I talk a lot about my dad and often neglect to talk about my mother. This post is for her.<\/p>\n
The picture, one I took with my phone (sorry!), shows her doing what she does every night. She reads to my dad. As visitors drop by, Dad sometimes talks about how grateful he is for what others do for him. \u201cMy wife, Julia,\u201d he says, \u201creads to me every night. She serves me that way, and I love her.\u201d This particular book, by Terryl and Fiona Givens, is a token of this season in our Blair family life, as we confront old age and separation. This quote is particularly meaningful for us now:<\/p>\n
In the Garden story, good and evil are found on the same tree, not in separate orchards. Good and evil give meaning and definition to each other. If God, like us, is susceptible to immense pain, He is, like us, the greater in His capacity for happiness. The presence of such pain serves the larger purpose of God\u2019s master plan, which is to maximize the capacity for joy, or in other words, \u201cto bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.\u201d He can no more foster those ends in the absence of suffering and evil than one could find the traction to run or the breath to sing in the vacuum of space. God does not instigate pain or suffering, but He can weave it into His purposes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nThey used to knock women out before childbirth. A little ether, some forceps, and voila\u2013you\u2019ve got a baby and you hardly felt it. I was born that way. My brother Bobby was, the doctor said, \u201cupside down, inside out, and backwards.\u201d We kids had no idea of what Mom had gone through to give birth to our brother, but we liked him. It wasn\u2019t until baby #6 that I, at least, started to realize what Mom was giving up and risking for her family.<\/p>\n
In 1968, Mom taught French at my middle school. She also directed Shakespeare for an English class. I still remember a production of Macbeth<\/em> done under my mother\u2019s direction at the Farrer Junior High library.<\/p>\nThat year included a night when Dad summoned us five Blair children into the bedroom. I was fourteen and my youngest sister was eight. Dad was utterly serious. We did not have gatherings like this. There was something ominous about it. \u201cMom and I,\u201d he said, \u201chave something to tell you.\u201d <\/p>\n
My mind raced. What was this? Divorce? Cancer? A trip to Europe?<\/p>\n
\u201cMom is expecting a baby. It\u2019s due in August.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was stunned. I hadn\u2019t even contemplated the possibility that old people could or would still have children. Mom was thirty-seven! And they had finished their family\u2013hadn\u2019t they?<\/p>\n
After a moment to absorb the news, we kids shouted, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a baby!\u201d <\/p>\n
And so it was. On August 25th, 1969, as Mom and I were doing some project in a bedroom, she said, \u201cMargaret, I\u2019m having some strange pains. I think I might be in labor. Tell Dad, but don\u2019t tell the others yet. I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s labor or not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dad was reading the paper, and I whispered to him. He gasped slightly, giving me a quick smile to acknowledge our secret, and then went to her. Her water broke as they went out the door.<\/p>\n
I was not present when she started hard labor; that happened in the hospital. I didn\u2019t hear the nurse say, \u201cDoctor, her blood pressure is very high. Doctor! Did you hear me? Look at her numbers!\u201d<\/p>\n
I did not see my brother James being born, not breathing, nor did I see the doctor administering artificial respiration to his bluing body. I did not see my mother collapse back to her bed, blind. The blindness would last for a day. She had undetected toxemia, and nearly died.<\/p>\n
I did answer the phone when Dad called. \u201cIs James there?\u201d he asked. \u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cWell, he\u2019s here!\u201d Dad said, and wept.<\/p>\n
Our neighbors on Cedar Avenue can testify that we Blairs performed a rare parade that day. We marched and ran around the block, singing, \u201cWe have a baby! Jimmy is here!\u201d<\/p>\n
The next baby\u2013yes, number seven\u2013was a risk, because now the doctors knew about Mom\u2019s toxemia. Dad\u2019s sister had died earlier that year, and we planned on naming this baby after her\u2013Carolyn. The plan didn\u2019t work, because the baby was a boy, who we called Troy. Well, for awhile we called him that. When Dad gave him a name and a blessing a month later, he said, \u201cAnd the name we give him is Benjamin Wallace Blair.\u201d We looked at Mom, who gave a small shrug and a smile. She had Dad had decided on this name the night before. Ben Wallace Blair\u2013the house of Wallace Blair. Yes, red-headed Ben was named for my grandfather, who had died when Dad was eighteen.
\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/313\/2013\/11\/grandpablaircompressed2-e1385082751670-249x300.jpg\" "\\"grandpablair(compressed)\\"")
<\/a>The God Who Weeps: \u201cWhat we choose to embrace, to be responsive to, is the purest reflection of who we are and what we love.\u201d <\/p>\nThank you for exposing us to so much that is good and noble\u2013including your own character. I enjoyed being your only child for eleven months, but I\u2019m okay with having seven siblings who are also my dearest friends. I am in awe at what you were willing to sacrifice for each of us. You are glorious. Glorious.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mom reading The God Who Weeps to Dad I talk a lot about my dad and often neglect to talk about my mother. This post is for her. The picture, one I took with my phone (sorry!), shows her doing what she does every night. She reads to my dad. As visitors drop by, Dad […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1301,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[138,139,137,127],"class_list":["post-535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-childbirth","tag-christmas","tag-julia-blair","tag-motherhood"],"yoast_head":"\n
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![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/313\/2013\/11\/mom-and-dad-with-God-who-weeps.jpg\" "\\"mom")
<\/a> Mom reading The God Who Weeps to Dad<\/p>\n