{"id":7959,"date":"2012-11-19T17:57:08","date_gmt":"2012-11-19T22:57:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=7959"},"modified":"2017-01-25T18:39:21","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T23:39:21","slug":"the-handy-dandy-holiday-guide-to-christmas-music","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2012\/11\/the-handy-dandy-holiday-guide-to-christmas-music.html","title":{"rendered":"The Handy Dandy Holiday Guide To Christmas Music…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 Ah, the Christmas season. That wonderful time of year where our auditory organs are about to be assaulted with the shittiest, most sentimental musical garbage ever to be composed since Marty Haugen took up liturgical music. It\u2019s as if Thomas Kinkade decided to be a musician. <\/p>\n

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Below I\u2019ve composed a handy dandy musical guide for your holiday delight because I know from experience, some things just can\u2019t be unheard<\/em>. <\/p>\n

Songs that are NOT<\/strong> Christmas Music\u2026 <\/p>\n

Mary Did You Know<\/em> \u2013 not only shitty, but heretical too.
\nDo They Know It\u2019s Christmas<\/em> \u2013 Written by Bob Geldaf. Not even if it was written by Gandalf.
\nSimply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time <\/em>
\nChristmas Eve in Washington<\/em>
\nHave a Holly Jolly Christmas<\/em>
\nThe Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy<\/em>
\nSanta Baby<\/em>
\nHappy Christmas [War is Over]<\/em> or whatever<\/p>\n

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You know what, let\u2019s make this easier\u2026 if it\u2019s written or sung by a pop star or country musician it\u2019s probably not Christmas music. If it doesn\u2019t mention the Incarnate Word of God made Flesh it\u2019s definitely not Christmas music either. If the words \u201cReindeer\u201d, \u201cHippo\u201d, and \u201cGrandma got run over\u201d are in the lyrics it\u2019s an unholy abomination in the sight of God and you\u2019d be more benefit to stab scissors in your ear canal. <\/p>\n

Crescat approved Christmas Music\u2026<\/p>\n

O Holy Night<\/em>
\nO Come, O Come Emmanuel & the O Antiphons<\/em>
\nSilent Night<\/em>
\nHark the Heralds<\/em>
\nGod Rest Ye Merry Gentleman<\/em>
\nAve Maria<\/em><\/a>
\nO Magnum Mysterium<\/em> <\/a>
\nO Come All Ye Faithful
\nHandel\u2019s Messiah<\/a>
\nOnce in Royal David\u2019s City<\/a>
\nIl Dulci Jubilo \u2013 one of my favorites<\/em><\/p>\n