{"id":1721,"date":"2017-11-16T00:04:40","date_gmt":"2017-11-16T04:04:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/?p=1721"},"modified":"2017-11-16T00:04:40","modified_gmt":"2017-11-16T04:04:40","slug":"i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Last Monday marked seven weeks from my father\u2019s death. In Zen this 49 day period marks an initial period of mourning<\/a>, where the departed spirit is said to make its way through a series of trials to its next destination.<\/a><\/p>\n

As it happened, a friend who is a talented and skilled Thai Bodywork therapist offered me a free session on that day.<\/p>\n

And so I come through a time of transition with the help of a friend.<\/p>\n

Regular readers know that the past year \u2014 year plus about a month and a half, actually \u2014 has been difficult for me. My mother was critically ill<\/a>; my dog Ringo dropped dead in front of me<\/a>; and my father, after being in and out of the hospital for months, passed away suddenly<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Through this time I\u2019ve been fortunate to have support from friends. Friends have helped cover my karate classes when I couldn\u2019t be there, have contributed to the GoFundMe we set up to help pay funeral expenses<\/a>, have offered food and comfort and hugs and prayers (which, despite being a naturalistic Pagan, I value).<\/a><\/p>\n

\"CCO<\/a><\/p>\n

Back in June, at the Free Spirit Gathering<\/a>, there was a karaoke session the night I arrived. After so many people had approached me my first few hours there to offer support and condolences on Mom\u2019s illness and Ringo\u2019s death, I wanted to say thank you. So I said, \u201cSome of you know that I\u2019ve been going through a rough spot. Here\u2019s a song about how we get through the tough times,\u201d and sang \u201cWith a Little Help from My Friends\u201d.<\/p>\n

And that was a hard thing for me to say. As someone who was bullied as a child and had to learn to stand on his own; and also as someone who takes pride in being one who helps, who provides aid<\/a> and steps into difficult situations<\/a>, it\u2019s hard to acknowledge that need for help.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s why one of the Three Treasures of Buddhism<\/a> is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists like me have dojo communities to fill that role. Pagans have covens and groves and circles. We need each other.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s another Lennon\u2013McCartney song that puts it well:<\/p>\n

When I was younger, so much younger than today
\nI never needed anybody\u2019s help in any way
\nBut now these days are gone, I\u2019m not so self assured
\nNow I find I\u2019ve changed my mind and opened up the doors\u2026<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Independence and interdependence are both true, a yin and yang pairing, a circular spiraling journey. We are conceived completely dependent on our mother, and dependent for others for years after birth. And some never develop past that dependent stage; but mature adulthood brings independence, the ability to stand on one\u2019s own.<\/p>\n

But if we reach that point, and continue to investigate and grow \u2014 many people don\u2019t, but if we do \u2014 we find that even in standing on our own, we rely on the support of the Earth. (Even the Buddha had to learn that<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

We come back around to seeing our dependence \u2014 our \u201cinterbeing\u201d, as some put it \u2014 on and with everything and everyone else, from the plants that breathe out the oxygen I breathe in to the woman who makes the take-out salad I buy for lunch.<\/p>\n

We exist only with the help of our friends.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1860,"featured_media":1730,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[712,8,3],"tags":[56,875,86,796,904,705,79],"class_list":["post-1721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-death-and-life","category-life","category-zen","tag-death","tag-dogs","tag-free-spirit-gathering","tag-mark-swiss","tag-sangha","tag-suzanne-swiss","tag-why-buddha-touched-the-earth"],"yoast_head":"\nI Get By With A Little Help From My Friends<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Zen Pagan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-11-16T04:04:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/560\/2017\/11\/hands-friendship.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"512\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Tom Swiss\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@tom_swiss\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Tom Swiss\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/\",\"name\":\"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-11-16T04:04:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-11-16T04:04:40+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a\"},\"description\":\"One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/\",\"name\":\"The Zen Pagan\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a\",\"name\":\"Tom Swiss\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Tom Swiss\"},\"description\":\"Tom Swiss describes his spiritual path as \\\"Zen Pagan Taoist Atheist Discordian\\\", which usually baffles questioners enough to leave him alone. Over the past decade he has built a reputation as a lecturer on subjects spanning the gamut from acupressure to Zen and from self-defense to sexuality. He is an NCCAOM Diplomate in Asian Bodywork Therapy, a godan (fifth-degree black belt) in karate, a poet, a singer\/songwriter, an amateur philosopher, and a professional computer geek. Tom has previously served as President of the Free Spirit Alliance. He is the author of \\\"Why Buddha Touched the Earth\\\" (Megalithica Books, 2013). Find out more about his wacky adventures at www.infamous.net.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/infamous.net\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/tom_swiss\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/author\/tswiss\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends","description":"One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends","og_description":"One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/","og_site_name":"The Zen Pagan","article_published_time":"2017-11-16T04:04:40+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":512,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/560\/2017\/11\/hands-friendship.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Tom Swiss","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@tom_swiss","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Tom Swiss","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/","name":"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website"},"datePublished":"2017-11-16T04:04:40+00:00","dateModified":"2017-11-16T04:04:40+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a"},"description":"One of the Three Treasures of Buddhism is the sangha, the community of seekers. Budo Zennists have dojo communities. Pagans have covens and groves and circles.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2017\/11\/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/","name":"The Zen Pagan","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a","name":"Tom Swiss","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Tom Swiss"},"description":"Tom Swiss describes his spiritual path as \"Zen Pagan Taoist Atheist Discordian\", which usually baffles questioners enough to leave him alone. Over the past decade he has built a reputation as a lecturer on subjects spanning the gamut from acupressure to Zen and from self-defense to sexuality. He is an NCCAOM Diplomate in Asian Bodywork Therapy, a godan (fifth-degree black belt) in karate, a poet, a singer\/songwriter, an amateur philosopher, and a professional computer geek. Tom has previously served as President of the Free Spirit Alliance. He is the author of \"Why Buddha Touched the Earth\" (Megalithica Books, 2013). Find out more about his wacky adventures at www.infamous.net.","sameAs":["http:\/\/infamous.net","https:\/\/twitter.com\/tom_swiss"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/author\/tswiss\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1860"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1721"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1721\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}