{"id":3980,"date":"2012-01-10T23:09:18","date_gmt":"2012-01-11T04:09:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=3980"},"modified":"2017-01-25T17:32:18","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T22:32:18","slug":"when-youre-single-you-can-have-cashews-and-yoohoo-for-dinner-while-watching-say-yes-to-the-dress-and-theres-no-one-around-to-remind-you-how-fattening-cashews-are-or-how-tv-rots-your-brains","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2012\/01\/when-youre-single-you-can-have-cashews-and-yoohoo-for-dinner-while-watching-say-yes-to-the-dress-and-theres-no-one-around-to-remind-you-how-fattening-cashews-are-or-how-tv-rots-your-brains.html","title":{"rendered":"When you’re single you can have cashews and Yoohoo for dinner while watching Say Yes to the Dress and there’s no one around to remind you how fattening cashews are or how tv rots your brains…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 Having no one to impress really does have it\u2019s advantages. Today I am looking at the bright side of things. Tomorrow may be another story, but today I\u2019m enjoying the freedom to have the TV remote to myself and to eat my dinner from a can of nuts. <\/p>\n

For the most part I\u2019m content with where God has me right now. In between periods of contentment I have hissy fits<\/a>. I hear this is normal though. Whatever mood I may be in \u2013 good, bad, or completely indifferent \u2013 I will always react poorly to one particular piece of well meaning advice. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe minute you stop looking you will meet him. Just let go\u2026 blah.blah.blah. And some other stuff I don\u2019t hear because I stopped listening 2 minutes ago.\u201d <\/p>\n

What does this even mean, \u201cstop looking\u201d? Do you mean stop trying all together because single women who long for marriage never stop trying or looking. To do so would mean we give up hope that one day our prayers will be answered. I\u2019d rather be repeatedly disappointed than hopeless! Or do you mean to simply stop actively seeking and trust that a perfectly wonderful Catholic man is going to fall from the sky and land in my lap through no effort of my own? Am I wrong to always want to look my best every time I walk out the door, even if it\u2019s a trip to pick up the dry cleaning, because you never know who you\u2019ll bump into. It\u2019s called optimism and hope. Two things I\u2019m not ready to entirely surrender. <\/p>\n

One of the things I love about Seraphic Singles<\/a> is that \u201cAuntie Seraphic\u201d has never, to my knowledge, given women this irksome piece of advice. She\u2019s very encouraging that women should remain positive and do everything they realistically and practically can to help things along. Really, she\u2019s an invaluable resource. <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s another post I ran across a few days ago that I thought was worthy of sharing. Kate Hurley, The Sexy Celibate, talks about how she perceives the advice to \u201clet go\u201d and explains how it\u2019s really hurtful <\/a>. She writes,<\/p>\n

\u201cNot letting go=being single.
\nLetting go= being married. \u201c<\/p>\n

I would say 90 percent of Christian singles have had this formula given to them in one way or another. Most of them dozens of times. Almost every time I mention writing my book on singleness, single people give me some kind of version of this story.<\/p>\n

Most of us, when we first heard this formula as a young person, grabbed our journal and bible and went to a quiet place. We turned our sweet young faces to heaven with tears in our eyes and said \u201cLord, I let go. I give my husband to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do you know why we were saying this? Because we wanted a husband. And according to the formula, if you wanted a husband, you had to let go of him first. So we were letting go of him in order to get him.<\/p>\n

Quite ironic, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

And yet over the years, when that formula didn\u2019t work, we started cringing when someone told us we just needed to let go. Maybe we couldn\u2019t put our finger on why it irked something deep inside of us, but it did.<\/p>\n

I have a theory about why it frustrates us so much. At the root of this formula is the idea that all single people have done something wrong and all married people have done something right.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The best thing married people can do for their single friends is to pray for us and encourage us to never give up. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026 Having no one to impress really does have it\u2019s advantages. Today I am looking at the bright side of things. Tomorrow may be another story, but today I\u2019m enjoying the freedom to have the TV remote to myself and to eat my dinner from a can of nuts. For the most part I\u2019m content […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":78,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[189],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-single-life-2"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen you're single you can have cashews and Yoohoo for dinner while watching Say Yes to the Dress and there's no one around to remind you how fattening cashews are or how tv rots your brains...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"... Having no one to impress really does have it's advantages. Today I am looking at the bright side of things. 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