![\"photo\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/412\/2013\/08\/photo.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nWell, there was no Captain Steubing, and it was not the Love Boat, but we sure loved the boat that took us on vacation. \u00a0Here\u2019s a random re-cap.<\/p>\n
1. \u00a0No wi-fi and\/or texting is a blessing. \u00a0The end.<\/p>\n
2. \u00a0Just kidding!!! \u00a0There\u2019s more! \u00a0Angel (pronounced \u201cAhn-HELL\u201d) was our dinner waiter, and Marko was his assistant. \u00a0I learned halfway through the trip (and that was too late) that I should not ask Angel his opinion about more than one entree. \u00a0This is because he would proceed to bring me each. entree. \u00a0Five of us at the table, and we routinely had at least seven entrees on the table at one time. \u00a0By the end of the week it had progressed, we never arrived at dinner without at least one appetizer\u00a0already on the table<\/em> because he wanted us to have them, and it was not unusual for six or seven desserts to appear by the end.<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Related to #2 above, our rooms were on the 2nd deck. \u00a0The pool was on the 9th. \u00a0In an effort to stem the tide of flab resulting from #2, I did use the stairs almost exclusively. \u00a016 steps to get from one deck to the other. \u00a0Yes, I counted. \u00a0Thankfully, the nearest bar was on the 4th deck. \u00a0But even with that, I managed to log at least 20 flights of those steps every day. \u00a0Because ping-pong on the 9th deck, that\u2019s why.<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0Don\u2019t bother with the \u201cShopping Talk\u201d before you dock. \u00a0It is interminable, and almost exclusively about the jewelry you can buy in port. \u00a0As with Angel and entrees, I realized this way too late, and was already committed to hunting down a couple of really cute, but expensive watches. Once in Bermuda, I was on a mission, I tell you.<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0It\u2019s true what they say. \u00a0Unplugging from the internet truly does unclutter your mind. \u00a0Think about how much multitasking your brain must do \u2013 how many times it must change gears, simply going from one friend\u2019s FB status update to the next. \u00a0How many times do you click on a link they post to read about revolution in Egypt (of which I remained blissfully unaware)\u00a0to the next link of a cat wearing a shark costume riding a roomba<\/a>? \u00a0See? \u00a0I\u2019ll bet you just clicked on that link. \u00a0And now your brain has to go from being all cuted out by that cat to reading my blatherings about my vacation. \u00a0Or maybe you didn\u2019t come back\u2026did you come back? \u00a0COME BAAAAAAAACK!!!! \u00a0Darn it.<\/p>\n 6. \u00a0With my uncluttered mind, the only thing I could do between feeding my face and listening to the abundance of live music aboard was to either:<\/p>\n a. \u00a0read, or<\/p>\n b. \u00a0play Polar Bowler on my phone, since it was the only thing I could do on it that did not require internet.<\/p>\n Fighting the powerful pull of a polar bear shooting down a bowling alley made of ice, \u00a0I did manage to squeeze some reading in there. \u00a0Of an actual book. \u00a0With pages. \u00a0NOT on an electronic device.<\/p>\n 7. \u00a0Here, I\u2019m really letting my geek flag fly by confiding in you that the book I spent time reading was\u2026 \u201cGeorge Washington\u2019s War (The Saga of the American Revolution)\u201d by Robert Leckie<\/a>. \u00a0My dad gave it to me with high recommendations, and, well, what the hell, right? \u00a0Amazingly written, its sentences have craploads of information in each one, which required me to actually read things more than one time. \u00a0If you know me, that is NOT my style \u2013 I\u2019m kind of a speedy reader. \u00a0But I did read it slowly, and some of it several times over, because the writing was so beautiful and artistic.<\/p>\n It\u2019s also filled with frikkin hilarious\u00a0descriptions of the people in it. \u00a0Here\u2019s how he paints Augusta, mother to (future King) George III.<\/p>\n Although Augusta was not beautiful or gracious, but plain with a long neck and awkward long arms, she was nevertheless well endowed with an amplitude of Germanic charms, both before and behind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n In other words, bag the face, but she had tits and ass. \u00a0The book surprised me on a regular basis with stuff like that, and I\u2019m sure I raised a few eyebrows sitting by myself and snorting with laughter. \u00a0I only got to page 43 before vacation ended, but I will keep going, as I\u2019ve got a renewed affection for reading a book rather than reading a Huffington Post article or a Buzzfeed list.<\/p>\n 8. \u00a0Karaoke is hard. \u00a0No need to go into the sad, ugly details of that one.<\/p>\n 9. \u00a0It was fun, fun, FUN having my niece, Katie, and her friend, Danielle onboard the ship with us! \u00a0(They had tickets \u2013 we didn\u2019t smuggle them.)<\/p>\n 10. \u00a0Most of the ship\u2019s talent was extremely entertaining and skilled. \u00a0For example, one of the show nights had music by the decades, and the duo who sang \u201cBridge Over Troubled Waters\u201d brought tears to my eyes, literally. \u00a0However, some of the ship\u2019s performers lip-synced, which I found distracting and annoying. \u00a0And on a show night featuring Broadway music, I wanted to strangle whoever decided it was a good idea to\u00a0change the time signatures<\/em> of \u201cA Boy Like That\u201d from\u00a0West Side Story.<\/em> \u00a0Don\u2019t \u2013 DO NOT \u2013 mess with Bernstein\u2019s time signatures, is that understood? \u00a0Gah.<\/p>\n 11. \u00a0I break the rules when my kids aren\u2019t around. \u00a0One of the days in Bermuda Dave took them snorkeling, and I went to St. George to further geek out on history. \u00a0I walked all around by myself, taking in the whipping posts from the 1800s<\/p>\n and brick-lined streets, and ended up at the Unfinished Church at the top of a hill. \u00a0They began building it in 1874, and abandoned it when they ran out of money. \u00a0Anywho, there was a flimsy sign that told me not to enter,<\/p>\n but this other chick found a way in,<\/p>\n and her cab driver seemed unconcerned,<\/p>\n so, naturally, when she left I decided I couldn\u2019t go back to the boat without trying to get inside this place, either. \u00a0I slunked around the outside of the church, and finding this weak point that would allow entry, I began to climb.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I got a few scrapes, and landed a little harder than I would have liked, but I got in! \u00a0(Through the window behind me in the picture!)<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n It was pretty.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n