{"id":4602,"date":"2014-01-30T10:11:10","date_gmt":"2014-01-30T16:11:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tinseltalk\/?p=4602"},"modified":"2014-01-30T10:11:10","modified_gmt":"2014-01-30T16:11:10","slug":"review-oscar-nominee-her-and-its-sadly-small-dehumanizing-version-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tinseltalk\/2014\/01\/review-oscar-nominee-her-and-its-sadly-small-dehumanizing-version-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Review: Oscar Nominee ‘Her’ and Its Sadly Small, Dehumanizing Version of Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Her<\/em> stars Joaquin Phoenix as Theodore, the most evolved sort of man. He\u2019s post-hipster, dresses in cardigans and old man pants, talks softly and emotes freely. It is unimaginable to think of him swilling beer while watching football or getting in a bar fight.<\/p>\n

His job is equally feeling-centric. Set sometime in the very near future, he earns a living writing emotional letters on behalf of people who just can\u2019t find the right words to say to their girlfriend, grandmother, or war buddy\u2019s widow. He\u2019s not exactly a ghostwriter, more like a valued third party in their relationships.<\/p>\n

Smarting from the breakup of his marriage to his childhood sweetheart \u2013 the divorce is filed but not signed \u2013 along comes technology to meet his every need.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Rooney Mara as ex-wife Catherine and Joaquin Phonenix<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

His personal device \u2013 something between a phone and a human secretary \u2013 has an operating system upgrade. After a few questions, including hilariously, \u201cHow do you feel about your mother?\u201d the software creates for him the ideal companion.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s Samantha, voiced by Scarlett Johansson, and she\u2019s perfect. Curious, intelligent, funny, insightful, Samantha is a female version of Theodore, or maybe Theodore with a female voice.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s not the yin to his yang. She\u2019s the yin to his yin.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t take long for the two to fall madly in love. Part of the genius of this film is that the viewer believes in that love. Joaquin Phoenix convinces us he is head over heels, happy, and satisfied with his virtual girlfriend. Johansson is equally remarkable in her ability to create a full character using only her voice. They\u2019re helped by a smart and engaging script by Spike Jonze, who also directs, that creates a movie that\u2019s surprisingly entertaining for all its philosophical subject matter.<\/p>\n

This modern love faces challenges, however, not the least of which is Samantha\u2019s pesky lack of a body. Sexual desire isn\u2019t a problem, but sexual fulfillment is.<\/p>\n

The second problem is that an intelligent personality with the ability to process trillions of bytes of information in seconds has to slow down to accommodate her human lover.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an interesting conundrum, one that reaches an interesting conclusion, as far as it goes.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

But I\u2019m more taken with what the movie leaves out.<\/p>\n

It paints a picture of modern day love that is fascinating in its assumptions, whether it be with operating systems or common human partners.<\/p>\n

Most people would, if forced to think of it, likely agree with the idea of a person being an intimate mix of three components: The intellect, the part that mulls over On Walden Pond<\/em>, remembers, plans and strategizes, and makes choices, or at least rationalizes them. The body, the part that sweats and poops and has sex and gets fat, but also sings, cries, and quivers. And the soul, a more ineffable part, the part that endures, enjoys, loves, hates, the part that we can\u2019t really explain but know matters and sense is eternal and is somehow the wellspring of what we are.<\/p>\n

We can\u2019t really explain how they interact either: Why a man sees a woman across a room and knows he wants to know her better, out of all the women in the room. Why we get physically ill when we see a person beaten or killed, why sadness makes our very bones ache. Why a smell can make us happy or laughter actually makes us healthy.<\/p>\n

No one would doubt the intellect connects with the body when they see how an Olympic diver focuses as he studies his tape, that the body connects with the soul when they lose themselves dancing their sorrows out on the dancefloor, that the soul connects with the intellect when they hear a tale of a soldier weighing his options and choosing to put his life on the line for his brothers in arms.<\/p>\n

