The Battle Within

The Battle Within February 1, 2024

Girl struggle with her inner battle.
Close up of young woman struggling from mental breakdown.

I am standing at the edge of Condemnation’s precipice with no place to run or hide. Disappointment, Dread, Disgust, and Dishonor surround me. They circle me like hungry lions waiting to devour their prey. I’m vulnerable and weak with only Self Loathing and Unworthy by my side offering no comfort.

I can see Devastation and Overwhelm approaching with their poison arrows of doubt and destruction and I sink to my knees in surrender at each arrow’s penetration. Regret, Remorse, and Sorrow applaud. I deserve this anyway. Don’t I?

Handle With Prayer

As a last attempt at redemption, I lower my head to the ground and say a prayer even though Unworthy mocks me and Self-Loathing kicks me in the head and stomach. Afraid I may be forced off the precipice and fall to my death, I manage to squeeze out the tiniest of whispers, “Please send Peace and Grace if You are willing.”

Instantly, as if that small sound produced them, Peace and Grace joined me there in my place of self-defamation. Peace raises me to my feet, and I embrace Him hard burying my face in His chest breathing in His sweet fragrance. Tears of thankfulness and joy stream down my cheeks. Grace shields us from the accusing arrows as I attempt to hold back sobs of selfishness.

Trust is a Must

I have no idea how long I have been standing with Peace. But I don’t care. I wish this was the only place I would have to be for the rest of my life. I am drawn out of His embrace. As I lock eyes with Peace, I know that I am loved. I am safe. But most of all…

I am compelled to turn from Peace. I’m conflicted, not wanting to be separated from Him. I know I’m being asked to trust, but before I can muster enough strength to let go, I am standing face-to-face with Forgiveness. He reaches out and grabs my left hand and together we leave the precipice. Just a few steps later, I realize, Peace is holding my right hand. He never let go.

Romans 8: 1

Too often Unworthy and Self Loathing visit.

Knowing there is no condemnation in Jesus should indicate that the enemy is close, but I allow his poisoned arrows to strike and take hold. I take my eyes off Jesus and become an easy target.

The next time these two come knocking, I pray I can lock eyes with Jesus, put up my shield of Faith, and keep moving forward even if it feels like things are getting worse.

Sometimes our situation will worsen before it gets better and how we respond will determine how long our enemy will stay.

Don’t believe me? Read the book of Job. He loses everything but never fails to keep his eyes on Jesus. What a testament to true faith!

About Faith E. Richardson
Faith E. Richardson was born in Traverse City, Michigan. She lived there nine short years before moving with her mom to Fort Worth, Texas where she would remain for another eighteen years. After meeting Trent, the love of her life, they married and moved to Colorado where they raised their two children. Currently retired from decades of human resource work, Faith renewed her passion for writing. Her life experiences and dramatic flair for storytelling draw the reader in with thought-provoking material on the wonder and truth of spiritual encounters. It's her desire to get her readers as excited about the Holy Spirit as she is. You can read more about the author here.

Browse Our Archives