Bully<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0 If you have never seen it, it is available on Netflix.\u00a0 The movie looks at the bullying phenomenon through the eyes of several teenage \u201cvictims\u201d who attend schools scattered across the midwest. \u00a0I use the word \u201cdisturbing\u201d in reference to this film not just because it\u2019s difficult to watch defenseless kids being terrorized by bullies, but because it touches on a subject that hits very close to home for most guys.<\/p>\nOne particular moment in the film made my hair stand on end.\u00a0 After repeatedly enduring everything from threats of death, physical abuse, and name-calling that would make Mike Tyson cringe, a junior high student named Alex finally blows the whistle on his tormentors and tells his parents about his situation.\u00a0 In the midst of his harrowing confessional, Alex\u2019s mom asks him how the other kids make him feel.\u00a0 With tears in his eyes, this gentle, broken kid simply says, \u201cIt makes me<\/em> want to become the bully.\u201d<\/p>\nYou would be hard-pressed to find a man who doesn\u2019t relate to this sentiment, because nearly all of us have walked in Alex\u2019s shoes.<\/p>\n
When I was in junior high there were two (and only two) categories of dudes in my school.\u00a0 There were the bullies, and there were those who got<\/em> bullied.\u00a0 Not everyone was the target of daily afterschool beatings of course, but nearly all of us were traumatized in some way by a bigger, stronger, or more popular classmate. \u00a0And those of us who didn\u2019t have the stature, athletic prowess, popularity, or straight-up gaul to push others around were quietly envious of those who did\u2013if for no other reason than because the bullies were able to avoid having shards of their manhood stripped away in front of their peers.<\/p>\nThose difficult, teenage years of torment taught us something crucial about life as guys in this world\u2026<\/p>\n
You either punch or you get punched. \u00a0You either go on the offensive in life, or you get beaten down.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\nThese are the unspoken rules of our gender: We must, above all else, looking more impressive than the next guy. \u00a0Weakness is disgusting. \u00a0These rules also dictate that in order to get ahead we have to step on anyone in our path. \u00a0To be a man, you have to become Machiavellian in how you approach career, social standing, the opposite sex, and success in life itself. \u00a0And if you don\u2019t, and you will become the weak, the \u201closer.\u201d \u00a0Oh, and along the way you have to look \u201ccool\u201d even if it means making someone else feel less cool in the process.<\/p>\n
Many of us have carried these unspoken rules into adulthood.<\/p>\n
And in the process we have become impenetrable fortresses, never showing weakness, never hinting at so much as a hairline fracture in our armor, lest we become the objects of ridicule, just like we did when we were teens.<\/p>\n
Not all of us bear the obvious stamp of these mantras.\u00a0 But all of us have been subtly affected by them, at the very least.\u00a0 And this type of thinking has played a role in leaving us lost, empty, and purposeless.\u00a0 We lead double lives because we cannot possibly hope to mesh our real weaknesses and fears with our alleged, flawless exteriors.\u00a0 We are isolated, troubled, and our souls are crying out for a different philosophy of living.<\/p>\n
But, if we have truly been placed on this earth to step on others in an attempt to wring out as much material gain, popularity, and ego-stroking as possible in life, then why do we feel incomplete?\u00a0\u00a0If we are supposed to hide our true selves, our issues, and especially our flaws, why do we feel isolated?<\/p>\n
Because \u201cwinning\u201d in life involves something else entirely than these unspoken rules tell us.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s time we unlearn the lessons that were branded on our hearts by the traumatic experiences of our youth. \u00a0It\u2019s time we dig our fingernails into the reality that we were not created to be mini-Machiavellis, social capitalists, or cutthroat businessmen.\u00a0 We were not created to step on others to find our self-actualization on this planet. Jesus showed us that it is possible to be a true man without living for any of these things.<\/p>\n
We were made to be vindicators of the oppressed, rather than vessels of oppression. \u00a0We were made to be worshippers of a power greater than our own egos.\u00a0To find our purpose here is to admit that winning is losing, and losing is playing the game to win.\u00a0 To find our purpose here is to redefine the very rules that make us men.<\/p>\n
Our place is found here, together, in seeking truth that defies the spirit of this age.\u00a0 Our place is found here, becoming men who are united in vulnerability, character, and candid fellowship which offers a voice to the voiceless.<\/p>\n
Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. \u2013 Psalm 82:3<\/p>\n
Grab a copy of The Tin Soldiers<\/em><\/a>, my new book for men. \u00a0You can also get multiple copies for your small group at a discount.<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I just watched a vital, yet disturbing documentary film called Bully.\u00a0 If you have never seen it, it is available on Netflix.\u00a0 The movie looks at the bullying phenomenon through the eyes of several teenage \u201cvictims\u201d who attend schools scattered across the midwest. \u00a0I use the word \u201cdisturbing\u201d in reference to this film not just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1447,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-49","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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