{"id":3503,"date":"2012-06-11T18:06:02","date_gmt":"2012-06-11T22:06:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/?p=3503"},"modified":"2013-01-16T01:12:16","modified_gmt":"2013-01-16T06:12:16","slug":"companionate-marriage-for-everyone-blogathon-1012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/2012\/06\/companionate-marriage-for-everyone-blogathon-1012.html","title":{"rendered":"Companionate Marriage for Everyone? [Blogathon 10\/12]"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

This post is number ten of twelve for the Secular Student Alliance Blogathon. \u00a0I\u2019m responding to comments in the \u201cGo Ahead, Tell Me What\u2019s Wrong with Homosexuality<\/a>\u201d thread all day. \u00a0You can read an explanation of the Blogathon and a pitch for donations (even if you\u2019re religious) here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Alan Jacobs had an interesting response to the Noah Millman piece<\/a> about the gay Mormon\u2019s companionate marriage<\/a> I was discussing in the last post<\/a>. \u00a0Jacobs wrote<\/a>:<\/p>\n

What this story is pointing to is the possibility of personally chosen, not arranged, marriages built around a kind of regard for one another that is not primarily erotic, in the narrower sense. Here the key word is \u201cintimacy.\u201d These people married each other because they loved each other and wanted to share deep intimacy, but that intimacy was not characterized primarily by sexual passion. And yet the couple insists that they have a strong sexual relationship. The really interesting thing about the story has nothing to do with homosexuality, but with the possibility that our society has the logic of attraction all backwards: we start with sexual desire and hope to generate other forms of intimacy from that, but this model suggests that it could make more sense to start with the kind of intimacy that is more like friendship than anything else, and to trust that sexual satisfaction will arise from that.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think this is a new idea, but it feels new. When we read Jane Austen novels we think that the attraction between the protagonist and her beau had to have been primarily sexual but the topic just couldn\u2019t be broached in those prudish days, but what if that\u2019s just our narrowly sexual cultural formation talking? Maybe we need to think more seriously about the Weed family as a model for others \u2014 and not just for people who, as we Christians often say, \u201cstruggle with same-sex attraction.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I think I endorse this. \u00a0But I\u2019ve only recently started trying to abandon my gnostic disdain for the physical world, so I may not be trustworthy.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This post is number ten of twelve for the Secular Student Alliance Blogathon. \u00a0I\u2019m responding to comments in the \u201cGo Ahead, Tell Me What\u2019s Wrong with Homosexuality\u201d thread all day. \u00a0You can read an explanation of the Blogathon and a pitch for donations (even if you\u2019re religious) here. Alan Jacobs had an interesting response to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":127,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196],"tags":[171,11,164],"class_list":["post-3503","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage-2","tag-blogathon","tag-lgbt","tag-sex-and-sexuality"],"yoast_head":"\nCompanionate Marriage for Everyone? 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