{"id":1829,"date":"2018-04-27T11:34:09","date_gmt":"2018-04-27T15:34:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/troublerofisrael\/?p=1829"},"modified":"2018-04-27T22:51:22","modified_gmt":"2018-04-28T02:51:22","slug":"my-christian-sisters-and-the-pence-rule-why-aimee-byrd-is-misreading-scripture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/troublerofisrael\/2018\/04\/my-christian-sisters-and-the-pence-rule-why-aimee-byrd-is-misreading-scripture\/","title":{"rendered":"My Christian Sisters and the Pence Rule (Why Aimee Byrd Is Misreading Scripture)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Aimee Byrd from the Mortification of Spin podcast has written a new book<\/a> challenging the core idea behind the so-called \u201cMike Pence rule\u201d (or \u201cBilly Graham rule,\u201d as it was originally called). For those unfamiliar with the term, the Pence rule is the personal practice some Christian men have adopted of never eating, drinking, or spending alone time with an unrelated woman. A woman might also practice the rule in reverse. So, whether in business settings, church counseling, or friendships, men who practice this rule will always make sure to have a third party present when meeting with women other than family members.<\/p>\n

The idea is to avoid not only temptation, but also the appearance of impropriety and the possibility of false accusations, especially in the wake of numerous high-profile sexual harassment scandals, when such charges abound. For example, even if you never do or say anything inappropriate in unsupervised meetings with members of the opposite sex, he or she can still accuse you of doing so. What now? It\u2019s a he-said-she-said situation, and unless witnesses to separate incidents come forward to corroborate the charges against your character, no one can know for sure. You will take an inevitable hit on some level in the eyes of many. You will be Justice Clarence Thomas.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Feminists haven\u2019t responded well to this renewed interest in a kind of principled segregation of men and women. They\u2019ve attacked it as oppressive to women, essentially disadvantaging them in the workplace. Even Christians have railed against the rule. Writing in the New York Times Katelyn Beaty called it the \u201csanctified cousin\u201d of Harvey Weinstein-ian sexual harassment. Byrd favorably quotes Beaty in the Twitter rollout for her new book, \u201cWhy Can\u2019t We Be Friends?\u201d (subtitle: \u201cAvoidance is Not Purity\u201d). Elsewhere, she aims her own rhetorical volleys at the Pence rule, describing it<\/a> as \u201cpickpocketing purity, stealing unearned virtue at the expense of another\u2019s dignity.\u201d<\/p>\n

The difficult thing for the Aimee Byrds of the world is how current events seem to recommend the Pence rule more highly with each passing day. The resignation of Chicago megachurch pastor Bill Hybels over allegations of sexual misconduct (several women are accusing him of inviting them onto his private yacht and into his hotel room and talking crudely), only seems to reinforce the need for calculated distance between men in ministry and the women they serve\u2013for the protection of both parties.<\/p>\n

Byrd doesn\u2019t see it that way. Writing in First Things<\/a>, she renews her call for godly, one-on-one friendships between the sexes, and insists that \u201cby putting up fences, we foster an individualistic, self-protective morality.\u201d She sees this message as \u201cantithetical to our Christian anthropology,\u201d and calls readers to \u201cprotect one another from abusers, not from godly friendship.\u201d<\/p>\n

At the root of Byrd\u2019s Christian anthropology is a particular reading of verses like 1 Timothy 5:2, where Paul instructs the younger overseer not to rebuke older men, but to appeal to them as fathers, and likewise treat older women as mothers and younger men and women as brothers and sisters \u201cin all purity.\u201d<\/p>\n

Byrd concludes from this that \u201cOur status as brothers and sisters in Christ is foundational to how we treat one another in God\u2019s household and interact with all men and women made in his image.\u201d And that means no precautionary fences like the Pence rule.<\/p>\n

In her podcasts and interactions on social media, she\u2019s made it clear how literally she takes the \u201cbrothers and sisters in Christ\u201d metaphor. If intimate, one-on-one interactions with our biological brothers and sisters aren\u2019t a threat to our marriages, Byrd argues<\/a> that neither should intimate, one-on-one interactions with Christian siblings be a threat.<\/p>\n

How do we reconcile this with the fact that we sometimes feel attraction for Christians of the opposite sex which we do not feel for our biological siblings? Byrd thinks we should (and can) simply transmute these desires into platonic, spiritual love. She approvingly quotes Archbishop Joseph Chaput, who says:<\/p>\n

\u201cGiven the strength of the sexual desires we all feel, rightly acting on those desires is a key part of maintaining purity. For single people and celibates \u2026 it means offering those desires up to God and seeking to channel them in our love and service for others.\u201d<\/p>\n

Elsewhere Byrd writes that while we are sexual beings, \u201cour sexuality doesn\u2019t merely express itself in the physical love making that a wedded couple exclusively shares. Our sexuality also expresses itself in brother and sisterhood as we relate to everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

In short, Byrd believes we shouldn\u2019t be restraining or mortifying our sexual desires for brothers and sisters in Christ, but \u201crightly acting on\u201d and \u201cexpressing\u201d them in non-sexual ways. If she explains how, precisely, this is done, I have not seen it (and her book is not yet available). In her views so far expressed, we should behave no differently with Christian siblings than we would with our actual, biological brothers and sisters. That means not only keeping our relationships with opposite-sex Christians pure, but refusing to \u201cput up fences\u201d that get in the way of deep friendships with each other. Fences like the Pence rule.<\/p>\n

