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{"id":3161,"date":"2011-11-22T12:36:04","date_gmt":"2011-11-22T17:36:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=3161"},"modified":"2015-11-26T13:26:28","modified_gmt":"2015-11-26T18:26:28","slug":"tips-for-surviving-the-thanksgiving-holiday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2011\/11\/tips-for-surviving-the-thanksgiving-holiday.html","title":{"rendered":"Tips for surviving the Thanksgiving holiday…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Whatever the circumstances may be, please let me share with you my sage wisdom on dealing with Thanksgiving. This is carefully gleaned advice from years of mistakes, mishaps, and martini addled memories. <\/p>\n

Attire<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are going to be eating like it\u2019s your last meal ever with an endless buffet of variety. Your pants will not hold up under the strain. Trust me. Invest in a good pair of elastic waist stretchy pants. You can go casual in the roomy jumper version of a Snuggie<\/a> or, for the more fancy fashionable types, the sweatpants that look like jeans<\/a>. Another alternative is to keep a set of pant waist extenders<\/a> in your purse. <\/p>\n

Another no-no is high heels. If you plan on drinking to cope with the in-laws wearing a pair of comfortable flats is a must. Don\u2019t ruin a perfectly good meal with a twisted ankle. Or worse, spill your drink as you go clumsily falling down a flight of stairs. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Food Preparation<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you can, avoid at all costs cooking. Let someone else do it. Offer instead to bring the wine and adult beverages. A good guest doesn\u2019t forget the mixers. <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a bit of advice I wish I had one year; it takes about a half an hour per pound to defrost your turkey. That means a 12 pound bird will take about 6 hours to defrost. Take it out of the freezer now<\/strong> and put it in the refrigerator. And no, hell no, just because you are using a turkey fryer this year doesn\u2019t mean you get to skip this step. If you do, the government will arrest you as a terrorist<\/a>! <\/p>\n

Of course, if push comes to shove there\u2019s still time to put your Honey Baked Ham on lay-away<\/a>. <\/p>\n

You\u2019ll thank me later. <\/p>\n

PS- I also welcome your advice and sanity saving tips in the comments.<\/p>\n

PPS- Don\u2019t leave your ashtray near the propane turkey fryer. The emergency room will be crowded enough without your added presence. Again, trust me on this one. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"