Holy shit! Catholicism for kids

September 6, 2010 by Guest Contributor

Click ONCE on the image and weep … with laughter. See this hysterical Catholic TV video in its context here. (Make sure your sound is enabled.)

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Hieronymus Fortesque Lickspittle

EWWWWW!
George

I lasted until around 7 mins then I got really angry and turned it off… now I feel sick!
David B

Got through nearly 3 minutes before fear of vomiting took over and hit the back button.
David B
Mike

Need more info before I view this. I think.
Daz

I watched to the point where a cgi baby in a nun’s habit was shown giggling, with a man nailed to a cross in the background. I’m really not sure I want to see any more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxo81Ok9Urk
Niklerog

Clearly trying to bank on the success of the Baby Einstein model. It’s never too young to begin the brainwashing program.
Broadsword

Given the choice I bet even small children would avoid this brainwashing in favour of something more entertaining like the Teletubbies. Why can’t they just be allowed to play?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVlBqMdJiFs
rog

Fuck, me.
for toddlers??!?!
The next good joy that mary had,
It was the number 6,
to see her son Jesus Christ up on the crucifix…..
child abuse me thinks.
otoh, I’d love to see the satanic version for babies!
Carasek

“Red and yellow. Black and white. They are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.”
Er…
Reminds me of some recent indoctrination. I live in Sri Lanka at the moment (if you need proof that Buddhism ain’t always peaceful, look no further) . Anyway, my buddy’s kids are educated at an international school for sound reasons, but they do have to suffer some strange religiots’ teachings.
His 4-year old son came home the other month and exclaimed that my friend is not actually his father, rather ‘God’ is his true and only father. The child proclaimed that he doesn’t have to take orders from the false father anymore. Clearly he is confused (or highly intelligent and manipulative!), but WTF? Fortunately, my friend’s healthy atheism and good humour has put the boy back on track and he’s now probably a bit of a handful for the teacher.
I don’t know if my friend is in much of a position to speak to the school, but this is probably the most pragmatic approach given his personal circumstances. However, my friend is highly interested in what his children think and say and so he can counter the brainwashing live. Pity the children who fall prey to this with no protection.
barriejohn

If you go down to the Church today you’re sure of a BIG surprise:
If you go down to the Church today you’d better go in disguise;
For every priest that ever there was
Is gathered there for certain because
Today’s the day the paedophiles get their rocks off!
From “Children’s Favourites” with Uncle Rat
Devout Atheist

Like several other commentators, I could only stand a few minutes before hilarious incredulity was replaced by stomach-churning anger and disgust. I was similarly indoctrinated with fear of hell-fire and damnation, the conviction that sex is evil, and the rest of the insane garbage, from the age of four. Despicable.
Har Davids

A baby-nun? The intro was enough for me. I pity the children whose parents subject them to this kind of BS. It reminded me of the sickiness of the Teletubbies (remember the gay one?), but more gross. They must be desperate if to want to get them this young; is this a case of cradle-snatching?
FlimCamMan

Hilarious – utterly hilarious! Send it to Harry Hill. In the meantime, have a look at my take on a recent news story about Lance Private Batfinger.
http://www.vimeo.com/11422274
stargraves

Yeah – that was pretty sickening. I didn’t know jebus went to hell for 3 days? And very low quality.
My own little boy is 17 months old now dances along to the songs on Metalocalypse like Thunderhorse and Murmaider – he loves cartoons, though we always watch them with him, to point things out, rather than using the programme to distract.
He even has his own little dance for Murmaider – holding up his hands one at a time during the chorus as if hes holding a shiv, pipe, hammer or axe – ahh so cute. Probably NSFW to be honest… :o)
Thunderhorse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n58TOwJDBcU&feature=related
Murmaider
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsnbYXyPvZQ&feature=related
I am, now that he is starting to get older, trying to wean him onto stuff like postman pat, trap door and dangermouse of course. I am a responsible parent after all. He’s not setting foot in a church if I can help it :o)
Sarah

Yuk. That’s got to be one of the freakiest things I’ve ever seen.
Is it really genuine or is someone taking the piss?
Har Davids

Next: the Pope Youth, where your kids will learn to honour and obey Jesus and his representatives on Earth. Read the Bible from cover to cover and ignore anything from the outside world that tries to make sense!
Sean Reynolds

