{"id":13492,"date":"2014-04-24T10:10:29","date_gmt":"2014-04-24T14:10:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=13492"},"modified":"2015-01-10T21:37:55","modified_gmt":"2015-01-11T02:37:55","slug":"a-husband-who-asks-for-a-divorce-and-the-wife-who-doesnt-buy-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/04\/a-husband-who-asks-for-a-divorce-and-the-wife-who-doesnt-buy-it.html","title":{"rendered":"A Husband Who Asks For A Divorce and the Wife Who Doesn’t Buy it…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 I\u2019ve been married and unhappy. I\u2019ve been single and unhappy too. I\u2019ve even been in perfectly wonderful relationships and been utterly miserable. There have been times in my life where I have been more successful and financially better off than other times and I can count instances of unhappiness there as well. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s because my unhappiness had zero, zilch, nothing to do with the external factors of my life during those times. Running away from responsibilities never made me happier, just exhausted. Trying to blame others for my miseries was pointless. Blame is always pointless. <\/p>\n

And Laura Munson knew that. She refused to accept the blame for her husband\u2019s unhappiness when he asked her for a divorced. <\/p>\n

What follows next is one of the most beautiful illustrations of the marriage commitment I\u2019ve ever read.<\/a> A wife who understood her husband\u2019s misery weren\u2019t about her and she continued to love him unconditionally just the same. <\/p>\n

If you are married, do yourself the small favor of reading this. Then share it with all your other married friends. Even if you are single, it is important to read this article, if anything, to shed the naive belief that marriage is happily ever after or that your spouse is supposed to \u201ccomplete you.\u201d <\/p>\n

Excerpts from He Said He Was Leaving. She Ignored Him \u2013 by Laura Muson<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t love you anymore. I\u2019m not sure I ever did.\u201d<\/p>\n

His words came at me like a speeding fist, like a sucker punch, yet somehow in that moment I was able to duck. And once I recovered and composed myself, I managed to say, \u201cI don\u2019t buy it.\u201d Because I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

He drew back in surprise. Apparently he\u2019d expected me to burst into tears, to rage at him, to threaten him with a custody battle. Or beg him to change his mind.<\/p>\n

So he turned mean. \u201cI don\u2019t like what you\u2019ve become.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gut-wrenching pause. How could he say such a thing? That\u2019s when I really wanted to fight. To rage. To cry. But I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Instead, a shroud of calm enveloped me, and I repeated those words: \u201cI don\u2019t buy it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2026<\/p>\n

I said: \u201cIt\u2019s not age-appropriate to expect children to be concerned with their parents\u2019 happiness. Not unless you want to create co-dependents who\u2019ll spend their lives in bad relationships and therapy. There are times in every relationship when the parties involved need a break. What can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo trekking in Nepal. Build a yurt in the back meadow. Turn the garage studio into a man-cave. Get that drum set you\u2019ve always wanted. Anything but hurting the children and me with a reckless move like the one you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then I repeated my line, \u201cWhat can we do to give you the distance you need, without hurting the family?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow can we have a responsible distance?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Why are article\u2019s like this so important to read and share? Because when a marriage dissolves it sends the message to society that divorce is OK. It\u2019s OK to give up each other and break vows. And every time a marriage overcomes the odds it reassures others that it can be done. <\/p>\n

There are few things more tragic then when a spouse treats another as a throw away object simply because they feel unhappy or bored with their lives. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026 I\u2019ve been married and unhappy. I\u2019ve been single and unhappy too. I\u2019ve even been in perfectly wonderful relationships and been utterly miserable. There have been times in my life where I have been more successful and financially better off than other times and I can count instances of unhappiness there as well. That\u2019s because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":78,"featured_media":13496,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,119],"tags":[774],"class_list":["post-13492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-real","category-the-sexes","tag-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\nA Husband Who Asks For A Divorce and the Wife Who Doesn't Buy it...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"... I've been married and unhappy. I've been single and unhappy too. 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