{"id":433,"date":"2011-08-04T20:24:00","date_gmt":"2011-08-04T20:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2011\/08\/its-almost-funny-if-it-werent-so-terrible-sad\/"},"modified":"2017-01-26T17:31:49","modified_gmt":"2017-01-26T22:31:49","slug":"its-almost-funny-if-it-werent-so-terrible-sad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2011\/08\/its-almost-funny-if-it-werent-so-terrible-sad.html","title":{"rendered":"it’s almost funny, if it weren’t so terrible sad…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 this week has been a rather unfortunate one, full of mishaps and malfunctions. <\/p>\n

Last week, a perfectly nice gentleman I was acquainted with asked me to join him for dinner. I happily accepted. We exchanged numbers and asked him to call me to work out the finer details. I had a date. <\/p>\n

Aw. This sounds like the beginning of a happy story, doesn\u2019t it? Well, it\u2019s not. Remember whose blog you\u2019re reading. What follows is a true recollection of the events as they unfolded. <\/p>\n

Quite pleased with myself that a fine gentleman asked me to dine with him, I went about my normal daily activities in a much better mood. At some point the following day I turned the ringer off on my cell phone. I usually have to at work. <\/p>\n

Naturally, I missed his call. But so much time had passed before I noticed the missed call and voice mail, it was far too late in the evening to call him back. It would have to wait till the following evening when I got home from work. Which I did promptly. Only he didn\u2019t answer, so I left a message. Then I made dinner, put my son to bed, and decided to retire to the tub. <\/p>\n

Here is where things get comically stupid. <\/p>\n

He called me back the minute I stepped into the tub. Thirty minutes later I called him back and left another message in response to his. <\/p>\n

The next day he called me back\u2026 the second I went to the bathroom. You can see where this is going? Over the course of three days, every single time he called I was indisposed and unable to take his call. I was too embarrassed to go into detail on a voice mail why I kept missing his call. Would he really believe it was just unbelievably bad timing or secretly wonder if I suffered from incontinence or kidney failure. Neither condition is terribly attractive to a potential suitor. <\/p>\n

I actually spent an entire day in a constant state of fear of using the toilet. I even took my cell in the bathroom with me and stood there for a few minutes trying to will it to ring. Craziness. <\/p>\n

Desperate, I also tried other bathrooms. At the movie theater. At work. At a friend\u2019s house. But it knew. That bastard piece of technology. Do you know how crazy it sounds to tell someone \u201cHang on. I just want to go stand in that bathroom over there. I\u2019m expecting a call.\u201d Well I know. It sounds crazy. <\/p>\n

The last time he called, which was two days ago, he left a very curt message. I\u2019m sure he thinks I\u2019m some flake or was having a laugh at his expense. Or just very very insane. You don\u2019t need me to tell you there was never a date.<\/p>\n

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\u2026 this week has been a rather unfortunate one, full of mishaps and malfunctions. Last week, a perfectly nice gentleman I was acquainted with asked me to join him for dinner. I happily accepted. We exchanged numbers and asked him to call me to work out the finer details. I had a date. Aw. This […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":78,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nit's almost funny, if it weren't so terrible sad...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"... this week has been a rather unfortunate one, full of mishaps and malfunctions. 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