So my problem with covenant marriage has always been that I don\u2019t see how it gets around exactly the gender-power-dynamic problems that we see in not allowing divorce in the first place. If covenant marriage becomes popular in Christian communities, what I see happening relatively quickly is the emergence of two norms: that \u201conly slutty girls want a non-covenant marriage\u201d and \u201ca non-covenant marriage means you aren\u2019t really committed to your partner.\u201d<\/p>\n
At that point, plenty of couples will become locked into problematic relationships (emotionally abusive, financially abusive, or even emotionally or intellectually shallow and unsatisfying \u2013 essentially, all the reasons we leftists like the availability of divorce normally)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Given the higher barriers to divorce, the strongest objection to covenant marriage is the possibility of abuse, particularly abuse against women. \u00a0I can rattle off some of the legal provisions of covenant marriage (it allows for divorce in the case of domestic violence, it does not prevent partners from living\u00a0separately), but I agree that it\u2019s\u00a0easy to imagine how conservative communities could use this kind of marriage as a weapon against women.<\/p>\n
In fact, the reason these consequences are so easy to imagine is because they already happen. \u00a0The groups that are most likely to abuse covenant marriage are already <\/em>abusing modern marriage. \u00a0No-fault divorce doesn\u2019t stop misogynistic men from coercing women to stay in abusive marriages. \u00a0Whether or not covenant marriage is popular, women (and some men!) in abusive marriages will still be in danger, and plenty of\u00a0resources\u00a0still need to directed to battered women\u2019s hotlines and shelters. \u00a0Plenty of outreach still needs to be done to help educate people to signs of abuse, so they can intervene to help others.<\/p>\nBut we do not need to use exceptional (and horrifying) cases as the grounding for our definition of marriage. \u00a0 \u00a0We want to lower the barriers to exit for people who are being abused, not for everyone. \u00a0The goal is to balance protective measures for one group against the effects of the legal system for everyone else.<\/p>\n
Ultimately,\u00a0I\u2019m not pitching covenant marriage to conservative Christians, but to atheists and liberals like me. \u00a0(I\u2019ll have another post on why I think covenant marriage is bad<\/em> or, at best, neutral for Christians up tomorrow afternoon). \u00a0For us, I believe increased interest in covenant marriage has the potential to do a great deal of good.<\/p>\n
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