{"id":6564,"date":"2013-01-06T19:58:51","date_gmt":"2013-01-07T00:58:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/?p=6564"},"modified":"2013-01-06T19:58:51","modified_gmt":"2013-01-07T00:58:51","slug":"the-criminal-justice-system-touched-by-radical-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/2013\/01\/the-criminal-justice-system-touched-by-radical-forgiveness.html","title":{"rendered":"The Criminal Justice System, Touched by Radical Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

In today\u2019s\u00a0NYT Magazine<\/em>, there\u2019s an amazing story about forgiveness and the criminal justice system<\/a>. Conor McBride shot his longtime girlfried Ann Grosmaire, and, after her death, her parents kept up their relationship with him.<\/p>\n

Four days later, Ann\u2019s condition had not improved, and her parents decided to remove her from life support. Andy says he was in the hospital room praying when he felt a connection between his daughter and Christ; like Jesus on the cross, she had wounds on her head and hand. (Ann had instinctually reached to block the gunshot, and lost fingers.) Ann\u2019s parents strive to model their lives on those of Jesus and St. Augustine, and forgiveness is deep in their creed. \u201cI realized it was not just Ann asking me to forgive Conor, it was Jesus Christ,\u201d Andy recalls. \u201cAnd I hadn\u2019t said no to him before, and I wasn\u2019t going to start then. It was just a wave of joy, and I told Ann: \u2018I will. I will.\u2019\u201d Jesus or no Jesus, he says, \u201cwhat father can say no to his daughter?\u201d<\/p>\n

When Conor was booked, he was told to give the names of five people who would be permitted to visit him in jail, and he put Ann\u2019s mother Kate on the list. Conor says he doesn\u2019t know why he did so \u2014 \u201cI was in a state of shock\u201d \u2014 but knowing she could visit put a burden on Kate. At first she didn\u2019t want to see him at all, but that feeling turned to willingness and then to a need. \u201cBefore this happened, I loved Conor,\u201d she says. \u201cI knew that if I defined Conor by that one moment \u2014 as a murderer \u2014 I was defining my daughter as a murder victim. And I could not allow that to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

She asked her husband if he had a message for Conor. \u201cTell him I love him, and I forgive him,\u201d he answered. Kate told me: \u201cI wanted to be able to give him the same message. Conor owed us a debt he could never repay. And releasing him from that debt would release us from expecting that anything in this world could satisfy us.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The article goes beyond the personal feelings of the family, to talk about restorative justice<\/a> \u2013 an extra-legal system that brings victims, perpetrators, and members of the community together to share their feelings and make\u00a0consensus\u00a0recommendations for sentencing. \u00a0Think of it as a small scale truth and\u00a0reconciliation\u00a0commission. \u00a0I really recommend reading the whole piece.<\/p>\n

I was especially touched by Kate Grosmaire\u2019s comment that forgiving Conor helped her let go of the idea that anything was going to compensate her for the loss of her daughter. \u00a0The court system is focused on justice, which can cause confusion and turmoil when true justice and peace is beyond the power of the courts to fine or imprison. \u00a0Better to admit that the civil law can help with deterence and safety, but can\u2019t grant peace to the bereaved.<\/p>\n

I was reminded of the\u00a0New Yorker\u00a0<\/em>piece about a soldier seeking forgiveness from the family of a civilian he shot in Iraq<\/a>, where the author noted that we lack traditions and rituals of forgiveness. \u00a0Restorative justice seems like a good start for secular society.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In today\u2019s\u00a0NYT Magazine, there\u2019s an amazing story about forgiveness and the criminal justice system. Conor McBride shot his longtime girlfried Ann Grosmaire, and, after her death, her parents kept up their relationship with him. Four days later, Ann\u2019s condition had not improved, and her parents decided to remove her from life support. Andy says he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":127,"featured_media":6566,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[19],"class_list":["post-6564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-morality-in-practice","tag-radical-forgiveness"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Criminal Justice System, Touched by Radical Forgiveness<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In today's\u00a0NYT Magazine, there's an amazing story about forgiveness and the criminal justice system. 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