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{"id":81,"date":"2011-10-04T11:28:36","date_gmt":"2011-10-04T15:28:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=81"},"modified":"2017-01-25T18:31:42","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T23:31:42","slug":"things-you-learn-from-southern-catholics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2011\/10\/things-you-learn-from-southern-catholics.html","title":{"rendered":"Things you learn from Southern Catholics…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 This past weekend I drove to Knoxville to visit, the always hifreakinlarious, Mrs. Digital Hairshirt<\/a>. I learned much during my weekend stay. Her priest told me the only way to out run a bear is by running down hill, they are rump heavy. I\u2019ve never had any problems trucking my Puerto Rican posterior down inclines so I had my doubts. I also had no plans in the near future to hike the NC mountains and test the theory. <\/p>\n

Since the only life saving advice my priest gives me with any regularity is go to confession and quit your sinnin\u2019, I decided to just do what everyone else does when they don\u2019t know something. Google it. <\/p>\n

Turns out, I was right. A bear will kill you and eat your face off<\/a> no matter which way you run on a hill. <\/p>\n

I also learned another Southern tradition, you must always cross yourself when you drive by a Cracker Barrel. For surely, Cracker Barrel is a gift form Our Lord. He created the Cracker Barrel and saw it was good. <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"