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{"id":7993,"date":"2012-11-20T18:26:24","date_gmt":"2012-11-20T23:26:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=7993"},"modified":"2017-01-26T22:12:36","modified_gmt":"2017-01-27T03:12:36","slug":"brace-yourself-i-am-going-to-cook-this-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2012\/11\/brace-yourself-i-am-going-to-cook-this-thanksgiving.html","title":{"rendered":"Brace yourself, I am going to cook this Thanksgiving…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 Get poison control on speed dial and hide yo\u2019 butter cause I\u2019m making three, yes three, Paula Deen recipes. <\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Every year it\u2019s an on going controversy in my family\u2026 if you make stuffing why do you need mashed potatoes? It\u2019s too much starch. Funny, how I\u2019m worrying about too many carbs but am on board with stopping the flow of blood to my heart by consuming unholy amounts of butter. What\u2019s on the menu, you ask. <\/p>\n

Turkey, of course. Deviled eggs, biscuits, stuffing, sweet potato casserole<\/a>, green bean casserole<\/a>, corn casserole<\/a>, cranberry sauce in the shape of a can, and banana pudding and a box-o-wine for dessert. <\/p>\n

All of this will be created by me from scratch. The end really is nigh. <\/p>\n

Well, the wine\u2019s not from scratch. I don\u2019t own a vineyard, so yeah. And the cranberry sauce is canned, but that\u2019s a tradition. The only reason I buy the gelatinous slop is because I like the way it retains the shape of the can. Now that I think about it the biscuits are from a can too, the Pilsbury kind. <\/p>\n

At least the Paula Deen casserole recipes are home-made. I think. Is it still considered \u201chome-made\u201d if I use canned corn though? And Kraft pre-shredded cheese? And a box of Jiffy corn meal? Can I say I made dinner from scratch if all I\u2019m doing is combining a bunch of boxed, processed ingredients into a bowl?<\/p>\n

Whatever it is, it\u2019s still a monumental leap from cereal for dinner. <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a funny anecdote \u2013 while I was at the store over the weekend buying the ingredients for the big dinner a lady noticed me putting 5 packs of butter in my grocery cart. She gave me a knowing nod and said \u201cPaula Deen\u201d. Is it weird I wanted to high five her? <\/p>\n