I Hate Corn...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"... Specifically, I hate corn fields. I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Hate Corn...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"... Specifically, I hate corn fields. I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Crescat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-07-31T12:49:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-01-11T02:37:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/66\/2014\/07\/skert.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"225\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"224\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Katrina Fernandez\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Katrina Fernandez\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html\",\"name\":\"I Hate Corn...\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-07-31T12:49:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-01-11T02:37:41+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#\/schema\/person\/c9dc4618a6b6ed3f289501dad3a031b2\"},\"description\":\"... Specifically, I hate corn fields. I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I Hate Corn…\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/\",\"name\":\"The Crescat\",\"description\":\"Fortified with vitamin BXVI. Not a substitute for regular mass attendance. Side effects may include mackerel snapping.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#\/schema\/person\/c9dc4618a6b6ed3f289501dad3a031b2\",\"name\":\"Katrina Fernandez\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/63fb79a49cad186031168f8db7e7abe1?s=96&d=retro&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/63fb79a49cad186031168f8db7e7abe1?s=96&d=retro&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Katrina Fernandez\"},\"description\":\"Mackerel Snapping Papist\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/author\/thecrescat\"}]}<\/script>\n","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Hate Corn...","description":"... Specifically, I hate corn fields. I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I Hate Corn...","og_description":"... Specifically, I hate corn fields. I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html","og_site_name":"The Crescat","article_published_time":"2014-07-31T12:49:02+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-01-11T02:37:41+00:00","og_image":[{"width":225,"height":224,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/66\/2014\/07\/skert.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Katrina Fernandez","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Katrina Fernandez","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html","name":"I Hate Corn...","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-07-31T12:49:02+00:00","dateModified":"2015-01-11T02:37:41+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#\/schema\/person\/c9dc4618a6b6ed3f289501dad3a031b2"},"description":"... Specifically, I hate corn fields. I've talked about my Mirkwood, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I Hate Corn…"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/","name":"The Crescat","description":"Fortified with vitamin BXVI. Not a substitute for regular mass attendance. Side effects may include mackerel snapping.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#\/schema\/person\/c9dc4618a6b6ed3f289501dad3a031b2","name":"Katrina Fernandez","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/63fb79a49cad186031168f8db7e7abe1?s=96&d=retro&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/63fb79a49cad186031168f8db7e7abe1?s=96&d=retro&r=g","caption":"Katrina Fernandez"},"description":"Mackerel Snapping Papist","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/author\/thecrescat"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/78"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14615"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14615\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

{"id":14615,"date":"2014-07-31T08:49:02","date_gmt":"2014-07-31T12:49:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=14615"},"modified":"2015-01-10T21:37:41","modified_gmt":"2015-01-11T02:37:41","slug":"i-hate-corn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2014\/07\/i-hate-corn.html","title":{"rendered":"I Hate Corn…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 Specifically, I hate corn fields. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve talked about my Mirkwood<\/a>, those tangled dark woods that menacingly exist at the edge of my land and where even the dog is afraid to venture in too deeply. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve talked about the insane wildlife that prowls the grounds under the cover of night \u2014 The Chupracabras<\/a>, the coyotes<\/a>, the demonic deer<\/a>, disgusting bugs<\/a>, and tormenting birds that chirp and screech all night<\/a>. And the toads. When it rains it\u2019s the plague of frogs. <\/p>\n

Now I have a new menace to add to the list. <\/p>\n

Corn. Evil corn. <\/p>\n

When normal people see a field of corn\u2026<\/p>\n

$\"Corn_fields\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

When I see a corn field on imagination hyper-drive\u2026<\/p>\n

$\"monster\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

And once again I find myself out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by horror because every farmer within a five miles radius has covered their entire acreage in this insidious crop. Imagine it\u2026 driving down the road, alone at night, and to either side of you are fields and fields of towering corn. Each field containing hidden horrors waiting to ponce. Demon deer. Ax wielding maniacs. Zombies. Ax wielding maniacal zombies riding demon deer.<\/p>\n

Who knows what monsters lurks between their rows. <\/p>\n

$\"danny-oh-no-gif-pagespeed-ce-a3di1e3mbc\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s like living in the middle of a haunted corn maze. all. the. time. with little chance of escape. Ever. <\/p>\n

When I go outside at night I hear the stalks rustle and move in the darkness. I know it\u2019s in there. It<\/em> knows I know it\u2019s in there, always watching from the stalks. At least I think we have a mutual understanding, I hope \u2026 as long as I don\u2019t wander too closely or linger too long. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"