{"id":1192,"date":"2013-06-07T06:40:46","date_gmt":"2013-06-07T10:40:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whitehindu\/?p=1192"},"modified":"2015-03-13T22:36:20","modified_gmt":"2015-03-14T02:36:20","slug":"the-key-to-everything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/whitehindu\/2013\/06\/the-key-to-everything\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Mindfulness The Key to Everything?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I discovered this book about charisma when I was waiting in line at Fedex\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always wanted to be more charismatic, so I decided to give it a try. Her premise is that the ability to command the attention of a room and to be likable in that charismatic way is not something one is either born with or not. It is a skill that can be learned. According to her, charisma is made up of three things: Presence, Power, and Warmth.<\/p>\n

She spends an awful lot of time in the book working with presence. In fact, the practical exercises she gives are all things I was already familiar with\u2026from SES<\/a>!<\/p>\n

I hadn\u2019t realized just how special some of the things I grew up with really are. It is becoming more and more clear to me through this book and other sources that the kind of control that I have over my mind and thoughts is unusual. And mine isn\u2019t all that great! I know people with far better control, yet I have a fair amount of ability to direct and manage my thoughts. I can\u2019t imagine how chaotic it would be to live without that ability, yet this book suggests that thousands of CEOs and powerful business people do not have this skill.<\/p>\n

It never occurred to me to use my ability to be fully present and in the moment as a way to draw people\u2019s attention, but I\u2019ll have to give it a try! Presence is definitely something I know how to do. Of those three skills, the only one I think I lack is power. Yet the book has so far spent very little time on that one. Of the six exercises she has outlined so far, all of them are familiar from my religious practices. Every single one! The tone of the book has started to irritate me, as though she thinks she\u2019s making some huge breakthrough with this stuff. I guess for many people she is. It seems like kindergarten work to me. :-\/<\/p>\n

Presence is very much created by mindfulness, which is a concept that seems to be getting people excited these days. Everywhere I look I\u2019m seeing people talking about mindfulness (possibly a result of the kinds of circles I hang out in!)<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a post about how it helps relationships from HuffPost Weddings<\/a>. The author references her own post about the many benefits of mindfulness<\/a>. This might be why Brad and I don\u2019t fight. It never occurred to me not<\/em> to use presence and mindfulness when dealing with relationship issues.<\/p>\n

Another place where I was reminded of this was in watching Eat Pray Love<\/a>\"\"\u00a0again when it was playing on TV during my vacation. In NY and again at the ashram in India there are scenes where it\u2019s clearly supposed to show the profoundly different world of chanting in Sanskrit and singing bhajans. Like that\u2019s something wacky and outside of people\u2019s comfort zones. It\u2019s hard for me to relate to that. Scenes like that feel like the norm for me.<\/p>\n