Jealous.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A few nights ago I attended a reading by a new novelist. \u00a0She is gorgeous, and her book has taken the publishing world by storm. \u00a0Her husband was there,\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jealous.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A few nights ago I attended a reading by a new novelist. \u00a0She is gorgeous, and her book has taken the publishing world by storm. \u00a0Her husband was there,\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"What She Said\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-11-10T12:57:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-11-10T13:00:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/files\/2011\/11\/Overcome-Jealousy-and-Selfishness1-150x150.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Trish Ryan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Trish Ryan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/\",\"name\":\"Jealous.\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-11-10T12:57:56+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-11-10T13:00:20+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/#\/schema\/person\/861609915e9b48215838fb62790bcb4a\"},\"description\":\"A few nights ago I attended a reading by a new novelist. \u00a0She is gorgeous, and her book has taken the publishing world by storm. \u00a0Her husband was there,\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Jealous.\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/\",\"name\":\"What She Said\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/#\/schema\/person\/861609915e9b48215838fb62790bcb4a\",\"name\":\"Trish Ryan\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9e93fe6840564e572bc992cd8e43b0e?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/a9e93fe6840564e572bc992cd8e43b0e?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Trish Ryan\"},\"description\":\"Trish Ryan is the author of two books: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: A Memoir of Finding Faith, Love & Happily Ever After (Hachette\/FaithWords 2008) and A Maze of Grace: A Memoir of Second Chances (Hachette\/FaithWords 2010). 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{"id":127,"date":"2011-11-10T07:57:56","date_gmt":"2011-11-10T12:57:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/?p=127"},"modified":"2011-11-10T08:00:20","modified_gmt":"2011-11-10T13:00:20","slug":"jealous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whatshesaid\/2011\/11\/jealous\/","title":{"rendered":"Jealous."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

And there I was, in the middle of the crowd, looking attentive and (I think) somewhat normal, being eaten alive by jealousy.<\/p>\n

There was no\u00a0reason<\/em> to be jealous. \u00a0I\u2019m not competing with her for scarce resources, real or imagined. \u00a0Yes, she\u2019s beautiful, but I was having a pretty good hair day. \u00a0If the writing world is a highway, she\u2019s a novelist, I write memoir; we\u2019re not even in the same lane.\u00a0I\u00a0was even wearing my own cashmere cardigan.\u00a0And yet somehow reason<\/em> didn\u2019t apply in that moment. Going back to the highway metaphor, I felt like this woman had just blown by me in her Maserati,while I chugged along in an \u201986 Jetta with no hubcaps, hoping to make it to the next exit before the muffler fell off my car.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What\u2019s up with that? \u00a0I don\u2019t think I\u2019m the only one who\u2019s been hit by a wave of this sort of thing. \u00a0I suspect it happens all the time. \u00a0But\u00a0what do we do when the judgement isn\u2019t a choice, but rather a wave that \u00a0hits us from out of nowhere?<\/p>\n

I read\u00a0this<\/a> blog post from Forbes.com, suggesting that jealousy can be a motivator. \u00a0That surprised me\u2026I\u2019m still thinking about it.<\/p>\n

And I heard a song lyric about how truth will set us free. \u00a0Too often, I think the\u00a0truth <\/em>about jealousy is that I should feel guilty for it, as if it\u2019s my fault. \u00a0My brain sorts things out in terms like black & white\/options A,B, or C. \u00a0But when I ask God about something I can\u2019t wrestle into one of my predetermined options, He usually says something like,\u00a0\u201cLet\u2019s think about the color turquoise, shall we? \u00a0And consider whether or not you like that new pasta sauce enough to make it again next week.\u201d<\/em> Totally\u00a0other<\/em>. \u00a0He takes me out of vain imaginings about someone else\u2019s perfect life, and into the dreams and realities of my own.<\/strong> That\u2019s a better place to be (even when the answer is\u00a0No, I will never again make that terrible pasta sauce.) <\/em>I\u2019m trying to stay there. \u00a0And to remember that her success both a\u00a0good<\/em> thing\u2026and not the entire story.<\/p>\n

How do you deal with jealousy?<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"