Religious folks sure get nervous when public officials talk about \u201cfundamentalist\u201d gunmen invading a school.<\/p>\n\n
Consider what happened recently after a staged emergency at Burlington Township High School in New Jersey. The police script for the drill called for armed men to crash the front doors, shoot several students and barricade themselves in the library with hostages. This document, according to the Burlington County Times, described the intruders as part of \u201ca right-wing fundamentalist group called the \u2018New Crusaders\u2019 who do not believe in the separation of church and state.\u201d The two gunmen attacked because a child had been expelled for praying.<\/p>\n\n
For some reason, evangelical pastors became alarmed. Thus, local officials and educators released a statement saying they regretted \u201cany insensitivity that might have been inferred\u201d by this scenario, including any offense taken by those who \u201cinferred\u201d that the mock terrorists were Christians.<\/p>\n\n
I have no idea why pastors \u201cinferred\u201d that organizers of this tax-funded drill had in any way suggested that \u201cright-wing\u201d fundamentalists in a \u201cNew Crusaders\u201d army opposed to the \u201cseparation of church and state\u201d and angry about a \u201cschool prayer\u201d dispute might be conservative Christians.<\/p>\n\n
No way. Why would anyone \u201cinfer\u201d something like that?<\/p>\n\n
I\u2019ve said it before and I\u2019ll say it again: Boredom is rarely a problem for journalists on the religion beat. That\u2019s why I mark this column\u2019s anniversary every year \u2014 this is No. 18 \u2014 by offering a grab-bag collection of strange stories that I didn\u2019t have the chutzpah or the time to cover during the previous 12 months. So hang on.<\/p>\n\n
* During holiday seasons, I get all kinds of email and often it\u2019s hard to tell when people are joking. For example, I received an copy of \u201cThe Two-Minute Haggadah: A Passover service for the impatient.\u201d It condensed the rite\u2019s pivotal four questions to this:<\/p>\n\n
(1) \u201cWhat\u2019s up with the matzoh?\u201d (2) \u201cWhat\u2019s the deal with horseradish?\u201d (3) \u201cWhat\u2019s with the dipping of the herbs?\u201d (4) \u201cWhat\u2019s this whole slouching at the table business?\u201d The answers? \u201c(1) \u201cWhen we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.\u201d (2) \u201cLife was bitter, like horseradish.\u201d (3) \u201cIt\u2019s called symbolism.\u201d (4) \u201cFree people get to slouch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* No joke. The KFC restaurant chain did ask Pope Benedict XVI to bless its new \u201cFish Snacker\u201d product, which the company said would be \u201cideal for American Catholics who want to observe Lenten season traditions while still leading their busy, modern lifestyles.\u201d Apparently, the pope declined.<\/p>\n\n
* Try to imagine the media response if President George W. Bush ended a United Nations address with a call for the second coming of his Messiah and pledged to help this apocalypse happen sooner rather than later.<\/p>\n\n
Would this make headlines? Thus, I was surprised when Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad drew little fire when he ended his fall U.N. speech by saying:<\/p>\n\n
\u201cI emphatically declare that today\u2019s world \u2026 above all longs for the perfect righteous human being and the real savior who has been promised to all peoples and who will establish justice, peace and brotherhood on the planet. O, Almighty God, all men and women are your creatures and you have ordained their guidance and salvation. Bestow upon humanity that thirsts for justice, the perfect human being promised to all by you, and make us among his followers and among those who strive for his return.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* Candid religion quote of the year? Asked by Vanity Fair if she is a Christian, columnist Ann Coulter replied: \u201cYes, sort of a mean Christian.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* Church PR efforts are getting edgier. An Episcopal parish in New Jersey issued a \u201cMessage to Disaffected Roman Catholics\u201d proclaiming that many \u201cwhose spiritual lives are grounded in the Mass and in the sacraments are, nevertheless, unable to concur with the Vatican\u2019s position on issues such as the role of women in the church, contraception, remarriage of divorced person, homosexual relationships, or abortion. \u2026 If you are among them, you may find a comfortable spiritual home at Grace Church in Newark.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
* In a list of 100 men and women who are \u201ctransforming our world,\u201d Time editors included 27 \u201cartists and entertainers,\u201d 16 \u201cscientists and thinkers\u201d and many other powerful people. However, the list included only three religious leaders. This is the planet earth we are talking about, right?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Religious folks sure get nervous when public officials talk about \u201cfundamentalist\u201d gunmen invading a school. Consider what happened recently after a staged emergency at Burlington Township High School in New Jersey. The police script for the drill called for armed men to crash the front doors, shoot several students and barricade themselves in the library […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":610,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[226,1534,444,460,503,667,846],"class_list":["post-1433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-church-state-separation","tag-evangelicals","tag-humor","tag-iran","tag-lent","tag-pope","tag-terrorism"],"yoast_head":"\n