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<\/a><\/div>\nThanks for all the responses to my post this weekend asking for advice on RCIA and the tone of the blog <\/a>.\u00a0 Tomorrow, I\u2019ll be returning to the ongoing series<\/a> about Diane Duane\u2019s Young Wizard<\/em>s books and what they\u2019ve taught me about religion, but I wanted to take a break today to deal with some questions Saturday\u2019s post brought up.<\/p>\n Kevin<\/a> brought up a problem that goes to the heart of the blog and one that I\u2019ve heard before.<\/p>\n This kind of argumentation just isn\u2019t what makes people religious. Despite the way some Catholics talk, religion first and foremost isn\u2019t a matter of theology. Theology\u2019s kind of an afterthought, icing on the religious cake. I have full confidence that the Christian religion can hold up to any dialectical challenges that are brought against it, and I have a great personal interest in intellectual questions of that nature. But if you were to ask me why I\u2019ve continued in the faith, theological dialectics would have very little to do with it.<\/p>\n And so this whole blog, on my view, has been rather missing the point. But it\u2019s not really your fault \u2014 the real reasons for faith are hardly the sort of thing that can be easily hashed out in a comment box. A confessional box, maybe.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Kevin makes a fair point.\u00a0 I certainly won\u2019t be so arrogant as to claim that the apologetic works I\u2019ve read<\/a> comprise all possible defenses of Christianity, or that I\u2019ve necessarily read them so well as to justifiably be unconvinced.\u00a0 The fact remains, though, that I find them unconvincing.\u00a0 And the more I read and remain unconvinced by, the more likely it is that the next book or argument will also leave me unconvinced.<\/p>\n At this point, I do doubt I can be argued into Christianity, which leaves only some kind of experiential miracle in God\u2019s arsenal, as far as I can tell.\u00a0 Jen Fulweiler of Conversion Diary<\/a> has some advice for atheists or agnostics as part of her post \u201cFinding God in 5 Steps<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n Do the Experiment <\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n I believe that God\u2019s existence can be \u201cproven\u201d in a certain sense, as long as you understand that God = Love<\/a>, and what you\u2019re trying to prove is Love itself. This is not something you can know about from analyzing data or reading books alone. To get the \u201cproof\u201d that you seek, you must enter the laboratory of your heart, and actually conduct the experiment: live, for a while, as if God did exist. Pray. Follow the Ten Commandments. Show love and kindness to everyone, even your enemies. Read the Bible. Give God the thanks and honor and respect you would show him if he did exist. As Pascal suggested<\/a>, just try it for a while, and see what happens.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I can\u2019t claim to have lived up to these instructions perfectly.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been attending Mass weekly for about six months, reading apologetics, talking to priests and a deacon, and even trying prayer for Lent (unsuccessfully, natch).\u00a0 Obviously, my scientist heart is frustrated that Jen\u2019s experiment is open-ended.\u00a0 There\u2019s no amount of time I could spend living her experiment to refute the premise; it only \u2018works\u2019 if I convert.<\/p>\n I\u2019m curious what devout Christians would tell me to do rather than\/in addition to blogging.<\/p>\n