{"id":1281,"date":"2015-10-01T03:51:12","date_gmt":"2015-10-01T03:51:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/themediawitches\/?p=1281"},"modified":"2015-10-01T11:48:34","modified_gmt":"2015-10-01T11:48:34","slug":"its-october-get-ready-for-a-lot-of-really-dumb-fashion-articles-about-witches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/themediawitches\/2015\/10\/its-october-get-ready-for-a-lot-of-really-dumb-fashion-articles-about-witches\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s October: Get Ready for a Lot of Really Dumb Fashion Articles About Witches"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Well, folks, it\u2019s that time of year again. Pumpkin spice lattes, apple picking, wool sweaters, suede boots, black cats, broomsticks, and witches! Every year there seems to be an explosion of articles on the web about witches just in time for Hallowe\u2019en. While some of them profile actual witches, or take a look at folklore, a great many of them seem to be inspired by portrayals of witches in media. And that means telling you how to Dress Like an Actual Witch!<\/p>\n

Like we have a dress code or something. Like there is some kind of standardized uniform we all wear. Like we all shop at the same witchy boutique at the mall (Hot Topic anyone?). Like we all have some kind of look<\/em> we\u2019re going for. Well, okay, sometimes we do. But srsly? Do we need an article to tell us how to do it?<\/p>\n

Apparently so. \"tumblr_n7ecugmsdP1sq257bo1_500\"<\/a>Like this one, \u201cHow to Dress Like a Witch from your Favorite Teen Stories This Halloween<\/a>,\u201d which offers some really lame suggestions for how to dress like your favorite teen witches. The clothing pieces chose are kind of sad, even interspersed as they are with pentacle chokers and bras (yes there is a pentacle bra harness thingie, and it\u2019s kinda cool). And the descriptions of the \u201cteen witches\u201d are just annoying. Like this description of Hermione Granger: \u201cOnce a know-it-all teacher\u2019s pet with no friends, she blossomed into an intelligent, powerful ally and all-around best bud to Harry and Ron.\u201d Then there\u2019re some Hogwarts leggings and a baggy cardigan I am pretty sure Hermione would never wear (I might wear those leggings, though).<\/p>\n

Nancy Downs of THE CRAFT is described thus by the author: \u201cI\u2019ve never seen anyone pull off \u201990s grunge so perfectly.\u201d Um, grunge? Don\u2019t you mean GOTH? Grunge was about flannel and workbooks and yes, as it became a fashion statement rather than the unstudied mode of dress of garage bands in Seattle (where it was cold and dreary, hence the flannel), there were some black boots and knit hats. But Nancy wore black lingerie and studded collars and silver chains dripping with rosaries (trying her best to sex up her Catholic school uniform). The article suggests a Schoolgirl uniform as a basis; then shows a red and black checked fleece skirt that looks like something cut up from a lumberjack\u2019s wool shirt.<\/p>\n

And please, whatever you do: Don\u2019t forget the make-up tutorial<\/a>!<\/p>\n

Look, if you\u2019re going to invoke THE CRAFT\u2019s fashion magic, at least do it properly. This article appeared last fall: \u201cHow to Dress Up Like the 90s Teen Witches of The Craft<\/em> for Halloween<\/a>.\u201d I like this one: there are plenty of great photos from the film, and the suggestions of clothing and jewelry are actually rooted in careful observation of the characters. It even includes recent Tweets from Fairuza Balk! \"f12ac38a243bfa7e82517f4993e874c2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Then there are the \u201cwitches on the runway\u201d articles. Yes, the world of haute couture has become enchanted by\u00a0all the witchy shows and movies recently, and it seems like every season at least one major designer is influenced by witches. This article from last fall<\/a> explains that \u201cHalloween is for amateurs. Every witch worth her salt knows that sorcery is a 365-day job. It\u2019s not about a pillowcase full of chocolate-covered fructose or grocery store pumpkins in the shape of who knows what. It\u2019s about the hocus pocus, the toil and boil. It\u2019s about magic. And with magic comes responsibility.\u201d It goes on to demonstrate\u00a0<\/span>how to \u201cdress like a witch every day\u201d by emulating the designers who created cloaks and diaphanous black gowns for Fashion Week: \u201cFor runway-inspired ideas on building your own witchy wardrobe, click on the slideshow below and leave your cauldron at home. There\u2019s no incantations required.\u201d Okay, I\u2019ll be sure to leave my cauldron at home<\/em>. Sheesh.\u00a0\"Fast-Delivery-2015-CA9017-High-Quality-Long-Sleeve-font-b-Wicked-b-font-Evil-font-b\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

And here\u2019s an article<\/a> to help you make your Hallowe\u2019en unforgettable. Yes, \u201cdressing up as a witch for Halloween can be anything but basic.\u201d Get creative! \u201cThere are so many ways to channel your inner sorceress that will surely turn heads.\u201d These costume ideas all have names, like the \u201cCute Witch\u201d in a little black dress with plunging neckline, or the \u00a0\u201cRetro Witch\u201d which imagines a witch in 1950s style burlesque pin-up togs. That made me want to Google \u201cRetro Witch Costume\u201d and gosh, did I see a lot of lovely dresses. Some of them I\u2019d even consider wearing.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, folks, it\u2019s that time of year again. Pumpkin spice lattes, apple picking, wool sweaters, suede boots, black cats, broomsticks, and witches! Every year there seems to be an explosion of articles on the web about witches just in time for Hallowe\u2019en. While some of them profile actual witches, or take a look at folklore, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":995,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nIt's October: Get Ready for a Lot of Really Dumb Fashion Articles About Witches<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Well, folks, it's that time of year again. Pumpkin spice lattes, apple picking, wool sweaters, suede boots, black cats, broomsticks, and witches! 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