ambiverts<\/a>.<\/p>\nSo rather than falling into the conversation of who has it worse or why being one way is better than another, we started asking ourselves how do both ways (all ways) serve our magic and our relationship.<\/p>\n
Gwion<\/i><\/b>\u00a0\u2013 Okay, no surprise here for those of you that know me. I\u2019m the extrovert. I am animated and gregarious. I\u2019ll talk to anyone about anything and I find that opens the doors for lots of unique experiences that we might normally miss. We\u2019ve been invited to places and events just because I showed some interest in what other people were passionate about. When it comes to the Pagan world, I\u2019m often willing to step in and step up in ways that Phoenix might feel less comfortable doing. Actually, to be really clear about that, I\u2019m willing to step in\u00a0<\/i>first<\/i>. My default comfort zone is to get in the middle of something and then see what\u2019s going on. Phoenix tends to step in and up too, she\u2019s just more cautious about it. In community spaces, I think it\u2019s important to recognize that some people will jump in right away and begin planning, start doing, taking on roles, and while that\u2019s admirable sometimes, it is equally valuable for those folks to sit on their hands and listen to what others have to say. Even if that takes a while for those other folks to speak up.<\/i><\/p>\n
Phoenix<\/b>\u00a0\u2013 This subject frustrates me to no end. Yes, I am an introvert, but that doesn\u2019t mean I hide away from taking on public roles, stepping into the center stage, or putting myself out there. I do like having these roles, but I can only handle being in the center or being in large groups of people for so long. The bottom line of this issue really comes down to how introverts and extroverts replenish. Extroverts get recharged when they are with other people. Too much time alone isn\u2019t good for extroverted people. This doesn\u2019t mean that they don\u2019t like to have time alone or they aren\u2019t happy to spend time by themselves, but when they are feeling overwhelmed being with other people can help settle them into a more comfortable place. On the other hand, introverts prefer to recharge on their own, by themselves. Too much time in a large group can become overwhelming and they need to take time away to recover from expending all that energy. And let\u2019s be clear these are not hard and fast rules, the lines blur and bend and change.<\/p>\n
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Gwion<\/i><\/b>\u00a0\u2013 One place it gets sticky for us is when we start associating and overlaying other words on top of extrovert. These words tend to be judgemental \u2013 \u201cEgocentric\u201d, \u201cshow off\u201d, and \u201cshiny\u201d are often used to describe extroverts and have definitely been used to describe me at certain points in my life. These words make the assumption that extroverts are only out for themselves and are shallow. I\u2019ve worked hard to show Phoenix that being extroverted doesn\u2019t equate with just seeking attention for attention\u2019s sake. In public Priestessing and community work, there\u2019s often a method to my madness. If my actions can empower others to take a risk, or show that occasionally being foolish and silly won\u2019t cause the sky to fall in, and\u00a0to show vulnerability and then remain open to the consequences of that, \u00a0it can help create space for others to try something new or difficult. One excruciatingly hard lesson I\u2019ve learned is the important distinction between saying, or being seen to be saying, \u00a0\u201cLook at me. Follow me\u201d as opposed to \u201cHow can we all participate in this together\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
Phoenix\u00a0<\/b>\u2013 Introverts in public covens or public ritual planners often find that they don\u2019t get recognition for the work that they do because those jobs aren\u2019t always obvious. Folks who do a lot of the \u2018behind the scenes\u2019 work rarely get seen for their hard work. It\u2019s like what happens in popular bands. Everyone knows who the lead singer is, they remember the front man, they are the one that everyone is watching, right? Most people don\u2019t know who the drummer is, or what he even looks like, and what would a band be without a drummer?! Extroverts will often jump in and volunteer without really thinking it through, while introverts need a little more time to make decisions. The meatiest public ritual roles can feel eaten up by extroverts before an introvert has even made up their mind on how they feel about it.<\/p>\n
Gwion<\/i><\/b>\u00a0\u2013 As\u00a0I\u2019ve\u00a0matured as a partner, a Priestess and a person, I find that I\u2019m less inclined to to extreme extrovertism. Now I\u00a0use my energy more wisely and tend to be \u201con 24\/7\u201d \u00a0much less than I used to be. When I do choose to put myself out there, I find it takes me more time to recharge and that\u00a0re-calibrating\u00a0tends to require more silence and alone time. In that way, I think I\u2019m\u00a0becoming more Ambiverted. I\u2019d also say that my daily practice and my understanding of the Iron Pentacle magic has greatly contributed to this. (more on Iron Pentacle in an upcoming blog!)<\/i><\/p>\n
Phoenix<\/b>\u00a0\u2013 Over the years I\u2019ve learned to become more extroverted by watching how the extroverts do it. I\u2019m more willing to take risks and speak up without totally thinking it through. Sometimes this is amazing and sometimes I freak out later. But when overwhelmed I would rather stay home and read a book than go out to a party and I can\u2019t imagining that changing much. And just like with all things, knowing how to be balanced and pay attention to the extremes will help create more harmony in group process and relationships.<\/p>\n
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When dealing with group process or public ritual planning, knowing where your cohorts might be on the introvert\/extrovert scale can be really beneficial in navigating the waters. Helping to bring introverts out (or make sure their voices are heard) and encouraging extroverts to make space for others will make your groups, covens, planning committees all the more stronger.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One of us is the most beautiful of social butterflies. The other is not. The extroverted one walks into a party and jumps right into the center, while the introverted one finds a nice corner to settle into. We are a good balance for each other in this way. The introvert reminds the extrovert to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2180,"featured_media":43,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,84],"tags":[23,22,85,4],"class_list":["post-41","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pagan-marriage","category-pagan-relationships","tag-extroverts","tag-introverts","tag-pagan-marriage","tag-pagan-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n
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