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<\/a><\/p>\nAs Christmas approaches many of us will be grappling with the loss of those we love.\u00a0 And the holiday celebrations will lend a particular poignancy to those losses.<\/p>\n
There will be people missing from the pews alongside us as we worship.\u00a0 There will be empty chairs at the dinner table.\u00a0 Family rituals, familiar topics of conversation, and endearing behaviors will be missing from the fabric from our celebration.<\/p>\n
Such experiences have an irreducibly autobiographical character to them.\u00a0 While we can identify elements that we all share in common, there is also endless variation in the way that we experience and navigate those losses.\u00a0 So, what I offer here will be imperfect, but I hope that it may spark your reflections and suggest a way forward in this Christmas season.<\/p>\n
For those of us who are navigating those losses, allow me to suggest the following:<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t let yourself be lured or bullied into thinking that you need to \u201cget over your grief.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\nTo be sure, there is a kind of grief which \u2013 if allowed to drift and color your experience of life for too long \u2013 can be debilitating.\u00a0 The best indication that grief may have that kind of hold on us is the extent to which we are immobilized or paralyzed.\u00a0 Initially, we all experience the death of those we love as a kind of emptiness. \u00a0But if you find that you cannot move forward, consider looking for spiritual direction and counseling.\u00a0 Focus on doing small things.\u00a0 Stay in touch with others you love and trust.<\/p>\n
That said, \u201cgetting over\u201d the loss of loved ones is ill-advised.\u00a0 It makes no emotional or spiritual sense to talk in terms of getting over the loss of anyone who has been deeply meaningful to us.\u00a0 Such language suggests goals that are neither achievable nor desirable.<\/p>\n
It makes better sense to \u201crelearn the world.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\nThe best way forward in the wake of loss is to carry the gift of those loving relationships into our lives.\u00a0 Those we love touch our lives and shape us.\u00a0 But if we are lost in grief, it can be hard to remember the ways in which they have blessed us, and grief can obscure gift we have been given.<\/p>\n
Alternatively, we can acknowledge our grief and then \u201crelearn the world.\u201d Though this is a subtle and difficult process, relearning the world requires at least two steps: (1) name the contributions our friends have made to our lives and then (2) begin to reflect on the ways in which we might recognize and incorporate those contributions into the way we live.<\/p>\n
Acknowledge the complexity of loss and be gentle with yourself.<\/em><\/p>\nWhatever you do this Christmas, be gentle with yourself.\u00a0 When we lose those we love, there are countless layers to the losses we incur.\u00a0 We lose a sense of connection, meaning, and belonging.\u00a0 Conversations that have made us who we are can no longer be carried on in the same fashion.\u00a0 Memories that we have shared and nurtured together are now ours alone.<\/p>\n
And remember this:<\/em><\/p>\nChrist embraces us across that divide which cannot resist the power of the Resurrection.\u00a0 Those we lost are never far from us and in Christ we approach the celebration of Christmas held by the one we call Emmanuel, God with us.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a> \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As Christmas approaches many of us will be grappling with the loss of those we love.\u00a0 And the holiday celebrations will lend a particular poignancy to those losses. There will be people missing from the pews alongside us as we worship.\u00a0 There will be empty chairs at the dinner table.\u00a0 Family rituals, familiar topics of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":240,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2409,9,2395],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3923","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas","category-grief","category-loss"],"yoast_head":"\n
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