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<\/a><\/p>\nWoody Allen best captures the modern, American attitude toward death: \u201cI\u2019m not afraid to die, I just don\u2019t want to be there when it happens.\u201d[i]<\/a><\/p>\n But if denial is the dominant approach to death, our other approach to it involves a wide array of rationalizations:<\/p>\n \u201cHe lived a full life.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt was a blessing in disguise.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt could have been worse.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s all a part of life.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The list is endless.<\/p>\n Some of the rationalizations are intelligible, of course, at least in narrow terms.\u00a0 A painful illness that may have lingered and is cut short by death may be \u201ca mercy\u201d.\u00a0 A long, full life is, all things considered, preferable to a short one.\u00a0 If one dies on behalf of others, there is reason to believe that one has died \u201cin a good cause\u201d.<\/p>\n But such rationalizations are only true in narrow terms.\u00a0 Measured against the ideal, death is always a tragedy at some level.\u00a0 All things considered, the longer we live, the more attached we are to one another.\u00a0 A full life is still a life ended.\u00a0 A trying illness cut short by death is still a life cut short.<\/p>\n It is this dis-ease with death, its unfinished, disruptive, and unwelcome character, that Scripture names, whether it is in the Psalms or Wisdom Literature, the Gospels or the Pauline Epistles.\u00a0 According to the biblical witness, death is neither \u201cnatural\u201d nor is its \u201cGod\u2019s will\u201d.\u00a0 It is a contradiction to God\u2019s claim to be the author of life.\u00a0 As I have noted elsewhere, this is why the Resurrection is so important in the Christian faith and why it is about far more than what happens to us on the other side of the grave.\u00a0 The Resurrection<\/a> is a vindication of God\u2019s claim to be the Lord of life and a vindication of the claim that the death of Christ is the divinely chosen path of redemption.<\/p>\n But it also has implications for those who grieve the loss of those they love:<\/p>\n One, Christians are not, by definition, people who are unmoved by death.<\/em><\/p>\n Yes, as Paul observes, we do not grieve as people without hope, but we do grieve.[ii]<\/a>\u00a0 We grieve because we are human.\u00a0 We grieve because we are made for relationship.\u00a0 We grieve because to love deeply is to experience deep loss.<\/p>\n We also grieve because, in Christ, our relationships with God and with one another are healed and deepened.\u00a0 But even though that healing is already in motion, it is not yet all that those relationships will be.\u00a0 For that reason, it is natural, even inevitable, that we experience the presence of death as a source of grief.<\/p>\n Two, as Christians we grieve because we truly understand what it means to live.<\/em><\/p>\n Other religious traditions elevate attachment as the central spiritual challenge.\u00a0 That is certainly what Buddhism<\/a> teaches.\u00a0 In a sense that conviction lies at the heart of Stoicism (of which there are a growing number of modern adherents).<\/p>\n Not Christianity.\u00a0 To be sure attachment, especially to riches or to a life lived selfishly and for one\u2019s own sake is a problem \u2013 to say the least.\u00a0 But life in Christ is about ordering our attachments and about the healing of relationships.\u00a0 Life in Christ is about the healing of relationships with God and with others, and death challenges that promise.\u00a0 As Henri Nouwen notes, for that reason a Christian is aware that death is a \u201cdark contradiction\u201d and at odds with God\u2019s longing for us.[iii]<\/a><\/p>\n Three, Christians should be gentle with themselves and recognize that, in Christ, God grieves with them.<\/em><\/p>\n If Christians grieve because they are in touch with what it means to live, then they should also be gentle with themselves as they grieve.\u00a0 It is worth knowing, too, that Jesus grieves with them.<\/p>\n The moving portrait of the raising of Lazarus describes one of the rare windows into the emotions Jesus experienced and describes him as weeping at the news that Lazarus has died.\u00a0 Interpreters have noted that the description may suggest just how much Jesus loved Lazarus, and that is undoubtedly true.\u00a0 But others have noted that it may also reflect the grief Jesus felt at the prospect of bringing him back to life, knowing that he would die again.[iv]<\/a><\/p>\n The story is also a powerful window into the solidarity with our grief and loss that Jesus forges with us in the Incarnation.\u00a0 Why is this important?<\/p>\n Paul, as I have said, does not tell his churches that they should not grieve, but that they should not grieve as those without hope<\/em>.\u00a0 \u00a0The Book of Revelation foresees a new heaven and new earth in which the Resurrected Christ wipes away every tear, which presupposes that grief is a natural reaction to loss.[v]<\/a><\/p>\n The same is true for us, of course, and pastors should push back on those who claim that grief is something that is inappropriate or that grief is something that people should \u201cget over\u201d.\u00a0 To be sure, it is important not to become stuck.\u00a0 In the wake of loss it is important to \u201crelearn the world\u201d.[vi]<\/a><\/p>\n But relearning the world is not a predictable, linear process and it makes little sense to talk in terms of \u201cgetting over\u201d the loss of those we love.\u00a0 It makes more sense to accept that \u2013 only over time \u2013 we fold that loss into our lives. \u00a0We acknowledge it, and we find a way forward, assured that \u2013 thanks to God\u2019s gracious intervention \u2013 no good gift is forever lost.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n [i]<\/a> Woody Allen, Without Feathers<\/em> (New York: Ballentine, 1986).<\/p>\n [ii]<\/a> I Thessalonians 4:13-14.<\/p>\n [iii]<\/a> Quoted in: https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatgodwantsforyourlife\/2022\/04\/the-last-seven-words-of-jesus-my-god-my-god-why-have-you-forsaken-me\/<\/a><\/p>\n [iv]<\/a> The Lazarus story is one of resuscitation, and while it foreshadows the Resurrection, Lazarus is not raised to eternal life.<\/p>\n [v]<\/a> Revelation 21:4.<\/p>\n [vi]<\/a> Thomas Attig, The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love<\/em> (New York: Oxford University Press, 2002).<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Photo by Danie Franco<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Woody Allen best captures the modern, American attitude toward death: \u201cI\u2019m not afraid to die, I just don\u2019t want to be there when it happens.\u201d[i] But if denial is the dominant approach to death, our other approach to it involves a wide array of rationalizations: \u201cHe lived a full life.\u201d \u201cIt was a blessing in 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