Usually if I happen to be talking to another woman \u2013 an ordinary woman who has a nice, neat family of precisely two children \u2013 the subject of family size comes up.\u00a0 It\u2019s natural: the train of three kids running pell-mell in front of me with a baby gurgling in the stroller is an unusual sight.\u00a0 Are they all mine?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 She has only two, but that\u2019s enough.\u00a0 With two, she never has time for herself, never gets the gardening done, is constantly in her car driving them from here to there.\u00a0 She can\u2019t imagine how I manage with four.\u00a0 I say, \u201cOh, four is nothing.\u00a0 My Mom has eight.\u201d<\/p>\n
If I know the woman a little better, the conversation deepens.\u00a0 Underneath the worries and anxieties, the feelings of parental inadequacies, the frustrations of the life that one has put aside, there is a longing.\u00a0 \u201cThe baby is so cute.\u00a0 It makes me want another one. . . . I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Sometimes I think maybe I\u2019ll adopt one.\u00a0 But then \u2013 \u201d the money, the time, the energy, the work.\u00a0 The vast gray specter of eighteen more years of the dullness and drudgery.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe it\u2019s better just to look.\u00a0 Eventually, I\u2019ll have grandkids.\u00a0 Can I hold him for a minute?\u201d<\/p>\n
Melinda Selmys, Sexual Authenticity:\u00a0 An Intimate Reflection on Homosexuality and Catholicism<\/strong>, 130.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
This probably wouldn\u2019t have made me all misty if the exact thing hadn\u2019t happened to me last Sunday afternoon.\u00a0 I had taken my three children<\/a> out for a walk for the first time \u2013 Daisy is brand new \u2013 and met a family of precisely two.\u00a0 Their youngest was a little younger than my second.\u00a0 A lovely family, they just couldn\u2019t imagine how we did it.\u00a0 A family of five in a little two-bedroom apartment downtown.\u00a0 Even in their big house in the burbs they couldn\u2019t imagine where they\u2019d put another baby.\u00a0 And the lack of sleep!\u00a0 No, they couldn\u2019t have another one, even if it would be nice.<\/p>\n
Daisy sure is crying a lot though.<\/p>\n
Is she hungry?<\/p>\n
No, she just ate.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably digestion.<\/p>\n
Maybe I could get her to stop?<\/p>\n
Be my guest.<\/p>\n
Mom held Daisy for a long time.\u00a0 Then, Dad.\u00a0 He\u2019s the expert at this, after all.\u00a0 Maybe he can get her to stop.\u00a0 Then Mom again.\u00a0 They could not put her down.\u00a0 It\u2019s really too bad we can\u2019t have another.\u00a0 Really too bad.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the thing.\u00a0 We can\u2019t imagine how we\u2019re doing it either.\u00a0 Our heads are barely above water.\u00a0 Sometimes we order pizza to avoid dishes and sometimes we put on the cartoons and have a nap.\u00a0 But we\u2019ll get there.\u00a0 People have been having more than two kids for a long time.<\/p>\n
In other news, a family in the neighbourhood recently told us they\u2019re expecting number 2.\u00a0 Number 1 is still home in China with relatives and they miss him terribly, and this pregnancy wasn\u2019t planned.\u00a0 They had scheduled the abortion, in fact (\u201cWe\u2019re not religious, you understand.\u201d), but cancelled at the last second.\u00a0 They\u2019re scared, but excited.<\/p>\n
We see you out with your kids all the time.\u00a0 They look like so much fun.\u00a0 How do you do it?<\/p>\n
I have no idea.\u00a0 But you\u2019re right, it is fun.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never regret having your baby.<\/p>\n
\nBrett Salkeld<\/a> is a doctoral student in theology at Regis College in Toronto. He is a father of three (so far) and husband of one. He is the co-author of <\/em>How Far Can We Go? A Catholic Guide to Sex and Dating<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Usually if I happen to be talking to another woman \u2013 an ordinary woman who has a nice, neat family of precisely two children \u2013 the subject of family size comes up.\u00a0 It\u2019s natural: the train of three kids running pell-mell in front of me with a baby gurgling in the stroller is an unusual […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2991,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[350,123],"tags":[816],"class_list":["post-22404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brett-salkeld","category-children","tag-children-2"],"yoast_head":"\n
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