Generationally, we went from stuffing, denying, medicating, and surrendering to our grief to analyzing it.<\/p>\n
That wasn\u2019t a bad thing.\u00a0 It was progress.\u00a0 And, famously, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross declared grief a process.\u00a0 That was a helpful, groundbreaking move, even though, as it turns out, she was wrong.<\/p>\n
The denial, depression, anger, dialogue, acceptance, and return to meaningful life that she described are undoubtedly elements of what we experience.\u00a0 But we don\u2019t experience them in any predictable order.\u00a0 Some of them are moments that endure longer than others; and we sometimes revisit some of the encounters that we have along the way.\u00a0 In still other places we get stuck.<\/p>\n
The way we experience our grief depends upon personality, body chemistry, the nature of the loss we experience, and, more importantly, the deeper significance of the losses we suffer.\u00a0 We may deny our losses longer than others.\u00a0 We may skip depression and go straight to anger.\u00a0 We may revisit earlier dimensions of our grief experience.\u00a0 But there is nothing necessarily predictable or linear about the journey.<\/p>\n
The popular language about \u201cgetting closure\u201d can also be deceptive \u2014 and, in some senses, potentially more harmful.\u00a0 What would it mean to get over the loss of a parent who raised you, a spouse you loved, or a job that was life-shaping?<\/p>\n
Our encounters with grief are not a process \u2014 they are an unpredictable journey.\u00a0 And although we may journey to new places in relationship with our grief, some losses so completely change our lives that the notion of \u201cclosure\u201d is a cruel taunt.<\/p>\n
This is also where spiritual answers prove to be so very important.\u00a0 Process and closure are the language of therapy \u2014 and while it is valuable, therapeutic language is profoundly limited.\u00a0 It\u2019s focus lies on what we can do and how we can respond.\u00a0 It is particular.\u00a0 It is temporal and it is focused on cure and coping.<\/p>\n
It is only God who can speak to the issue of healing and only God who can address some of life\u2019s greatest losses.\u00a0 Healing is comprehensive and enduring.\u00a0 It starts now, but it also awaits God\u2019s eternal care.<\/p>\n
Getting any kind of final grip on grief requires a relationship with God.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Generationally, we went from stuffing, denying, medicating, and surrendering to our grief to analyzing it. That wasn\u2019t a bad thing.\u00a0 It was progress.\u00a0 And, famously, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross declared grief a process.\u00a0 That was a helpful, groundbreaking move, even though, as it turns out, she was wrong. The denial, depression, anger, dialogue, acceptance, and return to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":240,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grief"],"yoast_head":"\n