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{"id":9016,"date":"2013-02-12T18:12:14","date_gmt":"2013-02-12T23:12:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/?p=9016"},"modified":"2017-01-25T17:49:05","modified_gmt":"2017-01-25T22:49:05","slug":"warning-i-am-about-to-say-shit-a-lot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thecrescat\/2013\/02\/warning-i-am-about-to-say-shit-a-lot.html","title":{"rendered":"Warning: I am about to say “shit” a lot…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u2026 Do you have a dog? Do you let your canine companion shit in other peoples\u2019 yards? Then I hate you with the fires of a thousands blazing suns. <\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care if you pick up their poop with a baggy or not. Just stop it! It\u2019s gross and incredibly rude. You can never<\/em> clean it up sufficiently enough to where it won\u2019t still get wedged into the cracks in the soles of my shoe. It leaves just enough fecal residue behind that you don\u2019t notice it right away till you\u2019ve ground into the floor boards of your car and the carpet in your house\u2026 or worse, you cross your legs and get it on your pants, and your friends are all like \u201cEw. What\u2019s that smell? Did someone fart?\u201d<\/p>\n

I see all these dip shits walking around with a bag of poop swinging from their wrists. You are carrying around a sack of shit. You know that right? A sack of shit.<\/p>\n

Owning a dog 101<\/strong>\u2026<\/p>\n

You take your dog for a walk after<\/em> it\u2019s relieved itself. AFTER. The walk is the reward for going to bathroom. The walk is the reward. Got that. Take the effort to train your dog to relieve it\u2019s bowels in a corner of your own damn yard then reward that behavior with a nice long walk. It\u2019s not hard. You teach them not to poop in the house, eat the couch, or kill the mailman. What\u2019s this one more little thing to make the world a nicer, sweeter smelling place? Or do you just live to torture me? <\/p>\n

Oh\u2026 and if still can\u2019t wrap your brain around being a courteous pet owner, at least take your sack of shit home with you and throw it in your own trash can. Not my can sitting at the curb waiting for me to roll it back up to the house when I get home. There\u2019s is nothing more obnoxious and foul than having your dog\u2019s crap fester in my garbage can for an entire week until the next trash collection day. <\/p>\n

Why do you want to make me hate you? Why? <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"