use as you desire<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>My father was a very angry, abusive man. Like most abusers, he could be a wonderful, loving, giving person \u2013 but once the switch was flipped, watch out. I have long since forgiven him for his abuse, and I have tried to understand his anger, with some positive results. I will admit, forgiving him was way easier then striving to understand his anger. As I looked back at my life, I would notice his anger manifested in his treatment of my Mother, myself, and my siblings [I come to believe this was one of his anger points, having seven children, he only wanted one, or two, at most].<\/p>\n
His abuse was physical, but I think the deepest scars were those coming from the emotional, and spiritual abuse. I can remember many times in my life where I hid from my father, many times I had my spirit crushed by him, and many times where I would walk away from a \u201cconversation\u201d emotionally bruised, and drained. On many occasions, he would justify his actions, and words, based on some twisted sense of reality. He would say things like [usually about my Mother], \u201cI told you to stop, I told you I was getting mad\u201d or, \u201cI warned her. I told her she didn\u2019t want to get me mad\u201d or, \u201cshe would not stop, I had to do what I did\u201d or, \u201cshe deserved what she got.\u201d Many times, his outbreak of anger, and abuse, centered around silly things like not having dinner ready when he got home [even though we never knew when he would come home]. He would breakout in rage if the food was not ready, or if it was cold \u2013 he was never pleased. So, when I hear certain words, certain phrases, a switch clicks on in my brain, and I hear the words of an abuser.<\/p>\n
When I read the words, \u201cShe was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted<\/em>\u201d [followed by a punishment] I hear my father\u2019s voice saying those words. Flash backs flood my mind, and in my spirit, I cry. It matters little as to the reason why those words were spoken, they are the words of a person seeking control, seeking to overpower the voice of another, someone they see as \u201cless;\u201d they are the words of an abuser.<\/p>\nIn Proverbs, we are reminded of where abusive language comes from<\/p>\n
Blessings accrue on a good and honest life,\u00a0but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse. [10:6 MSG]\u201d<\/p>\n
The mouth of a good person is a deep, life-giving well,\u00a0but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse. [10:11 MSG]<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I find words designed to show authority, or control, over another to be abusive; especially when that is the desire of the speaker\u2019s heart to show power, but even when it\u2019s not, it still hurts. You may say, \u201cHey, we need to honor authority\u201d \u2013 I agree, but not when that authority is abusive. Our words should be filled with grace, love, and understanding. If they are not, we should not speak.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So, when I hear certain words, certain phrases, a switch clicks on in my brain, and I hear the words of an abuser.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2697,"featured_media":998,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[122,3,121,11,123],"tags":[22,29,34,43,50,61],"class_list":["post-996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse","category-bad","category-discrimination","category-love","category-truth","tag-abuse","tag-care","tag-compassion","tag-forgiveness","tag-grace","tag-mercy"],"yoast_head":"\n
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