Every month, 1,300 U.S. pastors are fired or forced to resign.<\/p>\n\n
Nearly 30 percent of ministers have been terminated at least once. In a decade, 40 percent of today\u2019s pastors will be in another line of work. Seventy percent say they have no close friends.<\/p>\n\n
The numbers don\u2019t improve at home. The divorce rate for U.S. pastors is up at least 65 percent in 25 years. More than a third admit to \u201cinappropriate sexual behavior\u201d with church members. Eighty percent say their work has a negative impact at home. One in three goes even further, saying the pastorate has been a \u201chazard\u201d to their families.<\/p>\n\n
\u201cIn other words, they wish somebody had stuck a warning label on the bottom of their seminary diploma,\u201d said Simon J. Dahlman, editor of a new bimonthly magazine called \u201cPastor\u2019s Family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
It\u2019s been said many times: the pastorate is a high calling but can be a hellish job. Also, most parsonages have glass walls. In one revealing 1992 statistic, 94 percent of ministers said they feel pressured to have an \u201cideal family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
\u201cWhen you hear that you have to ask, `OK, what is an `ideal family\u2019 for a pastor?\u2019 We\u2019ll need to do a story on that,\u201d said Dahlman, who has been both a pastor and a journalist. \u201cBut it\u2019s not enough to ask some ministers, `What is an `ideal family?\u2019 We\u2019ll have to ask lay people, `What do YOU mean when you say your pastor should have an `ideal family?'\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Thousands of families live somewhere between these high expectations and the realities of their lives. The team at Focus on the Family that created \u201cPastor\u2019s Family\u201d seriously considered using a more aggressive name, \u201cSanctuary,\u201d with its implications that clergy families literally need a place to hide. \u201cBalance\u201d also has become a key word.<\/p>\n\n
\u201cWe keep hearing people talking about how hard it is \u2026 to find a healthy balance between what they owe the church and what they owe their families,\u201d said Dahlman. \u201cIt\u2019s like they\u2019re up on a wire and they keep falling off.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Pastors\u2019 families face all of the problems faced by others \u2014 everything from adultery to problem children, workaholism to tight finances. But the fact that church staff members also \u201cwork for God\u201d brings unique pressures. God may issue \u201cdivine callings,\u201d but human beings sign paychecks and do job evaluations.<\/p>\n\n
Meanwhile, church trends keep rewriting the job descriptions of ministers and those who work for them. Many pastors never expected to serve as chief executive officers and lack the skills to do so. Small-church pastors face higher expectations as their flocks ask to receive the same variety of services as megachurches. It\u2019s a buyer\u2019s market.<\/p>\n\n
Excellent journals already exist to help clergy improve their preaching and administrative skills, said Dahlman. \u201cPastor\u2019s Family\u201d will stick to marriage, parenting, time management, home finances and other domestic issues. Instead of a technical article on preaching, it might offer advice on how to preach during a family crisis or whether to tell family stories in the pulpit. A cartoon in the first \u201cBetter Homes & Parsons\u201d page shows a couple in bed. He says, \u201cI hope you didn\u2019t mind me telling that funny little anecdote about you in my sermon,\u201d while she is poised to smack him in the head.<\/p>\n\n
But more serious issues lurk everywhere. Another cartoon shows a preacher reading a scribbled note that says: \u201cDear Dad, I Aksidantly Burnt Your Surman, Love Sana.\u201d The caption: \u201cAt 11:25 a.m. Sunday, June 30, Pastor Smedes discovers that he has been neglecting his youngest daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
Ministers aren\u2019t perfect and they don\u2019t have the option of living in a perfect world or working with perfect churches, said Dahlman. Some of that pain and sin will come home with them.<\/p>\n\n
\u201cPastors see it all. They see humanity at its best and at its worst,\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019s going to affect their families, one way or another. If we\u2019re going to try to help pastors\u2019 families, we\u2019d better put out a magazine that\u2019s honest and forthright. If not, they\u2019re going to laugh us off the face of the earth.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Every month, 1,300 U.S. pastors are fired or forced to resign. Nearly 30 percent of ministers have been terminated at least once. In a decade, 40 percent of today\u2019s pastors will be in another line of work. Seventy percent say they have no close friends. The numbers don\u2019t improve at home. The divorce rate for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":610,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n