is also one of those parents<\/del> BFF dads who believe that passing on parental values, morals, and religious beliefs is \u201ctantamount to child abuse\u201d by forcing kids what to think. He also doesn\u2019t believe in kids doing chores. Or getting jobs and being productive citizens. Not surprisingly he also feels it\u2019s A-OK for his son to hide out in the basement waiting for the economy to improve till junior gets the job he \u201cdeserves\u201d. So basically, Nick failed as a parent and his son is loaf. <\/p>\n

\u201cMatt, I heard your horrible conversation today about parenting. A few comments in response:<\/p>\n

1) Based on your remarks, I have to say I feel bad for your kids. You sound like the sort of person who never should have been a parent. You said you plain to teach your kids \u201chow to think.\u201d I guess this is common in right wing religious fundamentalist households. Personally, I let my child form his own conclusions about things. To impose your views on a child is tantamount to child abuse. Do them a favor, let them think FREELY.<\/p>\n

2) You greatly exaggerate the importance of \u201cchores.\u201d Also, the idea that a kid should be forced to \u201cget a job\u201d is abhorrent. My son was very gifted so we gave him all the tools to succeed academically. This meant we didn\u2019t turn him into slave labor and we certainly didn\u2019t tell him he needed to go work behind a cash register. He concentrated on his school work, and we did our job as parents and financially supported him.<\/p>\n

3) It\u2019s easy to mock a \u201c30 year old who lives with is parents.\u201d My son is almost 29 and he\u2019s been home with us since he graduated. Unfortunately the job market isn\u2019t the greatest (maybe you hadn\u2019t heard) and I\u2019m not going to let him starve on the street. He has a college education, it\u2019s pointless for him to be out working in a retail store or some other menial job. I will be here for him until he is able to get the job he deserves.\u201d <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What happens next it glorious. <\/p>\n

Matt Walsh puts him and his \u201cgifted\u201d son in their appropriate place<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Dear Nick, <\/p>\n

\u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not an expert on parenting. I never claimed to be. But you don\u2019t need to be an expert to know that one of the fundamental tasks of a parent \u2014 and this really speaks to the whole point of the endeavor \u2014 is to teach your child how to navigate the physical, moral, spiritual and intellectual dangers of life. This includes teaching them how to think, which could also be referred to as passing on your values and your worldview. If you have no interest in doing this, then I would suggest that you never really wanted a child \u2014 you wanted a friend. Now you have one. Living at home with you. Forever. Congratulations.<\/p>\n

\u2026<\/p>\n

Chores schmores. What can they teach a kid? Discipline, obedience, and hard work? Screw that. What is this, the 50\u2032s? Listen, Nick, don\u2019t take this the wrong way, but what leads you to the conclusion that your son is \u201cgifted\u201d? He can\u2019t mow the lawn, work a job, earn a living, pay a bill, apply a skill, or support himself, yet he\u2019s \u201cgifted\u201d? What are his gifts, exactly? You know, something tells me an astronaut\u2019s parents never have to inform people that their child is \u201cgifted.\u201d People sort of pick up on that based on context clues. They behold his accomplishments and admire his achievements. They can SEE his gifts. He uses them, applies them, refines them. Your son MIGHT have gifts \u2014 the jury is still out \u2014 but whatever they may be, they\u2019ll atrophy and whittle away the longer he spends lounging in a bean bag chair eating macaroni and cheese.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Read the full exchange here<\/a>. <\/p>\n

If anything, this serves as a cautionary tale against the frightening trend of being your kid\u2019s bestie, or as I call it, non-parenting. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026 Twenty nine and unemployed. Check. Living in parent\u2019s basement. Check. Over inflated sense of self importance. Check. Enabling parent. Double check. Remember that scene in the movie The Incredibles when Dash tells his mom that when everyone is special no one is? The point is later reiterated by the villain who proclaims \u201cWhen everyone\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":78,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Tell If Your Child Is Completely Unexceptional...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"... Twenty nine and unemployed. Check. Living in parent's basement. Check. Over inflated sense of self importance. Check. Enabling parent. 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