{"id":91,"date":"2011-07-05T11:12:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-05T11:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/2011\/07\/lets-talk-about-privilege\/"},"modified":"2012-10-13T18:47:18","modified_gmt":"2012-10-13T22:47:18","slug":"lets-talk-about-privilege","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/2011\/07\/lets-talk-about-privilege.html","title":{"rendered":"Let&#8217;s Talk About Privilege"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/unequallyyoked\/ideological-turing-test-contest\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">The Turing Test is ongoing<\/a> (two more entries going up today, and more through the week), but I want to interrupt that for a second to try to talk about privilege and sexism one more time. In the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.unequally-yoked.com\/2011\/07\/sexism-among-skeptics.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">two<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.unequally-yoked.com\/2011\/07\/handling-sexism-among-skeptics.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">posts<\/a> about Rebecca Watson\u2019s experience at an atheist conference, some discussions about whether women are being \u2018oversensitive\u2019 when we talk about privilege got tangled up in disputes over the way Rebecca had called out the people she disagreed with. Let me give a different example (that hasn\u2019t been picked over by the entire atheist blogosphere).<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-5uO1J8193I4\/ThMoe967usI\/AAAAAAAABfo\/y_bKN1h0Hi4\/s1600\/Police-Car-Lights-GOOD.JPG.jpeg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-5uO1J8193I4\/ThMoe967usI\/AAAAAAAABfo\/y_bKN1h0Hi4\/s320\/Police-Car-Lights-GOOD.JPG.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\" border=\"0\"><\/a><\/div>\n<p>If I were driving at night and\/or along a fairly deserted and isolated road (in some alternate universe where I have a driver\u2019s license) and a patrol car came up behind me, turned on the siren, and indicated I should pull over, I wouldn\u2019t put on the brakes. I\u2019d try to find and pull into an actual police station or fumble around with my cell phone to call 911, explain where I was and what my car looked like, and ask the operator to confirm I was being followed by a real police car.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d need to do this because pulling someone over with fake police credentials is a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wtsp.com\/news\/local\/story.aspx?storyid=139008\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">strategy<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.news.com.au\/national\/fake-cop-attacks-woman-driver\/story-e6frfkvr-1225939259419\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">used<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wndu.com\/home\/headlines\/88996057.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">by<\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.greenvilledragnet.com\/man-impersonating-cop-rapes-woman\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">rapists<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Now, here\u2019s what\u2019s <em>not<\/em> happening when I respond this way:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> rooting for the cop to actually be a rapist, so I can feel smug<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> acting this way because I hate cops, or men generally<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m <em>not<\/em> assuming that a majority of pull-overs are prelude to rape, it\u2019s just a <em>significant enough<\/em> risk that I\u2019d rather not run it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019s what would happen if I learned how to drive, got into this situation, pulled over obediently, and was sexually assaulted:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A lot of people would say I was irresponsible or stupid.<\/li>\n<li>A lot of people would ask why I was out late at night on lonely streets in a car by myself.<\/li>\n<li>Some people would wonder if it were consensual, because wouldn\u2019t I have been able to overpower a big guy if I <em>really<\/em> didn\u2019t want to have sex with him?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Most guys don\u2019t think through all these outcomes when they get the pull over signal, because men think from the privileged position of not being the primary target of rape. They are not living in a country that puts most of the onus of avoiding sexual assault on <em>them<\/em>.<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IzEKWyiTAMs\/ThMowOjO_AI\/AAAAAAAABfs\/C7k1cPnLymw\/s1600\/unattended+drink.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/1.bp.blogspot.com\/-IzEKWyiTAMs\/ThMowOjO_AI\/AAAAAAAABfs\/C7k1cPnLymw\/s320\/unattended+drink.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"246\" border=\"0\"><\/a><\/div>\n<p>The precautions women are expected to take to avoid assault can look jarring and antisocial.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>Have to leave early so I can walk home before it gets dark<\/em><br>\n<em>Can\u2019t pick up that drink again now that I turned my back on it<\/em><br>\n<em>Don\u2019t want to get in an elevator alone with that guy now that it\u2019s so late<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>And because it\u2019s oversensitive or aggressive or man-hating to talk about these precautions openly or to take them in an attention-drawing way, what we\u2019re actually expected to do is to take the appropriate precautions subtly so that we don\u2019t offend the sensibilities of people around us. That\u2019s crazy, oppressive, and unacceptable in any circumstance.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, that\u2019s why I disagree with <a href=\"http:\/\/friendlyatheist.com\/2011\/07\/02\/everyone-needs-to-calm-the-fuck-down\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Hemant Mehta, who thinks the whole discussion is an unnecessary distraction<\/a>, and commenter Kogo who wrote:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Yeah, and this is why I refuse to engage in \u2018privilege\u2019 discussions: Because it is always derailing. It is ALWAYS a person who wants to commandeer an organization or effort to do NOT the thing it was actually engaged in doing and to instead endlessly pursue his or her sub-goal. Nothing would make privilegists happier than for atheists to say, \u201cWe give up atheism and will instead now become solely and eternally a privilege-discussion group.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve seen this happen. I watched a previously focused, decently organized housing reform group fall apart over this.<\/p>\n<p>Privilege is real. And it is also a complete derailment. If you \u2018want to talk about privilege\u2019, *form your own goddam space to do it.*<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The space I am using is this one, because this is where I live and deal with the problem. And I doubt the guys who are erring through ignorance or malevolence would follow me over to a separate privilege discussion group. I\u2019m using this space because I don\u2019t think I\u2019m obligated to fight sexism in secret to avoid making a scene.<\/p>\n<div class=\"separator\" style=\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-Pul8GA3_HTo\/ThMpRFI-3eI\/AAAAAAAABfw\/M1Wq8PVu4ls\/s1600\/behind+fan.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/-Pul8GA3_HTo\/ThMpRFI-3eI\/AAAAAAAABfw\/M1Wq8PVu4ls\/s320\/behind+fan.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"170\" height=\"256\" border=\"0\"><\/a><\/div>\n<p><strong>And the idea that I shouldn\u2019t bring my woman-problems into neutral-space\u2013where ordinary people don\u2019t worry about rape\u2013is exactly what it sounds like when privilege is talking.<\/strong><br>\n<strong><br>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Added by request: the <a href=\"http:\/\/sindeloke.wordpress.com\/2010\/01\/13\/37\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">best allegory of privilege<\/a> available online.<\/em><\/p>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/4256452356987023523-1851040068198774467?l=www.unequally-yoked.com\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\"><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Turing Test is ongoing (two more entries going up today, and more through the week), but I want to interrupt that for a second to try to talk about privilege and sexism one more time. In the two posts about Rebecca Watson\u2019s experience at an atheist conference, some discussions about whether women are being [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":127,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[38],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-morality-in-practice","tag-feminism-and-the-family"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Let&#039;s Talk About Privilege<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Turing Test is ongoing (two more entries going up today, and more through the week), but I want to interrupt that for a second to try to talk about\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link 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