It has a really freaky David Lynch feel to it. Its the way they’re distracting the target audience with toys children like while repeating a prayer over and over in different languages. I like the multilingual thing, but I can’t help but think you’re fucking up a childs cognitive development more than anything else.
When those kids go to nursery school:
Teacher: And what does the cow say children?
Class: MOO!
Little Mary: Amen!
Teacher: Time for our ABCs…
Class: A B C…
Little Mary: Our father who art in heaven…
Teacher: And what comes after Three?
Little Mary: Jesus! Praise his name!
Then the teacher gets sued for correcting the messed up kid and oppressing the deeply held religious beliefs of someone who just mastered shitting on the big toilet.
barriejohn

Seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlVZNxa8qpU
Louis Theroux’s programme was great!
Garlic

Barriejohn just won this thread.
barriejohn

Well – how do you top Westboro Baptists, Garlic? (Though you might like to watch the Bible Camp video I posted on the previous thread!)
rog

I’d just like to say that my Satanist jibe earlier was meant as a joke, but at the same time if some one had tried it – oh, imagine the moral out cry! How could any sane, good person do such a thing to a child??? and so on. [not that a child would ever have to see it in order to get the effect]
That vid actually disgusted and enthralled me in equal measure – who in their right fucking mind tries to teach bloody toddlers religious *dogma* & tales of death?
I’m angry now. Fuckers!
I’m going to be protesting the pope in London, and now have another small reason to dislike the chap.
barriejohn

Stargraves: I distinctly remember reciting the “Apostles’ Creed” every single week at Sunday School when I was very young indeed, and understanding very little of it. Being an intelligent and inquisitive little chap I could never work out why Jesus should descend into hell when he was the perfect Son of God, and no one ever bothered explaining any of it to us. But how, under the circumstances, can you force children of that age to recite the words: I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, And in Jesus Christ, His only Son our Lord, Who was conceived of The Holy Ghost (another phrase which caused much puzzlement – what did God have to do with ghosts?), when the words mean little or nothing to them?
stargraves

@barrie – I went to RC infants, primary & High schools and I can’t remember the “our father” or the “Hail mary” particularly well – but the definition of osmosis is right there! Though my parents dragged m to church til I was confirmed (and were fine about me never going again ever!) they were a million years away from the rabid frothing nutcase christians you see around these days.
I tired very quickly at school of hearing about Jebus and the host of other crackerjack nonsense they came out with, like global floods, red seas parting, etc as it was both startlingly unnessecary and at odds with what I’d read in science encyclopedias about our evolution and human history, and so I willfully daydreamed when in RE classes, thus clearing the decks for an active imagination and a skeptical mind!
(“prone to lethargic lapses” I believe one school report said! :o)
It annoys me now to think of the wasted hours every week of my education when I could have been learning about business skills, managing domestic finances, or even radiator keys. Something dull but enormously useful in life!
Neuseline

” This fun show exposes babies and young children to the sounds of prayer and language when their minds are most able and eager to learn.”
That sentence says it all. If they were honest they would say ….”when their minds are most able to be indoctrinated.”
I, too, had to hit the stop button when the cross was brought out.
Well, I suppose the only good thing about Islam is that its followers don’t bother us with religious symbols. Just fancy if they started praying to the horse of the “Night Ride”.
barriejohn

Neuseline: If religions were not able to indoctrinate the young they would all virtually disappear within a couple of generations!
Martin

yes, creepy all right.
Just a quick comment about the crucifix. I have been reading recently that Jesus was quite likely crucified on a simple stake – not a cross.
Interesting discussion on this Christian site.
http://www.gotquestions.org/cross-pole-stake.html
If you read the entire piece, you might note the grotesque justification for Christian martyrdom…
“If we call ourselves â€œChristians,â€ then we must deny ourselves and give up our lives for His sake. This may take the extreme form of being martyred for our faith, but even in the most peaceful political settings, we must be willing to lose the selfâ€”crucifying self-righteousness, self-promotion, selfish ambitionsâ€”in order to be His followers. Those who are not willing are â€œnot worthyâ€ of Him (Matthew 10:38).”
Ick.
barriejohn

Take a look at this!
http://proudatheists.wordpress.com/2010/09/02/mass-we-pray-video-game/
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Holy shit! Catholicism for kids