The Epistle of James warns that it\u2019s crucial for gossips to mind their tongues.<\/p>\n\n
\u201cIf we put bits into the mouths of horses \u2026 we guide their whole bodies. Look at the ships also; \u2026they are guided by a very small rudder,\u201d notes the third chapter. \u201cSo the tongue is a little member and boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Now let us turn to the third chapter of Van Halen.<\/p>\n\n
\u201cRudder of ship, which sets the course,\u201d sings Gary Cherone, the rock superband\u2019s new vocalist and lyricist. \u201cDoes not the bit, bridle the horse? Great is the forest, set by a small flame. Like a tongue on fire, no one can tame.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Here\u2019s why I bring this up. Every year, I mark this column\u2019s anniversary \u2013 this is No. 11 \u2013 by sifting through 12 months of odds and ends (mostly odds). All the biblical allusions in \u201cVan Halen 3\u201d got me to thinking about the Gospel Music Association\u2019s struggles this year to determine what songs would be eligible for Dove Awards. At least 13 entries \u2013 notably Sixpence None the Richer\u2019s \u201cKiss Me\u201d and Michael W. Smith\u2019s \u201cLove Me Good\u201d \u2013 were ruled to be lacking in clearly Christian lyrical content.<\/p>\n\n
So why didn\u2019t Van Halen get a Dove? What could be better than rockers singing words out of the New Testament? The \u201cspecial thanks\u201d notes inside the disc even included a nod to super-Calvinist theologian R.C. Sproul.<\/p>\n\n
Here\u2019s some more samples from my \u201cOn Religion\u201d files.<\/p>\n\n
* The Ship of Fools web site offered a letter from a Toronto church where the pastor had to print two funeral leaflets in one day. He used his software\u2019s search-and-replace function to turn a service for a parishioner named Mary into one for a parishioner named Edna. All was well, until worshippers hit the creed, which now said that Jesus was conceived by the Holy Ghost and \u201cborn of the Virgin Edna.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* A Christianity Online editor shared how his 3-year-old recited the Lord\u2019s Prayer solo at bedtime. She ended with: \u201cAnd lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. Amen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* After my \u201cTitanic\u201d columns, a California friend sent me a prospectus for \u201cTitanic II.\u201d It\u2019s set in heaven and Rose is in counseling, because lover Jack is mad that he only knew her for three days and her husband wants to know why a 60-year marriage meant so little to her. Meanwhile, people who didn\u2019t get in lifeboats are upset with those who did. Folks who spent their lives looking for the jewel are furious. Everybody has to spend eternity listening to \u201cMy Heart Will Go On.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* The Episcopal Diocese of Dallas created an appropriate Lenten gift for traffic-stricken drivers \u2013 a black, purple and white bumper sticker of the Jesus Prayer: \u201cLord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* Last summer I was eating breakfast in the cafeteria underneath the U.S. Supreme Court. I popped open my cranberry juice and found this under the lid: \u201cArt, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere \u2014 Gilbert Keith Chesterton.\u201d Yes, and what about law?<\/p>\n\n
* Who says the religious left doesn\u2019t believe in absolutes? \u201cA vote against impeachment is not a vote for Bill Clinton,\u201d said legal scholar Alan Dershowitz. \u201cIt\u2019s a vote against bigotry. It\u2019s a vote against fundamentalism. \u2026 It\u2019s a vote against the right-to-life movement. It\u2019s a vote against the radical right. This is truly the first battle in a great culture war. And if this president is impeached, it will be a great victory for the forces of evil \u2014 evil \u2014 genuine evil.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* During an outdoor memorial concert for the Princess of Wales, David Hasselhoff of \u201cBaywatch\u201d prayed for her to stop the rain. It stopped. Meanwhile, National Review notes that the stone inside the shrine for Diana reads: \u201cWhoever is in distress can call on me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* Many have heard the one about the Zen master who asked a hot-dog vendor to \u201cmake me one with everything.\u201d One reader noted that, after handing over a $20 bill, the Zen master waited and waited and then asked: \u201cWhere\u2019s my change?\u201d The vendor replied: \u201cChange must come from within.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Epistle of James warns that it\u2019s crucial for gossips to mind their tongues. \u201cIf we put bits into the mouths of horses \u2026 we guide their whole bodies. Look at the ships also; \u2026they are guided by a very small rudder,\u201d notes the third chapter. \u201cSo the tongue is a little member and boasts […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":610,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n