Ya Got to Have Friends...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Part Eight (and last for a while) of I-Don\u2019t-Know-How-Many in a series of posts inspired by \u201cMiss Representation.\u201d \u00a0If you haven\u2019t seen the trailer for\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theworthingtonpost\/2012\/01\/ya-got-to-have-friends\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ya Got to Have Friends...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Part Eight (and last for a while) of I-Don\u2019t-Know-How-Many in a series of posts inspired by \u201cMiss Representation.\u201d \u00a0If you haven\u2019t seen the trailer for\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" 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{"id":225,"date":"2012-01-24T23:36:51","date_gmt":"2012-01-25T03:36:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theworthingtonpost\/?p=225"},"modified":"2014-01-27T14:05:00","modified_gmt":"2014-01-27T19:05:00","slug":"ya-got-to-have-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theworthingtonpost\/2012\/01\/ya-got-to-have-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Ya Got to Have Friends…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Remember Donkey in \u201cShrek?\u201d \u00a0Now, I don\u2019t often look for wisdom out of the mouths of donkeys (insert liberal Democrat joke here\u2026) but when he\u2019s singing a Bette Midler song, I tend to take notice. \u00a0There\u2019s a theory that\u2019s been bouncing around in my mind for the last year or so, and I can\u2019t seem to separate it from the image of happy Donkey singing \u201cYa Got to Have Friends\u201d to Shrek. \u00a0Animated references aside, it seems appropriate to give voice to this theory in the blog series inspired by \u201cMiss Representation.\u201d \u00a0Yet, it\u2019s a tricky message because I imagine it will be easy to misinterpret \u2013 and here it is anyway.<\/p>\n

Minorities need friends in the majority.<\/strong><\/em> \u00a0I believe this applies to many facets of life, but generally, I am referring to the advancement basic human rights. \u00a0Overthrowing tyranny and abuse. \u00a0Moving civilization forward. \u00a0You know \u2013 the little things.<\/p>\n

I realize I\u2019m painting with very broad strokes here, but consider \u00a0history. \u00a0It\u2019s hard to find an instance where an oppressed minority group\u2019s advancement towards equality was not helped along by someone (or many) in the majority. \u00a0Emancipation. \u00a0Desegregation. \u00a0Women\u2019s Suffrage. \u00a0Establishment of Israel. \u00a0Repeal of Don\u2019t Ask, Don\u2019t Tell. \u00a0Were the minorities and\/or oppressed in these cases irrelevant or powerless in bringing the advancements to fruition? \u00a0Of course not \u2013 of COURSE not. \u00a0Au contraire. \u00a0But neither were they alone or singular in their efforts. \u00a0Somehow \u2013 somewhere along the way, in each of the cases mentioned above \u2013 their arguments, stories, actions, found a receptive heart and sympathetic ear of people in the majority. \u00a0And those in the majority whose eyes had been opened worked on behalf of those who had been wronged. \u00a0Then there was progress.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s very natural, when you\u2019re a member of a group that\u2019s been wronged to surround yourself with others like you, and assert your strength and independence as a group. \u00a0 \u00a0Cathartic. \u00a0Therapeutic. \u00a0Necessary. \u00a0And soooo easy to cross over to the \u201cStick it to the Man\u201d and \u201cRage against the Machine\u201d mentality. \u00a0We emphasize the \u201cus vs. them\u201d dynamic. \u00a0We are able to turn any problem adversarial. \u00a0(The more twisted ones actually get off on doing that, and shame on them.) \u00a0I can\u2019t think of a greater impediment to progress.<\/p>\n

We may feel we can go it alone \u2013 we don\u2019t need those bastards in the majority. \u00a0But we\u2019d be wrong. \u00a0If we don\u2019t need them now, we\u2019ll need them down the line, and we\u2019ll be happy to have a friend or two on the other side. \u00a0This is my argument against isolation, people. \u00a0For all the flaws in our government, the beauty of its infuriating design is that one side can hardly get anything done without the other. \u00a0 For all the flaws in our society, the brilliance of its survival lies in our ability to see value in other points of view.<\/p>\n

Forgive the inelegance of the argument (and my beating a dead horse,) but blacks needed whites to defeat Jim Crow. \u00a0Jews needed gentiles to establish Israel. \u00a0Gays and lesbians need straight people to be on their side and advance their cause. \u00a0The first female Justice to the U.S. Supreme Court was appointed by a man. \u00a0Everyone needs friends on the other side of the aisle, whether it\u2019s the aisle of Congress or the aisle separating men and women in an orthodox synagogue.<\/p>\n

I finally watched \u201cMiss Representation\u201d in its entirety. \u00a0I\u2019m trying to get it screened in Maryland. \u00a0Baltimore\u2019s mayor (Stephanie Rawlings-Blake)<\/a> is female, the longest-serving female U.S. Senator (Barbara Mikulski)<\/a> is from Maryland, yet our state hasn\u2019t yet had a screening. \u00a0How great would it be to fill a theater with people to watch this film? \u00a0Yet, the first question on my mind is, \u201cHow many men can we get to see this? \u00a0How many boys?\u201d \u00a0I desparately want women and girls to see this, too \u2013 to stoke the fires in their bellies and make them roar. \u00a0To impress upon them how dangerous complacency is and how fragile our hold on equality. \u00a0But I also want the men there. \u00a0Progress won\u2019t happen without them.<\/p>\n

Because believe me. \u00a0When a twenty-something-year-old waiter feels comfortable addressing my mother as \u201cdear,\u201d but my father as \u201csir,\u201d it is more obvious than ever that we have a loooooong way to go and a LOT of work to do.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"