{"id":4186,"date":"2021-10-27T23:52:52","date_gmt":"2021-10-28T03:52:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/?p=4186"},"modified":"2021-10-28T09:16:23","modified_gmt":"2021-10-28T13:16:23","slug":"the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/","title":{"rendered":"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

One of the stranger bits of the mathematics of computer science is the idea that there are problems that cannot be solved.<\/p>\n

Technically this is known as the \u201chalting problem\u201d, and it\u2019s closely related to G\u00f6del\u2019s Incompleteness Theorem, which tells us that there are perfectly valid mathematical theorems which cannot be proven to be true. You can search out those topics on the internet if you want to know more about the math behind them, but what I\u2019d like to talk about here is the positive implication of this.<\/p>\n

It might seem that calling a problem impossible it an admission of defeat. But if an opponent is literally undefeatable, the closest thing to victory is to not engage in a fight with them. As Sun Tzu tells us<\/a>, \u201cHe will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.\u201d<\/p>\n

In software development, knowing that a problem is impossible keeps us from wasting time and effort on it. We can settle for a \u201cgood enough\u201d approximate solution, or do our best to avoid the issue. We know there is a boundary<\/a> to deal with, and so can stay in the territory where our efforts can productive.<\/p>\n

But this lesson applies outside of math and tech. The Japanese proverb shikata ga nai (\u4ed5\u65b9\u304c\u7121\u3044)<\/a> is an important example.<\/p>\n

\u201cShikata\u201d here means \u201ca way to do (something)\u201d, while \u201cga nai\u201d is a negating form, so literally \u201cthere is no way to do\u201d; a more useful translation might be \u201cthere is nothing to be done for the situation\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Torii at Kashuga Taishi Shine, Nara. Photo by the author.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In other words, the problem cannot be solved.<\/p>\n

This philosophy was widely discussed in the wake of the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and the Fukushima nuclear disaster<\/a>, with many American journalists amazed at the calm response, the lack of looting and violence that we might expect to see in the US after such a disaster.<\/p>\n

Of course this can lead to an unhealthy fatalism. We have to distinguish between acceptance of the facts, of what is, and learned helplessness<\/a> where a person (or other sentient being) stops trying even though success is within reach.<\/p>\n

The same Japanese culture that gave us \u201cshikata ga nai\u201d also gave us the famous exhortations \u201cganbatte!\u201d, \u201cdo your best!\u201d; \u201cosu!\u201d, to persevere<\/a>, and \u201cnana korobi, ya oki\u201d, \u201cif you fall down seven times, get up eight times\u201d.<\/a><\/p>\n

So the Japanese understanding of shikata ga nai not about abandoning useful efforts.<\/p>\n

Perhaps the attitude we need is captured in an old saw often misattributed to W.C. Fields<\/a>: \u201cIf at first you don\u2019t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There\u2019s no point in being a damn fool about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or if you prefer, you might think of it in terms of the \u201cSerenity Prayer\u201d popularized by twelve-step programs: \u201cthe serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

This has been of my mind the past few days because of my family situation<\/a>. Despite another major medical incident (a stroke this time, a heart attack last year) my brother has again refused to change his behavior, to go through rehab for his alcoholism; and my mother has again decided to let him come back to live with her rent-free, to continue to exploit her love.<\/p>\n

How can I stop this pattern of addiction and co-dependence? How can I make the people I love be healthy?<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t. Shikata ga nai. You can\u2019t solve the halting problem, you can\u2019t make someone love you, and you can\u2019t make the people you love do what\u2019s best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this.<\/p>\n

A sadness too, yes; but in the long run even more sadness \u2014 and anger and guilt \u2014 results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You can’t solve the halting problem, you can’t make someone love you, and you can’t make those you love do what’s best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness — and anger and guilt — results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1860,"featured_media":4189,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,8,5,3],"tags":[1385],"class_list":["post-4186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ethics","category-life","category-philosophy","category-zen","tag-shikata-ga-nai"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You can't solve the halting problem, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make those you love do what's best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness -- and anger and guilt -- results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You can't solve the halting problem, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make those you love do what's best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness -- and anger and guilt -- results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Zen Pagan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-10-28T03:52:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-10-28T13:16:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/560\/2021\/10\/tori-IMGP5991-1200.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"510\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Tom Swiss\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@tom_swiss\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Tom Swiss\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/\",\"name\":\"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-10-28T03:52:52+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-10-28T13:16:23+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a\"},\"description\":\"You can't solve the halting problem, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make those you love do what's best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness -- and anger and guilt -- results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/\",\"name\":\"The Zen Pagan\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a\",\"name\":\"Tom Swiss\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Tom Swiss\"},\"description\":\"Tom Swiss describes his spiritual path as \\\"Zen Pagan Taoist Atheist Discordian\\\", which usually baffles questioners enough to leave him alone. Over the past decade he has built a reputation as a lecturer on subjects spanning the gamut from acupressure to Zen and from self-defense to sexuality. He is an NCCAOM Diplomate in Asian Bodywork Therapy, a godan (fifth-degree black belt) in karate, a poet, a singer\/songwriter, an amateur philosopher, and a professional computer geek. Tom has previously served as President of the Free Spirit Alliance. He is the author of \\\"Why Buddha Touched the Earth\\\" (Megalithica Books, 2013). Find out more about his wacky adventures at www.infamous.net.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/infamous.net\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/tom_swiss\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/author\/tswiss\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai","description":"You can't solve the halting problem, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make those you love do what's best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness -- and anger and guilt -- results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai","og_description":"You can't solve the halting problem, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make those you love do what's best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness -- and anger and guilt -- results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/","og_site_name":"The Zen Pagan","article_published_time":"2021-10-28T03:52:52+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-10-28T13:16:23+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":510,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/560\/2021\/10\/tori-IMGP5991-1200.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Tom Swiss","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@tom_swiss","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Tom Swiss","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/","name":"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-10-28T03:52:52+00:00","dateModified":"2021-10-28T13:16:23+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a"},"description":"You can't solve the halting problem, you can't make someone love you, and you can't make those you love do what's best for them. And there is a freedom in knowing this. A sadness too; but in the long run even more sadness -- and anger and guilt -- results when we believe we can do the impossible, and fail.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/2021\/10\/the-serenity-of-shikata-ga-nai\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Serenity of Shikata Ga Nai"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/","name":"The Zen Pagan","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/e26f8c6f90ed1049d72923720f60d45a","name":"Tom Swiss","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/95c7748c3e583ce4717c93533454f214?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Tom Swiss"},"description":"Tom Swiss describes his spiritual path as \"Zen Pagan Taoist Atheist Discordian\", which usually baffles questioners enough to leave him alone. Over the past decade he has built a reputation as a lecturer on subjects spanning the gamut from acupressure to Zen and from self-defense to sexuality. He is an NCCAOM Diplomate in Asian Bodywork Therapy, a godan (fifth-degree black belt) in karate, a poet, a singer\/songwriter, an amateur philosopher, and a professional computer geek. Tom has previously served as President of the Free Spirit Alliance. He is the author of \"Why Buddha Touched the Earth\" (Megalithica Books, 2013). Find out more about his wacky adventures at www.infamous.net.","sameAs":["http:\/\/infamous.net","https:\/\/twitter.com\/tom_swiss"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/author\/tswiss\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1860"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4186"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4186\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4189"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/thezenpagan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}