Byrd believes the New Testament backs her up on this. But do the biblical uses of \u201cbrothers and sisters in Christ\u201d language really bear the load she places on them?<\/p>\n

Setting aside the places in the Gospels where Jesus refers to all believers as His \u201cbrothers,\u201d and \u201csisters,\u201d as well as the gender-neutral rendering of \u201cadelphoi<\/i>\u201d and its derivatives, the 1 Timothy verse is one of only two places where \u201cbrothers and sisters in Christ\u201d language is used in the New Testament. The other is James 2:15, in which James writes that if one sends \u201ca brother or sister\u201d away hungry and naked, his profession of love is dead.<\/p>\n

In interpreting these passages we need to pay attention to context. 1 Timothy 5:2, for example, appears in the context of rebuke, as given to an overseer (Timothy). Paul is saying, \u201crespect your elders as if<\/em> they are your literal parents, and your juniors as if<\/em> they are your little siblings. Don\u2019t chew them out, treat them as you would your family. Appeal to them and patiently instruct them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Right away we should notice something: The thing Paul is condemning here isn\u2019t prudential barriers between men and women, but harshness and disrespect by ministers in correcting members of their flock. Thus, to use the metaphor (and \u201cbrothers and sisters in Christ\u201d is a metaphor, more on that in a moment) to break down all natural and biological barriers between people is a misapplication, in context.<\/p>\n

The concept that all Christians are siblings is only one of many scriptural metaphors for the Church. We are also collectively the bride of Christ (Eph. 5:32, Rev. 19:70), the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:27), a nation of co-laboring priests (1 Peter 2:9), sheep (John 10:27-28) and branches on the vine (John 15:5). Obviously, no one takes these instructive figures in their natural sense, or tries to work out their implications beyond the contexts in which they appear (if they did so, many of these metaphors would contradict each other. We cannot be Christ\u2019s body in the most literal sense, since His resurrected body is at the right hand of God the Father \u2013 Acts 7:55-56, Rom. 8:34, Eph. 1:20, Col. 3:1, etc.). We cannot be both His bride and his siblings, in the natural sense, for obvious reasons.<\/p>\n

These metaphors are all meant to deepen our understanding of a single theological reality: our union with Christ and consequent union with one another in Him. To use them in ways not explicit (or at least implicit) in their context is to mishandle Scripture.<\/p>\n

For example, my wife is my \u201csister in Christ,\u201d metaphorically speaking. To be precise, the spiritual union I share with her in the Gospel is of exactly the same sort as the spiritual union I share with all Christian women, excepting that I, as her husband, also have a unique role in imaging Christ to her, per Ephesians 5). This does not mean, however, that I should behave toward her in the same way I would naturally behave toward my two biological sisters. Far from! In addition to my metaphorical relationship with my wife as spiritual sibling, I also have a natural relationship with her (which, in Christ, is sanctified for a supernatural purpose: namely, a marital and sexual relationship which visibly portrays the mystery of Christ and His Church).<\/p>\n

Byrd\u2019s categorical mistake should be getting clearer, now. The grace of union in Christ does not abolish or supersede the natural distinctions of male and female, husband and wife, brother and sister. It adds to and sanctifies them. Given her apparent reading of the sibling metaphor as abolishing or superseding the biological realities that make close male-female friendship so fraught, it\u2019s fair to ask why she doesn\u2019t follow liberal theologians in taking Galatians 3:28 (\u201cThere is neither Jew nor Greek\u2026slave nor free\u2026male and female\u201d) as an abolition of all natural distinctions between the sexes within the church. Does Byrd (who is an otherwise conservative Protestant) support female presbyters and pastors? If not, why not? There is, after all, \u201cneither male nor female\u201d in Christ Jesus!<\/p>\n

The answer, of course, is that she does not. She rightly recognizes the abolition of distinctions between male and female as pertaining only to the context in which this figurative statement appears. Jesus does not make an end of men and women. We are still gendered beings. We will be so for eternity! The liberal theologians who take this metaphor too literally are wrong.<\/p>\n

But Jesus does make an end of the divide that kept women out of the Holy of Holies, which kept them from having direct, sacramental access to God, which kept them from receiving the sign of the covenant, and which kept them women first, and members of God\u2019s people, second. Through our union with Christ, we have a more perfect union with one another than was ever possible before.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, grace doesn\u2019t destroy nature. In becoming brothers and sisters, my wife and I do not cease to be man and wife. In becoming equal members of the household of God, males and females do not cease to be males and females. And in becoming brothers and sisters in Christ, unrelated men and women do not cease to be natural candidates for sexual partnership. Even after we are married, members of the opposite sex do not lose their allure. Introducing safeguards to maintain holiness and purity with our spiritual siblings (as Paul instructs) and just as importantly, fidelity to our covenant spouses, is not the \u201csanctified cousin of Weinstein-ian abuse,\u201d or a method of \u201cpickpocketing purity.\u201d How silly. It is a recognition that the family of redemption incorporates rather than erases families of creation. It is most of all an acknowledgement that we are not yet perfect, that we still suffer from indwelling sin, and that we are still in peril of acting in ways that defile both nature and grace.<\/p>\n

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Aimee Byrd from the Mortification of Spin podcast has written a new book challenging the core idea behind the so-called \u201cMike Pence rule\u201d (or \u201cBilly Graham rule,\u201d as it was originally called). 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