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<\/a>By and large, the Pagan community we\u2019ve come to know, is willing to have frank and open discussions about sex; which includes all of the assumptions, variations, and wonderful expressions that come along with those discussions. Most of us consider ourselves to be \u201csex positive\u201d. It\u2019s not that Pagans know something about sex that the over-culture doesn\u2019t and, for sure, there are plenty of problems within our communities that stem from coercive, power-over and plain creepy attitudes towards sex. However, thankfully, we find that the majority of Pagans are simply more available to engage with these edgy conversations than that of our non-Pagan friends.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve had all sorts of really wonderful late night chats with friends and beloveds about monogamy, polyamory, kink, queer culture (and sex), cis culture (and sex), trans culture (and sex), asexualism and so on. There are several words that often accompany these discussions \u2013 Agency. Consent. Boundaries.Communication. And because we are a sex positive community there can be a lot of assumptions, projections, and false ideas about who we are as individuals and as a Pagan couple, which can lead to hurt feelings, confusion, jealousy, and well, the awkwards.<\/p>\n
And this brings us back to the Iron Pentacle work that we\u2019ve both practiced for years. Sex is the first point on the Pentacle.<\/p>\n
Phoenix: <\/i><\/b>When the Sex point is out of balance it can turn into impotence or greed. When we are out of balance with sex, with life-force energy, when we are weakened from not being right-sized, it can feel like we have no control, we lack life force, we lack in everything. Life feels hollow and unfulfilling. And the other side of the same coin, when we are in an inflated state, we want more and more, nothing seems to satisfy our hunger or slake our thirst. Greed takes over and we want it all and only for ourselves. Sex is energy and being balanced in that energy feeds all the different aspects of your life, beyond intercourse.<\/i><\/p>\n
Gwion: <\/b>The iron Pentacle has, well, five points. The first of the five points is Sex. The over-culture tells us over and over again that sex is a commodity, that sex is supposed to be something we are ashamed of.<\/a> Too much and you\u2019re a slut, not enough and you\u2019re a prude or a failure. Working with the Iron Pentacle reminds me that sex, and more importantly, how and when and with whom I choose to share my sexual energy, is actually a birthright. The Sex point speaks to my own communion and union and self-expression without judgement from others. The Sex point moves beyond just the acts of sex and dwells within the deep reaches of the creative process , where ideas and magic are born.T. Thorn Coyle, <\/a>in their book \u201cEvolutionary Witchcraft<\/i>\u201d<\/a> recounts a well respected Reclaiming and Feri priest, when carrying the aspect of the Peacock God, saying \u201cMake love as the lightning strikes the earth and the earth rises up to meet the lightning.\u201d For me, that saying really sums up how I move in the world, how I create, how I bring myself to the projects I take on and I can only really rise up to meet the lightning when my Sex point is in balance.<\/p>\n Phoenix: <\/i><\/b>One of the things that I am constantly noticing in writing these posts with Gwion is how hard it is when we are out of synch. I want to write about roses, while Gwion wants to write about ferns. He is super stoked to get started on our next piece and I\u2019m just too tired to even think about it. This is similar to a sexual relationship, no? Being out of synch can have detrimental implications on a relationship, unless you learn how to work through them. Iron Pentacle is a tool for my own personal process. Being connected to my own Sex point helps me to feel secure in who I am and what I want. Being in right-size with my own sexual energy helps me to be more present and available to my partners and loved ones.<\/i><\/p>\n Gwion: <\/b>Phoenix talked about assumptions and projections that\u2019s an area we both have to stay vigilant about. We both teach and there\u2019s a certain glamour that comes with being a teacher. That glamour can bring wanted and unwanted attention. I like to think that I\u2019m very, very, very clear about where the boundaries are when I\u2019m teaching. It\u2019s critically important for my own sanity that I\u2019m crystal clear about the boundaries and agreements that Phoenix and I have about our relationship. As our relationship has grown over the years, we\u2019ve revisited what those agreements are and how we both operate within them. The Iron Pentacle work has been invaluable here too, as I can \u2018check in\u201d with myself, run the points of the pentacle and really see what\u2019s in and out of balance before having a lengthy conversation about needs, desires and boundaries.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n As we wrote this it became clear, over and over again, that communication is vital to a healthy sexual relationship. We can both individually do the work for our personal process, we can both feel in right-size with our personal Sex point, but if we aren\u2019t willing to share that with our partner it is kind of a waste of time. No matter how much we work on our inner landscape if we don\u2019t communicate those needs our relationship is doomed. This goes for overall relationship boundaries as well as asking our partner to move a little to the left, slow down, or Oh Yeah, right there.<\/p>\n We mentioned T. Thorn Coyle\u2019s book \u201cEvolutionary WitchCraft\u201d. There are other resources out there to learn more about the Iron Pentacle work. There are Reclaiming and Feri teachers that offer this work in a variety of formats all across the globe. And, of course, you can always ask us!<\/p>\n You can like our Facebook page at\u00a0<\/span>The Witches Next Door<\/a>. For more great articles visit\u00a0<\/span>Patheos Pagan<\/a>\u00a0on Facebook and like that page too . All you gotta do is click on those links.<\/span><\/em><\/strong> \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By and large, the Pagan community we\u2019ve come to know, is willing to have frank and open discussions about sex; which includes all of the assumptions, variations, and wonderful expressions that come along with those discussions. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2180,"featured_media":52,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,84,12,1],"tags":[3,85,4,10,5],"class_list":["post-50","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pagan-marriage","category-pagan-relationships","category-pagan-rituals","category-uncategorized","tag-iron-pentacle","tag-pagan-marriage","tag-pagan-relationships","tag-reclaiming","tag-sex"],"yoast_head":"\n
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