\u201cLove is the spirit of this church, and service is its law.\u201d So begins a well-beloved passage adapted from the words of the Rev. James Vila Blake, a Unitarian Universalist minister in Evanston, Illinois. These words are often spoken in the life of our faith. Several of the congregations I\u2019ve served spoke them communally every week as part of their worship.<\/p>\n
When we say certain words or phrases over and over again, there are several possible effects. One is that our brains tune out the repeated stimulus. I suspect most schoolchildren have this kind of relationship with the Pledge of Allegiance. But another effect of saying things repeatedly is that they become deeply engrained into who we are. Are the words of this statement engraved into the souls of those who speak them?<\/p>\n
\u201cLove is the spirit of this church.\u201d This is a powerful statement. If it is true, and we all hope that on some level it is true, it obliges us not only to walk together in love, but to think deeply about what it means for us to love.<\/p>\n
Too many churches embrace the fallacy that caring and inclusion mean the absence of conflict. This is a horribly destructive falsehood, because it stifles the creative and transformative confrontation of conflict. Caring and inclusion mean that conflict is addressed in a caring and inclusive way. An environment in which the tacit agreement is that we will avoid saying or doing anything somebody might disagree with is not one of caring and inclusion. If we assert, explicitly or implicitly, that controversy is not welcome, that disagreement is against the rules, what we are really saying is that we don\u2019t actually trust each other. Dissent and disagreement, when they are expressed respectfully, are an expression of trust. We are saying to that other person: I trust you; I trust that you will take these remarks in the spirit of good will in which they were intended; I trust that you will engage in this dialogue with me in a respectful and thoughtful way.<\/em><\/p>\n Most churches aren\u2019t real enthusiastic about dealing with conflict, and frankly, while it\u2019s not healthy to be conflict-avoidant, some folks make a fetish of conflict \u2014 they relish fussin\u2019 \u2019n\u2019 fightin\u2019 so much that that\u2019s the only way they know how to be in relationship with others. It\u2019s not impossible to find Unitarian Universalist congregations that fit that bill, though of course it ain\u2019t just us. Every human group has its conflicts, whether it\u2019s a family or a factory workforce or a town council or a church. Crises are a part of the nature of things, and crises create conflict. Such conflict can be addressed in any number of ways, but where there is a crisis, there will be a conflict. Stasis is not the nature of the universe; things change, things move, and predicaments arise, and with them, conflicts. Conflict is a part of life. The question is not whether or not we have to deal with conflicts, but how we respond to them, and how we may respond to the inevitable conflicts of the future.<\/p>\n \u201cLove is the spirit of this church\u201d means that we are going to disagree, and that we stay at the table even when the going gets tough. \u201cLove is the spirit of this church\u201d means that we are going to trust one another with our differences of opinion. \u201cLove is the spirit of this church\u201d means that we are going to be honest with one another and with ourselves \u2014 even when doing so is uncomfortable, especially<\/em> when doing so is uncomfortable. It\u2019s important to understand the thorny and complex meanings of \u201clove is the spirit of this church,\u201d but just as important is understanding what it doesn\u2019t mean. It doesn\u2019t mean that we place stability and appeasement and familiarity over courage and honesty and a sense of adventure. It doesn\u2019t mean that we think our interpersonal connections are so fragile that anything that could disrupt their perceived stasis needs to be avoided, especially since that perception of stasis is itself an illusion. Relationships are alive, and all living things grow and change. \u201cLove is the spirit of this church\u201d means that we as a faith community have to have the courage to grow and change together. And it does take courage, it does take courage to do that.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cLove is the spirit of this church, and service is its law.\u201d So begins a well-beloved passage adapted from the words of the Rev. James Vila Blake, a Unitarian Universalist minister in Evanston, Illinois. These words are often spoken in the life of our faith. Several of the congregations I\u2019ve served spoke them communally every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1079,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n