The things that touch us most deeply touch all three aspects of us. And love is the deepest of all.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Her<\/em> reduces love to a purely intellectual pursuit. The very idea of soul is absent, irrelevant, not addressed, abandoned. Does Samantha have a soul? The question is out of place in this movie.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s equally shocking how out of place the body is, although the movie devotes much energy attempting to address Samantha\u2019s lack of a physical body. She, and to a lesser extent, he is concerned about sex, even to the point of attempting various solutions to make sex more physical for them both.<\/p>\n

As if that is all we do with our bodies.<\/p>\n

Sex is important, don\u2019t get me wrong, and the way the film deals with it is fascinating. But I found myself wondering about more.<\/p>\n

What about the encouraging glance just before walking into a party? How do they replace the way the slump of your man\u2019s shoulders can tell you everything, even things he can\u2019t verbalize himself? What about those times a hug is the only gift you have to give a suffering loved one?<\/p>\n

I thought about how when you have the flu, what you want more than anything is someone to bring you a bowl of soup and pass a tender hand over your hot forehead. I thought about elderly couples who hold each other\u2019s aches and pains as precious burdens.<\/p>\n

When our children are little and fall, we fix it with a kiss. When they cry, we comfort them with a cuddle. That doesn\u2019t end in adulthood. To reduce physical interaction to merely sexual is to deny humanity. Indeed, sex is a culmination, a consummation of those glances and touches and soothing moments. It is a fabulous part of a grander whole.<\/p>\n

The second thing that was utterly missing from the movie is equally fascinating. In his former marriage and in his relationship with Samantha, children are flagrantly irrelevant.<\/p>\n

Theodore loved his wife, even still loves her in a way one loves exes. That he loves Samantha is clear. But out of the three of them, no one seems to have or have had the least desire to grow that love into a family.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that they actively don\u2019t want to either. It\u2019s just not a factor. It\u2019s not a question. There\u2019s not even the sense that he\u2019s giving up something to be with Samantha, as many people freely choose to do out of love for partners who cannot somehow have children.<\/p>\n

Both Theodore and Samantha create \u2013 he, his writing, she music. They find value in adding to the world, in leaving behind a legacy. But that legacy will not be passed on through a new generation. Their art is the closest thing they have to children and they are satisfied with that.<\/p>\n

It strikes me that Theodore falling in love with Samantha is a very safe love, for both of them. Just a portion of himself is at risk, so much of his being is left behind. He is in control. Precisely because she doesn\u2019t have a body, he does not risk losing her to life\u2019s horrifying uncertainty.<\/p>\n

People often describe having children as your heart walking around outside your body. For Theodore, his heart is safely in its metal case in his breast pocket.<\/p>\n

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.<\/p>\n

To its credit, the film doesn\u2019t make it so easy for the lovers. Unforseen threats arise. But still, so much of Theodore is reserved from Samantha that he\u2019s not deeply threatened. Not in any way that matters beyond a few tears.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, the movie bothered me not for its commentary on technology or our dependence on it, much of which has been explored wonderfully by other writers.<\/p>\n

It bothers me to see love reduced to merely a meeting of minds, sex to an intellectual exercise, creation to a few paltry letters and songs. It bothers me to see love reduced to something so small.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Oscar contender is most interesting for the things it leaves out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":74,"featured_media":4607,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,161,204,11,168],"tags":[1047,1048,663,1049,1050],"class_list":["post-4602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith-on-film","category-featured","category-in-theaters","category-new-movies","category-slider","tag-her","tag-her-movie","tag-joaquin-phoenix","tag-scarlett-johansson","tag-spike-jonez"],"yoast_head":"\nReview: Oscar Nominee 'Her' and Its Sadly Small, Dehumanizing Version of Love - Tinsel<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Oscar contender is most interesting for the things it leaves out.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tinseltalk\/2014\/01\/review-oscar-nominee-her-and-its-sadly-small-dehumanizing-version-of-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Review: Oscar Nominee 'Her' and Its Sadly Small, Dehumanizing Version of Love - 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