How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb? <\/p>\n\n
Answer: \u201cOne to change the bulb and 16 million to boycott the maker of the old bulb for bringing darkness into the church.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
And on the left, how many United Church of Christ members does it take? Answer: \u201cHow dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light style?\u201d <\/p>\n\n
There are zillions more ecclesiastical light-bulb jokes where those came from and Carmen Renee Berry heard plenty while writing \u201cThe Unauthorized Guide to Choosing a Church.\u201d How many Catholic nuns does it take to change a light bulb? Episcopalians? Calvinists? United Methodists? Pentecostals? Members of the non-instrumental Churches of Christ?<\/p>\n\n
Behind the jokes is a serious issue. According to her \u201cmeticulous count, there are exactly 29816 gazillion denominations to choose from.\u201d What are consumers supposed to do, throw darts at the Yellow Pages?<\/p>\n\n
Berry has been there and done that. Over the years, she said, \u201cI met a variety of \u2018believers\u2019 \u2014 incense burners and Bible thumpers; charismatic hand wavers, 12-steppers and genuflectors; priests, pastors and prayer warriors; militant social justice demonstrators and right-wing activists; and lots of theologians who were straight, gay, male, female, fighting for purity and fed up with the status quo \u2014 a varied spectrum of people all living under the umbrella of the \u2018church.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve listened to, and argued with, them all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Berry was raised in the conservative Church of the Nazarene and, in the end, found her way back into a small flock of Nazarene progressives. But her searching taught her things. She knows she is allergic to incense. She can dress Presbyterian. She can tell Mennonites from the Amish. And she learned that she is not alone in this search.<\/p>\n\n
\u201cPeople want to make a faith their own,\u201d said Berry, a former social worker who is best known for writing the bestseller \u201cGirlfriends.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
\u201cThey don\u2019t want to go to a church just because they were born into it. \u2026 They want to authentically express their own spirituality. They want to find that congregation that will help them find their own way, their own path.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
It doesn\u2019t help that most religious groups keep changing \u2014 in terms of doctrine and style. There are Baptists writing documents that look like creeds or confessions. There are Catholics who pick and choose what to believe in the catechism. There are Presbyterians who don\u2019t think hell and predestination matter anymore and Methodists who think evangelism is cultural imperialism. <\/p>\n\n
Next door, there are fundamentalist churches that are as old-fashioned as ever, while others show movie clips in between the offerings of their hard-rock worship bands. There are flocks that use incense, candles and ancient rites while the priests sound like Oprah. <\/p>\n\n
Berry openly argues that seekers must start by knowing their own needs and biases. She, for example, avoids churches that do not accept women as clergy. She learned to avoid churches \u2014 on the left and right \u2014 that \u201cengaged in group-think\u201d on politics. She found that vital small-group ministries were crucial. <\/p>\n\n
She also found that she does not need a church with ironclad teachings on heaven and hell. She doesn\u2019t want to get tangled up in today\u2019s fierce debates about sexuality and marriage. Those issues are not at the top of her personal list, she said. <\/p>\n\n