{"id":8537,"date":"2013-04-11T12:56:40","date_gmt":"2013-04-11T17:56:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tonyjones\/?p=8537"},"modified":"2015-03-13T16:44:43","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T21:44:43","slug":"marriage-changes-dont-believe-me-look-it-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/tonyjones\/2013\/04\/11\/marriage-changes-dont-believe-me-look-it-up\/","title":{"rendered":"“Marriage” Changes. Don’t Believe Me? Look It Up."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\n<\/p>

<\/p>\n

On a flight last week, I sat next to a conservative Pentecostal<\/a> pastor. We talked about demons and miraculous healings. And, probably to the consternation of those around us, argued vociferously about \u201cmarriage.\u201d He was, like so many conservative evangelicals these days, in favor of civil unions for GLBT persons. But not \u201cmarriage.\u201d No, \u201cmarriage\u201d is something totally different, he told me.<\/p>\n

Of course, he\u2019s wrong. \u201cMarriage\u201d is nothing more than a word, composed of an assortment of letter \u2014 symbols with correlated vocal sounds. The definition of that word has changed since it was first used in English, and it changed over time in the many other languages that preceded English.<\/p>\n

We invest words with meaning. That\u2019s exactly what he\u2019s hoping to do with the combination of words, \u201ccivil\u201d and \u201cunion.\u201d He wants that combo to mean something, and \u201cmarriage\u201d to mean something else. That\u2019s fine. But to suggest that the meaning that we\u2019ve invested in the combination of letters m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e is almost shockingly naive.<\/p>\n

Take Geoff Nunberg, the linguist for NPR\u2019s Fresh Air. His most recent commentary<\/a> is about how dictionaries are dealing with the on-the-ground changes to the word, \u201cmarriage\u201d:<\/p>\n

Lexicographers know they\u2019re on the hot seat as they confront the changing uses of the word. When Merriam-Webster revised its definition a few years ago, it went with a two-state solution. It kept an older definition for \u201cmarriage\u201d as \u201cthe state of being united to a person of the opposite sex,\u201d but it added a second definition as \u201cthe state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of traditional marriage.\u201d Not surprisingly, that triggered headlines like \u201cWebster\u2019s Redefines Marriage\u201d on conservative websites.<\/p>\n

Merriam\u2019s insisted that it had no political agenda; it was just describing the language as it was actually being used. But the entry is a train wreck, which is what\u2019s apt to happen when you try to move forward while looking over both shoulders at the same time. That second definition doesn\u2019t describe the way anybody uses the word. Gays and lesbians aren\u2019t claiming the right to a recognized relationship \u201clike traditional marriage.\u201d They\u2019re talking about marriage without an asterisk, which is one reason why public opinion has shifted so rapidly in their favor. And the cultural right isn\u2019t about to sanction any use of the M-word for same-sex couples. The one thing both sides agree on is that whatever definition you give to \u201cmarriage,\u201d there had better be just one of them<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

He then writes about how the Encarta dictionary solved the problem differently, and more forthrightly. Nunberg concludes,<\/p>\n

\u201cMarriage\u201d is more than a label to both sides. Words tend to pick up the flavors of the broth they\u2019ve been steeping in: They\u2019re surrounded by customs and prescriptions that seem to infuse their very meanings. When I hear somebody using a word in a new way, it can sound more like a usage error than a challenge to my unexamined notions. I had to do a little mental stutter-step the first couple of times I heard a gay friend talking about his husband. Until I realized, \u201cOh, I see \u2014 it\u2019s just the guy in a marriage, the same as it ever was.\u201d<\/p>\n

But there has never been an age that was so quick or adept at making these adjustments. We spent the 1990s tacking \u201cvirtual\u201d and \u201ccyber\u201d onto the names of what seemed like new kinds of things. Then we spent the next one taking the prefixes off again, as we realized that the new things were fundamentally the same as the old ones. \u201cI have to get some e-money from my virtual bank so I can play cyber-poker\u201d \u2014 that sounds so 1997. How long before \u201cgay marriage\u201d sounds equally quaint?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Don\u2019t let someone tell you that marriage has just one definition that has never changed. And don\u2019t let them tell you that \u201ccivil union\u201d can replace \u201cmarriage\u201d in the legal\/governmental realm. Instead, fight for equality and be part of the evolving definition of the word.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On a flight last week, I sat next to a conservative Pentecostal pastor. We talked about demons and miraculous healings. And, probably to the consternation of those around us, argued vociferously about \u201cmarriage.\u201d He was, like so many conservative evangelicals these days, in favor of civil unions for GLBT persons. But not \u201cmarriage.\u201d No, \u201cmarriage\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,17,32],"tags":[262,1054],"class_list":["post-8537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christianity-in-america","category-glbt","category-same-sex-marriage","tag-gay-marriage","tag-same-sex-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\n"Marriage" Changes. Don't Believe Me? 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