{"id":7374,"date":"2020-03-24T05:00:33","date_gmt":"2020-03-24T09:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/victoriousliving\/?p=7374"},"modified":"2020-02-04T17:11:14","modified_gmt":"2020-02-04T22:11:14","slug":"5-ways-being-single-matters-for-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/victoriousliving\/2020\/03\/5-ways-being-single-matters-for-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways Being Single Matters for Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

First, let me say right off the bat that being single is important in its own right. It is not just a waiting room for marriage. It is, in itself, a valuable and important stage of life.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

That being said, the time you spend as a single person also affects your marriage. The relationships you will enter into will not happen in a vacuum. You\u2019ll carry everything from your family of origin, your singleness, and your past decisions into the arena of marriage. And that is nothing to be afraid of, just something to be aware of. Here are five important ways your single life impacts your future marriage.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

1) Who You Are<\/strong><\/h4>\n

First and foremost, you are you. A marriage does not complete you. Being single is not a deficiency, it is just a situation \u2013 one of life\u2019s many seasons and circumstances. Who you are affects your marriage more than your marriage affects who you are.<\/p>\n

You do not lose or restart your identity when you get married. You just start to share it in an intimate way.<\/p>\n

And so, the decisions you make, the\u00a0patterns you establish<\/a>, and behaviors that have become habits are going to have a voice in your marriage. Stewarding your character is the most important aspect of any phase of life. As you do in your single life, so you will do in your marriage.
\n<\/p>\n

2) Communicating Your Values<\/strong><\/h4>\n

We love the concept of marriage because of how we imagine it will make us feel. We think of the value of marriage on an emotional level.<\/p>\n

But the truth is,\u00a0emotions<\/a>\u00a0are just an alarm letting you know your values are being pressed. Values that are likely going to remain unchanged as you transition from singlehood to marriage.<\/p>\n

Learning\u00a0what your values are<\/a>\u00a0and how to communicate them are an essential practice to vibrant living. If you are confused about your values and the cause of your emotions when you are single, you will struggle to communicate them with your spouse.
\n<\/p>\n

3) Navigating Your Emotions<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Worthy of its own mention, dealing with your emotions is an important practice of the single life that will affect your marriage.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Emotions are powerful and the way we respond to them reveals our character, our values, and the purpose we are pursuing. One of the most important (if not\u00a0the<\/strong>\u00a0most important) aspects of any relationship is communication. You communicate in a myriad of ways. Learning how to communicate with yourself and others, express your emotions honestly, and chose a healthy reaction will pay great dividends when you are suddenly sharing life with another human.
\n<\/p>\n

4) Boundaries<\/strong><\/h4>\n

As much as we love talking about two people coming together in marriage, the reality is you are still two individual people. There is a shared life, a unity. But the reality of two distinct entities does not change.<\/p>\n

Boundaries<\/a>\u00a0are about establishing where you begin and another person ends. When you are single, taking ownership of your choices and setting boundaries for your life will help set you up for an effective marriage.<\/p>\n

All sorts of marriages struggle with a lack of respect for one another, a lack of clarity of expectations, and an inability to express truth. All of this is the result of two people who cannot communicate boundaries with one another.
\n<\/p>\n

5) Thankfulness<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Every season and circumstance in life has challenges. There is no finish life to struggle or confusion. We are just\u00a0trading one set<\/a>\u00a0of concerns for another.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Your singleness matters. Again, not just in preparation for marriage. It matters in and of itself.<\/p>\n

Appreciating the season you are in will help set you up to appreciate all seasons. Most people do it the other way. They complain about being single and then complain about their spouse and then complain about their kids. They do not realize they have developed a pattern of negativity and have adopted a\u00a0victim mentality<\/a>\u00a0about their season(s) of life.<\/p>\n

You can end that today. And you should. You matter. Where you are and what you are doing matters. If you cannot be convinced of that in the season you are in, no seasonal shift or change in situation will be able to convince you of it in a sustainable way. Thankfulness is an internal issue.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

First, let me say right off the bat that being single is important in its own right. It is not just a waiting room for marriage. It is, in itself, a valuable and important stage of life. That being said, the time you spend as a single person also affects your marriage. The relationships you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3111,"featured_media":7386,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[142],"tags":[75,289,35,148,164,1749,1752,419,13],"class_list":["post-7374","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-boundaries","tag-emotions","tag-identity","tag-marriage","tag-relationships","tag-single","tag-thankful","tag-thankfulness","tag-values"],"yoast_head":"\n5 Ways Being Single Matters for Your Marriage<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"First, let me say right off the bat that being single is important in its own right. It is not just a waiting room for marriage. 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