{"id":5049,"date":"2012-03-20T23:14:53","date_gmt":"2012-03-21T03:14:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=5049"},"modified":"2017-01-25T17:31:43","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T22:31:43","slug":"what-to-do-with-difficult-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2012\/03\/what-to-do-with-difficult-people.html","title":{"rendered":"What to do with difficult people…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 In my post below I mentioned briefly that I had a strained relationship with my mom until very recently. This estrangement prevented me from developing healthy relationships with other women. I won\u2019t elaborate on the circumstances out of respect for my mother but I will acknowledge I wasn\u2019t the easiest daughter to raise. Shocker. Stubborn, opinionated, and extroverted, I don\u2019t think my bookish introverted mother knew just what to make of me. <\/p>\n

At the first opportune moment I was out from under her roof like a shot, eager to do whatever the hell I felt like doing whenever I wanted. That didn\u2019t work out for me but it was something I needed to learn for myself. There was a period in my young adulthood where we didn\u2019t speak for two years. Then when we tried to reconcile all the old resentment and anger resurfaced. It became easier to turn my back on the whole situation and move on with my life. But you never really move on. Some hurts you carry around with you and I learned, after moving all over the US, you can\u2019t run from yourself. <\/p>\n

So what changed? How did 30 years of dysfunction finally end? <\/p>\n

I forgave. <\/p>\n

When she didn\u2019t want it, I forgave. When she wouldn\u2019t accept, I forgave. When she denied any wrong doing, I forgave. Even when she refused to apologize, I forgave. I couldn\u2019t change<\/em> her so my only recourse was to forgive<\/em> her. The only thing about the whole messed up situation I actually had any control over was how I reacted to her. The only thing I could change was myself and my attitude. Oh, and I grew up a little bit. <\/p>\n

Growing up helps. It is easy to be bitter and nurse anger or turn on backs on situations too difficult to bear. It shows a level of maturity to face these challenges. Children place blame, \u201cHe did it\u201d! Grown ups acknowledge their hand in the ordeal and work to set it right. Now, I\u2019m not going to go on and on about how mature I am \u2013 this blog would certainly prove otherwise; however, I will go on and on about how I got where I am because of the Church. And the good thief. Do we even know what his crimes were? I know it had to be something heinous because crucifixion was reserved for the baddest of the bads, and yet he got to bypass purgatory because Christ forgave. The forgiveness I found in my first reconciliation is the same source of forgiveness I found to try and heal my family. <\/p>\n

After awhile my obnoxious optimism and enthusiastic zeal for the Church got the better of my mom and two years after my conversion, in 2006, she came back home to Rome after a 30+ year absence. Any transformation this family has undergone is the from the sole intercession of St. Joseph, a little red plastic rosary<\/a>, the Holy Roman Church, and the sacrament of reconciliation \u2013 the same reconciliation given by Christ. Any forgiveness I was able to give was because much was forgiven of me. <\/p>\n

For Lent, please reconcile. Please forgive. Whether the person you need to forgive wants that forgiveness or not \u2013 for yourself, forgive. <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Titian, Christ and the Good Thief. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2026 In my post below I mentioned briefly that I had a strained relationship with my mom until very recently. This estrangement prevented me from developing healthy relationships with other women. I won\u2019t elaborate on the circumstances out of respect for my mother but I will acknowledge I wasn\u2019t the easiest daughter to raise. Shocker. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":78,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[187],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-i-actually-know-what-i-am-talking-about-here"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat to do with difficult people...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"... In my post below I mentioned briefly that I had a strained relationship with my mom until very recently. 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